NFA/FNBF 2017

[Tarry]

"Broken Matt Hardy, I knew you'd come!" King Tarry says whilst sitting on a throne in Broken Matt Hardy's former banquet hall. If you missed last week's episode of NFA you're probably wondering what's going on. To keep things simple, NFA Cruiserweight Champion King Tarry has moved into House Hardy while Matt was away. In that time, King Tarry has taken Hardy's family hostage and has put them to work. He has also caged Broken Matt Hardy's faithful friend Vanguard 1. Skarsgård, the dilapidated boat's whereabouts have yet to be disclosed. In the most bizarre move, King Tarry has Maxel Hardy sat by his side on a mini throne, although he has no yet revealed why he is giving Maxel preferential treatment. Anyway, back to The Broken Universe. "You didn't think I wouldn't find out about this, did you? King Tarry asks gesturing to Maxel. "You have made a terrible mistake coming here and keeping my family hostage, now I'll be taking King Maxel back from you and you can see yourself out." "That's just it! I'm the one true King, this child is the latest in a long line of false Kings, and for that your entire family must be held accountable for this act of TREASON!" "Treason? Preposterous! If you do not hand over my son I will take him by force and you will suffer the most devastating of DELETIONS!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELEEEEEEETE!"

Welcome to NFA! We have a stacked card heading your way, so let's waste no time getting down to it!

Up first tonight is a No DQ handicap match pitting Roman Reigns against Team Zero's Pentagon Jr. & Roderick Strong. Reigns' music hits but he's nowhere to be seen. We hear a commotion backstage before Reigns is thrown through the curtain. Pentagon and Strong follow him out with kendo sticks. They cane the hell out of Reigns before dragging him to the ring. They roll him into the ring and bell rings. Team Zero grab hold of Roman Reigns and drill him to the mat with an Assisted Spike Pildedriver for the win. After the match, former NFA Superstar Lashley jumps the barricade and ambushes Team Zero. Lashley nails both men with a huge Double Spear, laying them out. Security rushes down the ramp but Lashley bails before they make it to the ring.

Tiarnán and Becky Lynch are conversing backstage when The Worldwide Underground approach them. "Tiarnán, what the hell are you doing hanging out with this loser?" Johnny Mundo asks in a snarky tone, "The Worldwide Underground is an exclusive club and we do no hang out with non-members, especially losers like Becky here." Becky Lynch prepares to give Mundo some straight fiya, but Tiarnán steps in the way to prevent that from happening. "That's what I thought," Mundo says, mocking Becky and Tiarnán, "Now put this on and come with us." Johnny Mundo hands Tiarnán his own Worldwide Underground bandana, which Tiarnán reluctantly ties around his head. Tiarnán and The Worldwide Underground walk off together, leaving Becky Lynch looking deflated.

Up next on NFA we have Cruiserweight action as two legends of the division go one-on-one! Out first is Mr. Wednesday Night himself, Rob Van Dam, and he receives a very warm welcome from the NFA Universe. Next out is the Master of the 619, Rey Mysterio, who is met with an equally positive reaction. The two men compete in an incredible back-and-forth match that gets the crowd on their feet. RVD hits a huge kick to the side of the head of Mysterio knocking him to the mat. Van Dam goes up top and attempts to hit the Split Legged Moonsault, but Mysterio rolls out of the way. RVD recovers, but Mysterio connects with a drop toe hold and hangs RVD on the middle rope. Mysterio hits the 619 and attempts the West Coast Pop, but he's met with a dropkick to the chin. Van Dam ascends the top rope and hits the Five Star Frogsplash for the win. After the mat the two men shake hands to show sportsmanship. Mysterio leaves the ring to give Van Dam his moment when a white rabbit appears on the titantron. "Tick tock," a voice says as RVD looks around in confusion.

We cut to a room illuminated with red lights. "You've not yet mastered your abilities," Kane says, "Using them to get us to safety last week was risky." Paige looks at Kane with a blank look on her face. Kane continues, "Next week I'm going to end this before it escalates into an all out war. We're going back to NFA and I'm going to fight Mil Muertes!"

Up next on NFA is a match to determine the #1 Contenders to the NFA Tag Team Champions. In the ring is the team of Tyler Breeze and Fandango, Breezango. Next out are The Predators, Randy Orton and Baron Corbin. The bell rings and The Predators dominate Breezango. They pick up the quick win with the stereo RKO & End of Days. "Woah, woah, woah, not so fast!" Jayzero shouts as he walks out onto the stage, "I'm afraid The Predators aren't the #1 Contenders, in fact you could say they're the #1 Contenders to the #1 Contenders. Next week, Orton and Corbin, you'll face Team Zero to determine the true #1 Contenders." Jayzero drops the mic and walks to the back as The Predators look on pissed.

We take a look back at the double proposal that took place last week before joining Jessica, Cesaro and Wolfgang in the middle of dress shopping. Jessica walks out of the dressing room wearing a stunning gown. She strolls into the centre of the room where Cesaro and Wolfgang are seated to show off the dress to her future husband(s). "Well, what do you think?" She asks, giving a twirl. "You look absolutely ravishing," Cesaro states, trying not to get choked up. "And what do you think, Wolfgang?" Jessica asks, turning to face him. "Honestly, I think you look incredible, but it doesn't matter if you wear a wedding dress on our big day, I'm perfectly fine with getting married on the beach in swimwear." Jessica contemplates Wolfgang's beach wedding proposal before turning to the bridal consultant, "I'll take it! My fiancées will be paying."

We have Women's Division action next up on NFA! Alexa Bliss makes her way to the ring with The Bliss Squad. Out next is Naomi, who earlier today on Twitter promised that Alexa will feel the glow tonight. The bell rings and a member of The Bliss Squad immediately jumps onto the apron. Naomi takes him out with a huge forearm, but the distraction gives Alexa the opportunity to roll up Naomi for the win. Alexa bails the ring as an irate Naomi throws a tantrum. Alexa mocks her from the floor, which may have been a bad choice of actions, because Naomi launches herself over the top rope, taking out Alexa and The Bliss Squad. Naomi rains down with hammer fists as referees and NFA security rush down the ramp to pull them apart.

Emma and Sable make their way to the ring with a duffle bag. Emma places the bag on a table in the ring and unzips it. "Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to have the first ever Bayley Benefit Auction, with all proceeds going towards getting Bayley a new face!" The crowd boos Sable, but she doesn't care. Emma pulls a band shirt out of the bag and holds it up, Sable then continues with the auction, "Who'll give me $1 for this ratty ass t-shirt with genuine mustard stains?" The crowd boos, but again Sable continues, "No bids? That's a shame!" Emma then throws the t-shirt into the audience. "Emma, next lot please," Sable says as Emma retrieves a ripped pair of jeans, whether they're intended to be ripped is unknown, "And what about these dirty jeans that no one in their right mind would be caught dead in?" The crowd boos yet again, but again, Sable isn't phased. Emma throws the jeans into the crowd and the next lot gets underway. Emma reaches into the bag and pulls out a pair of granny panties. "Now I know there'll be no bids on these," Sable snickers, "Toss them, Emma." Emma prepares to throw the underwear into the crowd when she's interrupted by the music of Bayley. "This has gone fair enough!" Bayley shouts, tears filling her eyes, "Just give me back my bag." "And what do we get in return?" Sable asks. "In return, I'll put the NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship on the line against Emma at The Beginning of The End!" "You've got yourself a deal," Sable replies, "Emma, return Bayley's belongings, please." Emma leaves the ring with the duffle bag and heads up the ramp. She hands back the bag to Bayley, but suddenly drops her with a DDT onto the stage. Emma grabs hold of the NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship and raises it above her head as Sable applauds.

It's now time for our main event, and do we have a main event for you! The Man makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction. Out next is a promising young star who has been given a huge opportunity here tonight, Zack Sabre Jr! The bell rings and The Man goes on the attack, but ZSJ has him well scouted and dodges the attack. Sabre Jr jumps up at The Man and hooks his head, wrapping his legs around his torso. Zack Sabre Jr. wrenches on The Man's head as it becomes apparent that a guillotine choke has been locked in. The Man drops to his knees and looks ready to tap but out of nowhere he gets a second wind and transitions the guillotine choke into a Powerbomb. The Man makes the cover, but Zack somehow manages to kick out. The Man drags Sabre Jr. to his feet and sets up for the World's Strongest Slam, but Zack fights out and performs a snapmare on The Man. The Man, now in a seated position, finds himself on the receiving end of a nasty PK. Sabre Jr. makes the cover, but The Man kicks out! Zack wastes no time locking in an armbar as The Technical Wizard lives up to his name. The Man looks ready to tap again until the lights seem to go on in his mind. He makes it back to his feet, still locked in the armbar, and swings Zack Sabre Jr. onto his shoulders. Zack releases the hold, trying to get free, but finds himself being driven to the mat with The Burning Hammer. The Man picks up the win, extending his record to 21-0. He grabs a microphone, "Finn Bálor, I'm coming for your title."

[Burke]

The Bayley Benefit Auction was amazing. Sable would totally come up with something like that to humiliate someone like Bayley.

"TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELEEEEEEETE!"

I'm dying laughing imagining this exchange.

Mysterio leaves the ring to give Van Dam his moment when a white rabbit appears on the titantron. "Tick tock," a voice says as RVD looks around in confusion.

So we the viewers are somehow experiencing one of RVD's pot-fueled hallucinations, right?

[Brandon]

First and foremost, I love that logo. 🌚

Mar 8, 2017 15:53:54 GMT -5 Tarry said:

"That's just it! I'm the one true King, this child is the latest in a long line of false Kings, and for that your entire family must be held accountable for this act of TREASON!"

This shit really does need to be made into a movie, lmao.

I wonder if Roman fell through that curtain as dramatically as Maryse a couple of weeks ago on SmackDown?

I never thought I'd feel sympathetic for Becky Lynch, yet here we are. A testament to your writing.

I'm surprisingly here for Rob Van Dam being featured on NFA in 2017. And I'm intrigued by this 🐇 nonsense.

I can't wait to see how hideous Jessica's bridesmaids look, because I know the dresses are gonna be tacky. Anya getting married on BtVS teas.

Yasss, Slayomi. The Bliss Squad finna meet the Naomob. 😂

That really is dead ass something 2003 Sable would have recruited Dawn Marie and Nidia to do to Torrie Wilson, though.

[Mutant Couch]

Mar 9, 2017 2:01:42 GMT -5 Brandon said:

I can't wait to see how hideous Jessica's bridesmaids look, because I know the dresses are gonna be tacky. Anya getting married on BtVS teas.

[Brandon]

    Welcome to another exciting edition of Friday Night Bitch Fight. Tonight our show kicks off with Miz TV, and The Miz and Maryse are already in the ring. They welcome the audience to their guest, Ethan Carter III, and he makes his way down to the ring with his fiancée, Tiffany, on his arm, who's slaying all y'all like Buffy, bitch. EC3 and Tiffany take seats opposite The Miz and Maryse, who thank them for joining them. The Miz begins by saying he originally planned on giving EC3 this for choking in the big match back at Bragging Rights, but now he deserves it for choking last week in his match against John Cena, and presents him with a The Miz Participation Award. EC3 reluctantly accepts the award, but claims he can't take all the credit, because he was feeling ill after seeing that featurette for The Miz and Maryse's new movie. "Speaking of Tomb Invader!" The Miz happily segues. "I have an exclusive first look at the trailer." he says, and they all turn their heads to the tron. The trailer shows several brief clips, like a Jeep chase with a questionable CGI background, and a crocodile jumping out of a river and grabbing The Miz's backpack, dragging him towards the water. Next we see Maryse's character seducing The Miz in their tent, with sexy saxophone music playing in the background, but then we hear a record scratch, and he wakes up to find her, and his artifact, gone. The trailer ends with a shot of Maryse in her evil getup, spinning towards the camera and throwing her knife at it, causing the screen to go black. When we return, The Miz and Maryse are clapping proudly, while EC3 pretends to startle awake after dozing off, and Tiffany looks around questioningly. The Miz asks EC3 what he thought, and EC3 says it was, "Uh... sweet." along with a yikes expression. He continues by saying it's great The Miz found something to do with his abundance of free time, but he's been a little busy being the Universal Champion to star in any films. "Except our home videos." he adds, winking to Tiffany, who giggles into his shoulder. The Miz quips that EC3 wont have to worry about that much longer, and EC3 claps back, saying he may have choked last week, but The Miz's career choked about five years ago, so he isn't too worried. At this, Maryse jumps out of her seat. "Hey, hey, hey!" she says, striding over to them. "Do you have any idea what happens to people who speak to my husband that way?" she asks. Without missing a beat, EC3 responds coolly. "Well usually he hides behind you." he tells her. Maryse looks EC3 up and down and smirks, chuckling to herself. She then rears back to slap him, but before she can, Tiffany jumps out of her own seat and catches her wrist. Maryse screams as Tiffany grabs two fistfuls of her platinum blonde hair and slings her to the mat, straddling her, while EC3 takes this as a cue to tackle The Miz out of his chair, and now both couples are brawling with EC3 and Tiffany on top! It doesn't take long for Brandon to come out, demanding for them to stop this. A team of referees run out behind him and hit the ring to separate the two couples, who are still trying to get at one another. "If you four want to fight so badly, you can do it next week, in a mixed tag match!" Brandon declares. "And you know what? I feel like putting the Universal title on the line, so you two can finally settle this once and for all. But first? I think you two need to learn to be a little more professional, so tonight, you can team together in our main event." Brandon turns around and stomps to the back, while the two couples continue to shout threats across the ring as we fade to commercial.

    Nikki Bella's theme hits upon our return, and the fans jump to their feet for the Women's Champion. As she makes her way down to the ring, Tom Phillips explains that Brandon allowed Nikki and Charlotte to pick opponents for one another tonight, and once Nikki's in the ring, Nia Jax's theme hits, and Nikki smirks to herself. Of course Charlotte would pick her. After Nia joins Nikki in the ring, the ref calls for the bell and the two lock up, with Nia immediately throwing Nikki to the mat. Nia throws her around the ring a couple of times by her hair, then headbutts her. She whips Nikki into the corner and charges at her, but Nikki spins out of the corner and Nia crashes into the turnbuckle. As she stumbles back, Nikki bounces off of the middle rop and hits a springboard roundhouse kick, knocking Nia off of her feet. Nikki attempts to mount a comeback, but Nia brings her momentum to a screeching halt with a pop-up Samoan drop. Nikki is already laying sprawled out on the canvas, but Nia hits a leg drop for good measure, and easily gets the one-two-three. As she leaves the ring, the official checks on Nikki, who's favoring her neck.

    After a quick advertisement for Fat Camp, an adult cartoon on the BP Network depicting Superstars like King Tarry, Tiarnán, Brandon, Tiffany, Burke, Jessica, Jason, Jayzero, Ethan Carter III and Alexa Bliss as children, we return to the ring where James Ellsworth is standing by, and he's accompanied by Carmella. Burke's music hits, and he's accompanied by his girlfriend, Dana Brooke, who's carrying a water bottle and a hand towel. Burke's booed the entire way to the ring, but they're totally oblivious to this, and play up to the crowd. After a minute, Burke realizes he's underestimated Ellsworth and calls for a timeout. Dana hops onto the ring apron and sprays some water into Burke's open mouth, before patting him down with the towel, concern etched on her face. Dana then turns to Ellsworth and sneers. The audacity of him to put his hands on her man. The ref demands for Burke to get back in there, and he does, but after a couple more minutes of action, Ellsworth whips Burke into the ropes, looking to hit the No Chin Music, but Dana grabs onto Burke's leg and holds him in place. The official admonishes Dana, and Ellsworth is looking to Carmella, who's shouting at the referee to send her to the back, so Burke takes advantage of everyone's distraction by low blowing Ellsworth, then rolling him up with a small package (How apropos!). Dana quickly backs away from the ring and holds her hands up in innocence, and the ref turns around and begins to count the pin. Carmella does a double take once she realizes what's happening in the ring, but by then it's too late, and the ref declares Burke the winner. Dana claps proudly on the outside before sliding into the ring, planting a big kiss on her man in congratulations. Instead of raising his hand in victory, Dana goes one further and lifts Burke up on her shoulders, and he raises his arms in the air like he just won the Universal Championship.

    Backstage, Ariane Andrew is standing by with Noam Dar and Alicia Fox. Ariane congratulates Noam on his debut last week, and asks him what's next. Noam begins to say that he's got his sights set on the Cruiserweight Championship, but he's interrupted by Tony Nese. Nese says he heard Noam's debut was impressive. He wouldn't know personally, because he zoned out during the match, but he warns Noam that trying to take the Cruiserweight title from him is going to be a little tougher than beating T.J. Perkins. Tony says he's already beaten everyone in the division, so he's even willing to put the title on the line next week just so he can face a new challenger. But first he wants to know, what makes Noam think he can beat him, when no one else could? Noam puts his arm around Alicia Fox and pulls her close, telling him he's already a winner no matter what, as long as he has, "the beautiful Alicia Fooooooox." Tony says if he wanted her, he could have her, too. He then curls his bicep and flexes for Foxy, winking and blowing her a kiss. Alicia gasps, and Noam tries to defend his girlfriend's honor by pushing Nese, but Tony shoves him even harder, knocking him to the floor. "You're nothing but a big bully!" Alicia theatrically calls after Tony as he struts off, kneeling down to check on her man.

    Next up, Charlotte is out to compete against her mystery opponent, handpicked by Nikki Bella, and it's none other than The Boss, Sasha Banks! Charlotte snarls as her former stable-mate makes her way down to the ring, and as soon as the official calls for the bell, the former BFFs go at it. The match is extremely impressive, but Charlotte proves to be the better woman after catching Sasha in the Charlotte's Web.

    Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler are out next, and they're followed by American Alpha, who're accompanied by Jason. Before American Alpha can finish making their entrance, Ziggler hits Jordan with the Zig Zag from behind. American Alpha's music is abruptly cut short, and Gable turns around and eats a Superkick from Rollins, knocking him out cold. Jason tries to step to Rollins, but he kicks him in the gut, causing Jason to stumble back and through the ropes to the outside. With Jason and Gable out of the picture, Ziggler and Rollins continue their assault on Jordan, despite the referee's attempts to pull them off of him. Jordan tries to pick himself up, but Ziggler puts him back down with the Famouser. Again, Jordan tries to get up, more slowly this time, and now it's Rollins who puts him down for good with the Curb Stomp. Reluctantly, Rollins and Ziggler finally listen to the referee and leave the ring, having done what they set out to do: send a message.

    It's finally time for the hotly anticipated hot body contest, and Jessie Godderz is standing in the ring to host the competition. He's dressed like a Chippendales dancer, and he says he's emceeing tonight because he (looks down) knows a hot body when he sees one. First, he introduces Brandon, who's still dressed in a suit. Next, he introduces Kevin Owens. It takes Owens a moment to be forced out on stage, and when he finally is, he clearly isn't happy; dressed in his usual attire. Owens joins Jessie and Brandon in the ring, and Jessie explains the rules. Both men will have a chance to show off their bodies, and once they're done, the audience will decide the winner. Jessie says that Brandon will go first, and he takes a step back to give him the floor as the lights change and "Feelin' Me" starts to play. Brandon struts out of his corner to the center of the ring, shrugging out of his jacket and letting it fall to the floor. Next he unties his tie and pulls it off, followed by unbuttoning his vest, which he also lets fall to the floor. Next, Brandon untucks his dress shirt and begins to unbutton it from the bottom, before opting to rip it open the rest of the way, and spins it above his head while doing a body roll before tossing it aside. Brandon then works on his belt and yanks it off with a single pull, before turning to the side and spanking himself with it in the direction of Owens, who's completely stone faced. Next, Brandon steps out of his dress shoes and starts to unbutton his pants. Turning around so his back is facing the camera, he bends over and pushes them down, giving every viewer watching at home an Asstastic, before kicking his slacks to Jessie, who catches them. Brandon turns back around to face the camera, standing there in Versace briefs and knee high dress socks, grinding and rubbing his hands over his body in a move that's a mixture of Rick Rude's hip swivel and Candice Michelle's GoDaddy dance. The music eventually stops, and the lights return to normal. Brandon returns to his corner, and Jessie applauds his performance, noting that it'll be tough for Owens to beat, but it's his turn nevertheless. Again Jessie steps back to give Owens the floor, and Mae Young's old theme, "Ooh Baby!" starts to play. Over in his corner, Brandon doubles over with laughter. "You think this is funny?!" Owens demands. He shakes his head at Jessie, stating that he's not going through with this. Brandon comes over and tries to talk Kevin into just get it over with. "It's not that serious." Brandon chides him, telling him to lose the shirt. Owens refuses, pushing Brandon's hand away when he reaches for it, and Brandon pushes him back. Owens continues to argue with Jessie, and again Brandon reaches for his shirt, and Owens turns on him, pointing his finger in his face. Brandon retaliates by shoving Owen's hand away, and Owens shoves him hard into the corner. Brandon gasps at Jessie, before clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes at Owens. "Uh oh..." Corey Graves utters on commentary. Brandon grabs Owens by his shirt and throws him across the ring - and inadvertently - out of his shirt! Owens jumps up and he's ready to fight, but he suddenly becomes very aware of the fact that everyone is laughing at him, and he looks down to see that his shirt is gone, and everyone can see the SPANX he was wearing underneath! Brandon's jaw is on the floor, and he too starts to laugh, while KO curses him, before doing his best to cover himself with his arms. Owens rolls out of the ring and backs up the ramp, still cursing Brandon, and all of the fans in the front row, while back in the ring, Jessie thrusts Brandon's hand in the air to cheers, declaring him the winner. Brandon beams in faux-surprise, before giving Jessie a hug and pandering to the crowd.

    After a commercial, we return to a DURING THE BREAK video of Brandon returning to his office with a smile still on his face. It falters, however, when he sees Summer Rae hanging up the phone looking grim. "The board of directors just called." Summer ominously says. "They didn't sound happy..." Brandon grimaces, touching his fingers to his lips like, oops. Could this be the final straw for the FNBF GM?

    It's main event time, and The Miz makes his way down to the ring, accompanied by Maryse. They're followed by Ethan Carter III and Tiffany, who keep their distance when they join them in the ring; both couples pretending the other doesn't exist. Zack Ryder is the first of their opponents out next, and he's followed by his partner, John Cena. Cena strips his shirt off and tosses it into the crowd as the official calls for the bell, ready to start things out for his team. In the opposite corner, EC3 tries to approach Cena to lock up, looking to redeem himself after last week, when The Miz reaches into the ring and tags himself in, shooing EC3. The Miz and Cena start things out, but after a couple of minutes, Maryse and Tiffany begin to exchange words on the outside. Tiffany pokes Maryse repeatedly in the shoulder, and Maryse retaliates by shoving Tiffany, causing her to stumble in her heels. Tiffany takes a moment to collect herself - and then she spears Maryse into the barricade! The two women are once again catfighting on the outside, and The Miz drops Cena to roll out of the ring and break them up, but when EC3 sees The Miz put hands on his fiancée, he hops down from the ring apron. Spinning The Miz around, EC3 decks him in the face! The two men exchange blows on the outside, with EC3 getting the better of The Miz, clubbing him across the back when he doubles over. EC3 throws The Miz back into the ring, and when he climbs to his feet, he walks right into an Attitude Adjustment from John Cena! The official counts the one-two-three, and EC3 is still fuming on the outside. Tiffany places a hand on his chest and guides him to the ramp, which is the only thing stopping him from getting another piece of The Miz. Meanwhile, Maryse crawls in the ring to check on her man, shooting the occasional shook glance over her shoulder at EC3 and Tiffany like they're wild animals. These two couples will meet in our main event next week, and the Universal Championship will be on the line!

[Burke]

Tomb Invader sounds like a worthy successor to 18 Holes as the go-to BP Films franchise. I'm sure the love scenes are better anyway.

Fat Camp sounds amazing too. Baby King Tarry is probably the camp bully.

While some may find it sad that I needed so much help to defeat someone the caliber of James Ellsworth, I think it shows just how close me and Dana are. We can't help but help each other.

This Noam Dar/Tony Nese feud is probably going to read like some joint fan-fiction written by you and Jayzero.

The hot body contest.



Owens at the end tbh.

[Brandon]

Tiffany after the trailer for Tomb Invader:




And me when Summer said the board of directors called:

[Jayzero]

For NFA:

Mar 8, 2017 15:53:54 GMT -5 Tarry said:

"Broken Matt Hardy, I knew you'd come!" King Tarry says whilst sitting on a throne in Broken Matt Hardy's former banquet hall. If you missed last week's episode of NFA you're probably wondering what's going on. To keep things simple, NFA Cruiserweight Champion King Tarry has moved into House Hardy while Matt was away. In that time, King Tarry has taken Hardy's family hostage and has put them to work. He has also caged Broken Matt Hardy's faithful friend Vanguard 1. Skarsgård, the dilapidated boat's whereabouts have yet to be disclosed. In the most bizarre move, King Tarry has Maxel Hardy sat by his side on a mini throne, although he has no yet revealed why he is giving Maxel preferential treatment. Anyway, back to The Broken Universe. "You didn't think I wouldn't find out about this, did you? King Tarry asks gesturing to Maxel. "You have made a terrible mistake coming here and keeping my family hostage, now I'll be taking King Maxel back from you and you can see yourself out." "That's just it! I'm the one true King, this child is the latest in a long line of false Kings, and for that your entire family must be held accountable for this act of TREASON!" "Treason? Preposterous! If you do not hand over my son I will take him by force and you will suffer the most devastating of DELETIONS!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELEEEEEEETE!"

The fuck Lashley want? He quit the same way people used to quit IMDb. Making that huge scene in my office last week just to come back and make anothe scene.

I can only imagine how hideous those bandanas are.

Is Tick Tock someone totally obvious that's going over my head? Poor RVD, it's 2002 with Goldust's return all over again.

I'm waiting for Paige to go full Carrie on all these bitches.

Even on NFA Breezango can't catch a break. I was just being petty cause they lost.

I thought Wolfgang was going to suggest they get married naked like Dawn Marie and Al Wilson.

Already more invested in Alexa vs Naomi than I was irl.

Poor Bayley getting Lita'd lol. Sable is ruthless. She probably liked that she can get away with fucking with the roster after she had to put up with our shit for 6 years.

Awww I was pulling for ZSJ to get the win. He had The Man's number.





For FNBF:

I can't wait to go to a midnight showing of Tomb Invader. I also wouldn't mind screening some of EC3's home videos (0 )(0 )

Of course Brandon waits until EC3 has mounted Miz to make his way out.

Poor Nikki. If that neck was 100% Nia woulda been up for a Rack Attack in no time.

I was half expecting Dana Brooke to channel Alicia Fox with a "You almost made him cry!" at Ellsworth.

Not the shade at Burke winning with a small package

Speaking of Alicia. How dare Nese put his hands on her man! Women standing up for their men seems to be a recurring theme on Friday nights. They weren't kidding when they called it bitch fight.

I'm kinda rooting for Dolph and Seth as disgruntled main eventers finding a spot on the show by coming together as one. Your very own Sheamus and Cesaro. If only real Dolph was as good as FNBF Dolph.

Jessie was an unbiased emcee, he used to knock knees with one of the contestants.

Brandon did that tho.

Thank god for those spanx tbh. Ain't nobody wanted to see that.

Oops at the board of directors. Can't say I'm surprised, tho. I still get headaches from November.

I knew Tiffany and Maryse couldn't ignore each other on the outside too long. There's only room for one HBIC on FNBF. I can't wait for the title match next week!

[Tarry]

I can't wait for Tomb Invader to hit theatres DVD. I hope there's a post-credits sequence that hints at a crossover with 18 Holes!

I'm glad Nia Jax and The Man are on separate shows, we'd all be in big trouble if the two of them ever teamed up.

I was gutted that Nikki couldn't overcome the odds.

Fat Camp is going to be incredible. The BP Network really is the place for must see TV.

Burke & Dana are relationship goals, to be honest.

Charlotte beating Sasha on TV and not PPV? This really is fan fiction.

I'm intrigued by Rollins and Ziggler, the first time I have been in years.

The Hot Body Contest is going down in history as one of the most iconic segments in BP history. Amazing.

Can't wait for the Universal Championship match next week!

[Tarry]

Welcome once again to the most exciting show on the BP Network! NFA's General Manager is standing by in the ring, so let's see what he has to say. "Lashley, Lashley, Lashley," Jayzero says in a condescending tone, "A couple of weeks ago you told me you quit, but then last week you showed up on NFA to attack members of my stable, so what is it? Are you employed by me or not? I'll answer that for you ... You are still a contracted talent, and due to you showing up on NFA last week, I've decided to decline your resignation. Now, let's be honest, you're obviously here tonight, so come on out here!" Lashley makes his way through the crowd and enters the ring. He squares up to our GM when he's suddenly attacked from behind with a chair by a hooded man. The mystery man traps Lashley's ankle in a chair and then stomps on, crushing Lashley's ankle. The hooded man looks over to Jayzero and removes his hood, revealing himself to be Jack Swagger! Swagger and Jayzero smirk at each other, before Swagger turns his attention back to Lashley. Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock making Lashley scream in agony. Jack Swagger finally releases the hold as EMTs rush to help Lashley. Jayzero grabs Jack Swagger by the wrist and raises his arm in the air. Did Jack Swagger just join Team Zero?

We have a dream match up next on NFA as Rob Van Dam takes on Johnny Mundo! RVD makes his way out first to a big pop. Out next is his opponent with The Worldwide Underground by his side, including the newest recruit, Tiarnán. The bell rings and the two men go at it, with Mundo surprisingly fighting within the rules. They exchange a variety of kicks and aerial moves, with every one being better than the last. Van Dam hits a superkick out of nowhere and capitalises by going up top for the Five Star Frogsplash. Taya jumps up on the apron grabbing the referee's attention, allowing PJ Black and Jack Evans to enter the ring. RVD jumps from the top rope and takes them out with a diving crossbody. Taya, still with the referee distracted, sees that the plan isn't working and gives Tiarnán a signal. He slides into the ring and reluctantly grabs hold of RVD. He plants him with the Reverse DDT and drags Mundo on top of him. The referee turns back around and counts the fall, awarding Johnny Mundo the victory. The Worldwide Underground leave the ring as Rob Van Dam starts to recover. RVD looks up at the titantron and sees the white rabbit yet again. "Follow the white rabbit," a voice whispers, as Van Dam looks even more confused than last week.

The stage becomes engulfed in flames as Kane makes his way to the ring. Kane enters the ring, but before he can say a word, he's immediately interrupted by Catrina and her procession. Mil Muertes enters the ring and goes nose to nose with Kane. Kane performs a cutthroat gesture as Muertes snarls in his face. All of a sudden, The Disciples of Death enter the ring and blindsight Kane. They hold Kane still allowing Mil Muertes to nail The Reaper's Trident, laying out Kane. Catrina enters the ring with a microphone, "Your match with Mil Muertes will be The Beginning of The End for you." She then drops to her knees and delivers the lick of death to the face of The Big Red Machine.

A local wrestler is in the ring and here comes her opponent, the NFA Women's Intercontinental Champion Bayley! The bell rings and Bayley uncharacteristically ignores her opponent's offer of a handshake, deciding to instead let out months worth of pent-up aggression on her. Bayley decks her opponent with a forearm and follows it up with the Bayley-to-Belly for the quick win. "Congratulations, Bayley!" Emma's voice rings out over the speakers as she emerges from behind the curtain, "I'd just like to take this moment to thank you for offering to put your title on the line against me at The Beginning of The End, and that gesture has had me thinking, maybe I owe you an apology. I'm sorry, Bayley, and to make it up to you, Sable and I have decided to set you up with one of our hottest friends. Sable, bring out Bayley's date for this evening!" Sable's music hits and she escorts the biggest, most rotund man I've ever seen in my life down to the ring. "Now Bayley, I know what you're thinking and I agree, he's way out of your league, but with a makeover you might just be the perfect fit for each other," Sable cackles as Bayley's "date" enters the ring. The "date" extends his arms, requesting a hug from Bayley. Bayley looks around at the NFA Universe, wanting their opinion, she must disagree with them though as she accepts the huge. No! Bayley lifts the guy up and plants him with the Bayley-to-Belly as Emma and Sable back away. Bayley raises her championship into the air, having sent a huge message to NFA queens of mean.

Zack Sabre Jr. is backstage stretching when General Manager Jayzero approaches, "Hey Zack, I just want to thank you for your performance last week, you were incredible." "Oh, no problem, that means a lot coming from you, boss," Sabre Jr. replies, humbled by the praise. "You took The Man to the limit, and that has given me the confidence to promote The Man vs. Finn Bálor for the NFA World Heavyweight Championship as the main event of The Beginning of The End, because if you almost managed to beat The Man, then Bálor definitely can, and that means I won't have to be embarrassed by hyping up a squash match as my main event. Anyway Zack, back to you, I've decided to reward you for your efforts by booking you in a match next week, and if you win that, you'll find yourself on the card at The Beginning of The End." Jayzero pats Zack Sabre Jr. on the back and the two part ways.

Fandango is in the ring dancing away as his tag team partner, Tyler Breeze, takes a selfie or two. And the crowd goes wild for his opponent, one half of the NFA Tag Team Champions, Cesaro! Cesaro makes his way down the aisle with his tag team partner Wolfgang and their soon to be wife, Jessica. Cesaro enters the ring and this one gets underway. Cesaro dominates Fandango, almost dislocating his jaw with uppercut after uppercut after uppercut! Cesaro makes the cover, but Breeze jumps up on the apron to stop the count. Fandango hits a low blow on Cesaro whilst the referee's back is turned, but Wolfgang is not letting Fandango steal the win! Wolfgang sets up for the Boomerang Clothesline, but Fandango ducks and Wolfgang damn near takes the head off of Cesaro by mistake! Tyler Breeze enters the ring as superkicks Wolfgang over the top rope as Fandango covers and picks up the big win over Cesaro. Breezango make their exit as Jessica sees to Cesaro. Wolfgang re-enters the ring and finds himself on the receiving end of the cold shoulder from Jessica and Cesaro. Cesaro and Jessica leave the ring hand in hand as Wolfgang follows behind them.

"TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELETE!" "TREASON!" "DELEEEEEEETE!" King Tarry and Broken Matt Hardy stare at each other, both them breathing uncomfortably heavily. "Broken Matt Hardy, by royal decree I say that you have two choices; Choice number one, you can leave here tonight and never come back, leaving your family in my custody forever, or choice number two, you stay with your family and become the royal stable boy! What shall it be?" Broken Matt Hardy looks as though he's about to kneel to King Tarry, but suddenly has second thoughts, "You've forgotten the third choice!" Broken Matt exclaims, "We duel on the night that The Start Finishes in the first ever King of the Compound match! Yeeesssss!" "At The Beginning of The End, you shall kneel before King Tarry, the King of the Compound, and the King of the Broken Universe!" Broken Matt Hardy stands before King Tarry with wide eyes and a large grin on his face, he extends his arms, and vanishes into thin air.

As we move closer to the NFA Women's Championship gauntlet, the division has really been heating up, which leads us to this Women's Division tag team match! Out first is Alexa Bliss, who many believe is the odds on favourite to win the title at The Beginning of The End. Her partner is Taya, and she makes her way out with The Worldwide Underground, who will no doubt by a factor in this match. Their opponents are the team of Naomi & Becky Lynch who receive a massive ovation from the NFA Universe. Taya teases starting the match with Naomi, but this is revealed to be a ruse that allows Alexa Bliss to attack Naomi from behind. Bliss sticks some stiff boots to the midsection of Naomi, causing the leader of the Naomob to roll around in agony. Alexa applies a Camel Clutch, looking for the early submission victory, but Becky Lynch runs in and kicks Alexa in the face, breaking the hold. Alexa tries to hit a forearm on Becky, but Becky counters with an Enziguri. Naomi kips up and hits the Rear View and rolls over to her corner to tag in Becky. Becky gives Alexa some space and encourages her to tag in Taya. Bliss tags Taya and here comes ¡La Wera Loca! Taya charges at Becky, but Becky is ready and trips Taya to the mat. Becky locks in the Dis-Arm-Her, but here come PJ Black and Jack Evans! They look as though they're about to attack Becky, so she releases the hold. All of a sudden, Tiarnán slides in and clotheslines Black and Evans over the top rope. The referee tries to get the situation under control and turns his back on the action in the ring. "I'm sorry," Tiarnán says before grabbing hold of Becky Lynch and driving her to the mat with the Reverse DDT, he then shoves Naomi off the apron, allowing Taya to make the cover to win the match for her team. After the match, Tiarnán leaves the ring with The Worldwide Underground as a shocked Becky Lynch recovers.

We see The Man walking backstage on his way to the ringside area when he's attacked with a chair from behind. The assault results in the cameraman being knocked on his ass. We hear the attack continue, with sound of steel on flesh echoing throughout the hallway. The cameraman recovers and pans the camera up, revealing the NFA World Heavyweight Champion Finn Bálor as the assailant. Bálor points a finger gun at the head of The Man before striking him with the chair once again, bending it over his skull. Bálor pops the collar of his leather jacket and walks off.

It's now time for our main event! Roderick Strong makes his way to the ring representing Team Zero, but his tag team partner is nowhere to be seen. His opponents, The Predators make their way down the ramp when they're suddenly attacked from behind by Pentagon Jr. Pentagon wails on Randy Orton and Baron Corbin with a kendo stick, as referees and security rush out to put a stop to his attack. "Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has awarded this match to The Predators as a result of a disqualification!" Melissa Santos announces to the delight of the NFA Universe. "Not so fast!" Jayzero shouts as he marches to the ring, "Pentagon Jr. was not Roderick Strong's assigned tag team partner tonight, and was not out here to act on Team Zero's behalf, so in the interest of fairness I'm overturning the referee's decision and I'm ordering that this match goes ahead as planned." The Predator's are helped to the ring as Roderick Strong feigns concern for his opponents. "Introducing Roderick Strong's tag team partner, the newest member of the ever growing Team Zero - Drew Galloway!" Galloway makes his way to the ring, stopping to shake Jayzero's hand, he then slides in and nails Baron Corbin with the Future Shock to pick up the win. "NFA Universe, your new #1 Contenders to the NFA Tag Team Championships, Team Zero!" Jayzero declares as he raises the hands of Drew and Roderick. Pentagon makes his way back to the ring, looking like he's about to kill Team Zero, but his grimace becomes a sick smile as Jayzero hands him a wad of cash, as it becomes ridiculously obvious that this was all planned from the start. Team Zero pose in the ring as we go off the air.

[Burke]

Oh, so Jayzero will hire another of my Marty Jannetty's but wouldn't sign me when I was out of work following the draft.

The dialogue between Broken Matt and King Tarry is my favourite thing each week.

What a bitch Bayley is. I'd like to think that poor hideous man genuinely thought he had a date and got beaten up for his enthusiasm.

[Brandon]

Not Jack Swagger! One show's trash is another show's treasure, I suppose. 🚮

I actually do bet RVD vs. Johnny Mundo would be an amazing match. Did they ever wrestle in WWE? I hope this 🐇 thing ends with RVD high as balls, hallucinating some Alice in Wonderland shit.

Catrina's PPV pun was actually pretty cool. At the next joint PPV, there should be some sort of interaction between her and Tiffany, or her and Maryse.

I see Wolfgang is getting cucked tonight. Literally.

Not the royal stable boy! 💀 I feel like I'm the one who's high as balls after reading that.

Damn, I've never given it much thought, but picturing them side by side, Taya is kinda like the Great Value version of Alexa Bliss, huh? 💀

I was about to shout, "Yasss, Tiarnán!" but never mind. ⚰️

So the board of directors are all up in my Kool-Aid, but never have anything to say about Jayzero, who's orchestrating attacks and overturning matches.



Aww, believe it or not, I'm glad Drew is gonna be used. Reliving old NFA storylines the other day made me realize he was always a pretty big part of it. Not John Cena or Kelly Kelly levels, but still. And it makes sense Jayzero would want to align with him. Since he can't reunite BurkeZero, he may as well go for the next best thing. 🤷

[Brandon]

Mar 15, 2017 12:04:39 GMT -5 Burke said:

What a bitch Bayley is. I'd like to think that poor hideous man genuinely thought he had a date and got beaten up for his enthusiasm.

He was probably portrayed by that Killian Dain guy from NXT who MC posted a pic of a couple of weeks ago.

[Burke]

Poor RVD's brain is probably fried from years of weed and chairshots and thinks the rabbit is Jesus reincarnated or something.

[Brandon]

    Friday Night Bitch Fight kicks off with Brandon's theme hitting, and the General Manager makes his way down to the ring with Summer Rae. Brandon requests a mic and steps to the center of the ring, sighing before speaking into it. He says that after getting physical with Kevin Owens last week, while already being on probation since Bragging Rights, the board of directors have been debating all week long about how to discipline him, and unfortunately, earlier today, they decided it would be best to let him go as General Manager, to prevent any further indiscretions. The audience boos, and Brandon is visibly disappointed as well. "Before I go, I just wanted a chance to come out and say good-" he begins to say, before being interrupted by Kevin Owen's theme. Brandon looks to the stage in confusion, and Owens comes out, looking happier than ever before snatching Lilian Garcia's microphone and addressing the BP Universe himself. "That's great Brandon. You're already missed." Owens says, chuckling to himself. "But don't worry, I'm sure your former assistant is going to prove to be a worthy successor." he says, looking past Brandon to Summer Rae, who smirks at him. "After all, it was she who orchestrated your demise." Owens tells him. Brandon furrows his brow, looking to Summer like he's not following, and she snatches the mic from his hand. "Oh, poor, stupid, Brandon." Summer sympathetically says. "Remember several months back, when I offered you my services after Jayzero turned them down? Well, plot twist: he didn't." Summer reveals. Brandon's jaw drops, but his eyes remain narrowed in anger. "That's right," Summer smirks. "I've been Jayzero's spy all along. I tipped him off on the deal you offered Emma so he could top it. I fed him information about your Bragging Rights teams so he could pick better ones. And I even advised Kevin here to provoke you last week, because I wanted you fired just as badly as he did." she says, sharing a laugh with Owens. "Oh, and best of all? I've been wearing a wire since I interviewed for the job, and earlier this week, I helped the board of directors make up their mind by sending them a little tape of everything you've had to say about them." Summer reveals. Again, Brandon touches his fingers to his lips in an oops expression, remembering all to clearly what that would entail. "And now? I'm next in line to be the General Manager of Friday Night Bitch Fight. A job you groomed me for yourself, never once suspecting that Jayzero and I were working together to destroy you from the inside. And it worked!" Summer beams, like even she can't believe they pulled it off. Behind Brandon, KO applauds her. "Team Zero now controls both shows! Not even a McMahon could have pulled this off." Summer laughs. And then, right on cue, Shane McMahon's theme hits! The audience screams, and slowly, Summer Rae turns to the stage to see him dance out; the smug expression gone from her face. After pandering to the crowd, Shane sets his sights on the ring, and makes his way down to join them. "You sure about that last part?" Shane simply asks Summer, earning a pop from the audience. Summer looks around angrily at them, but Shane continues. He says that he's sorry to disappoint her - and Kevin - but she's not the new General Manager of FNBF. He is. Shane reveals that the board of directors called him up this afternoon and asked if he'd be interested in taking over for Brandon, who they were unfortunately letting go, and he had them send a private jet immediately. And after what he just heard, he's going to make his first act as General Manager, and that's to re-hire Brandon as a wrestler. Behind him, Brandon beams with relief, and the audience cheers. "And my second act..." Shane teases, turning slowly to Summer Rae, milking the audience's reaction. "In the words of my father, you're fired." Shane tells her. "You!" Summer screeches, pointing across the ring at Brandon. She screams shrilly and charges at him, but Brandon falls to the mat and pulls the middle rope down, sending Summer tumbling to the outside. She pops back up to her feet with her eyes set on Brandon and Shane, but before she can do anything, security appears on either side of her and grab her by the arms. "Get your hands off of me!" Summer shrieks, kicking her long legs the entire way up the ramp, while Brandon picks up her mic and leads the audience in singing her out with, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." Once Summer has been removed from the arena, Shane turns his attention to Brandon and Owens, and the blonde slowly stops singing, before averting his gaze and dropping his mic by his side. "And one more thing." Shane tells them. "Next week, you two," he says, pointing between them. "Will settle your differences once and for all... in a street fight." Again, Brandon beams, happy to be getting his hands on Owens - and also for not being in trouble. "I know a little something about those." Shane adds in good humor. The new GM invites Brandon to leave the ring, and as they turn their backs on him, Owens cheap shots Brandon, knocking him to the mat. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Shane says, breaking things up before Owens can go any further, kneeling down to check on Brandon. Owens is satisfied with the damage he's done though, and rolls out of the ring. After all, he'll be able to inflict plenty of damage on Brandon next week. But for now, it's his turn to leave the ring with a smile, and Brandon assures Shane he's okay as we fade to commercial.

    After our break, we're shown a video package of John Cena hosting the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards last weekend. Nikki Bella even joins him on-stage, but as the couple are taking a selfie with all of the kids in the front, they're interrupted by The Miz and Maryse. The Miz says that he should have been the host of the Kids' Choice Awards. After all, he's the movie star. All the kids in the audience boo, and Cena shrugs, like the tribe has spoken. The Miz ignores them, and says that speaking of his movie, Tomb Invader comes out in two weeks, so all the kids need to tell their parents to buy it for them. At this, Nikki furrows her brow. "Isn't there a love scene in that?" she asks, finding that a tad inappropriate. "So?" The Miz asks. "These kids know what sex is." And yet, they all gasp at his use of the s-word. "Oh, grow up!" The Miz impatiently shouts. "How do you think you all got here?" he asks. "Hey, boys and girls, I've got an idea!" Cena interjects. "Who wants to beat up The Miz?!" The kids all cheer and flood the stage, surrounding The Miz. Maryse backs away as he's swarmed, unsure of what to do, and unwittingly, she walks right into position for Nikki to pull the lever to slime her, and Maryse screams as she's sprayed with green goo. The Miz, whose taken the fetal position, finally breaks away from the crowd and grabs her wrist, and hand-in-hand they flee the stage, while Cena and Nikki hug and share a laugh at their expense.

    Speaking of Nikki Bella, the Women's Champion's theme hits, and it's time for women's tag team action. She's followed by her partner, Sasha Banks, and then, Nia Jax and Charlotte Flair. Charlotte sits back and directs traffic while Nia dominates their opponents, but it doesn't take Nikki and Sasha long to mount a double-team comeback. Nia charges at Nikki, but Nikki ducks and Nia hits the ropes, where Charlotte makes the blind tag. Nikki then hits a low dropkick on Nia, knocking her on her face, and locks in the Fearless Lock with the BP Universe strongly behind her, but the referee is trying to explain that Nia isn't the legal competitor when Charlotte strikes from out of nowhere with the Natural Selection, pinning the Women's Champion for the one-two-three. While Charlotte and Nia celebrate up the ramp, the official and Sasha check on Nikki, who's once again favoring her neck.

    Backstage, Ariane Andrew is standing by with Ethan Carter III and Tiffany, who are preparing for their mixed tag match later. Ariane starts by reminding EC3 that his Universal Championship is on the line tonight, and asks him how he feels about the possibility that his fiancée could lose the title for him, especially considering that, while Tiffany is a former Women's Champion, she's not an active in-ring competitor. Before EC3 can answer, Tiffany holds her hand up. "I got this." she tells him. Tiffany looks into the camera and calls out Maryse. She says she knows that English isn't her first language, so she wants her to pay close attention to what she's about to say. "Do you see this?" Tiffany then asks Ariane, holding the back of her hand out in front of the camera and wiggling her manicured fingers to show off her enormous engagement ring. "It's a 29-carat, internally flawless, fancy-vivid diamond in the extremely rare whore cute, which is the preferred cut for mistresses of Russian billionaires. It's so heavy, it comes with its own chiropractor on call, has a built-in LoJack system, and its own WiFi hot spot. If Maryse gets in that ring with me tonight, I'm going to backhand her back to the Third World country she came from with it." Tiffany promises. "You mean Canada?" Ariane asks, blinking incredulously. Impatiently, Tiffany turns on the interviewer and huffs. "Like. I. Said." she tells her. From behind Tiffany, EC3 spins her around. "You are so hot when you're angry." he tells her, before dipping her and shoving his tongue down her throat. Tiffany reciprocates his kiss, while Ariane watches the couple make out, before turning to the camera. "Back to you guys." she says to the announcers, looking as if she's gonna be sick.

    Next up, Tony Nese puts his Cruiserweight Championship on the line against Noam Dar, who's accompanied to the ring by Alicia Fox, and he isn't the least bit concerned. But perhaps he should have been, because while Nese is busy flexing for Alicia Fox again, Noam takes advantage of his arrogance and rolls him up for the win! Nese argues with the official after he awards Noam with the Cruiserweight title, while Noam asks for a mic to dedicate his big win to, "the beautiful Alicia Fooooooox." Who's so happy she covers his face in red kiss prints.

    Next, we cut to the back, where Burke and Dana Brooke, and Carmella and James Ellsworth, are standing on either side of Shane McMahon. "See? Right there!" Carmella says during a replay of Burke low blowing Ellsworth last week. "Do you see what he did to poor Jimmy?" Carmella says, babying Ellsworth. "Man," Burke grimaces. "He ain't got nothin' down there but a mangina no way!" Dana snickers, which angers Carmella. "It was her fault!" she tells Shane, pointing out that it was Dana's interference that distracted the ref in the first place. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! My Cuddle Cakes doesn't need any help to beat Chicken Little over there." Dana clarifies, pointing to Ellsworth. Behind her, Burke nods in agreement. Soon both couples are shouting over one another, until Shane silences them with a proposal. He says that next week, since Dana wants to get involved so badly, she can wrestle Carmella one-on-one, and Carmella can use the opportunity to avenge her boyfriend. "He's not my boyfriend!" Carmella corrects the GM, choosing to ignore Burke and Dana's giggles. "Capiche?" she rhetorically asks. "My apologies." Shane smiles, clearly amused with himself. This pleases Dana, who tells Carmella to have fun with her little boy toy, because next week, play time is over. Dana then pats Carmella on the head, causing her to grimace, before strutting off. Burke begins to follow, but pauses to give Carmellsworth a once over. "Pssh!" he rolls his eyes before walking out of frame as well. Shane and Carmellsworth share a look, but the General Manager can only shrug in regards to Burke.

    Elsewhere backstage, Jason is getting ready for action, and we see him pulling his knee pads on when Chad Gable approaches. "Hey," he greets his boyfriend with a nod. "You sure you're up for this? I don't wanna see you get hurt either." he says with concern. Jason assures Gable that he doesn't need to worry about him. "You've got more important things to focus on tonight. Like evening the score." Jason tells him. Gable smiles and nods in agreement, before taking Jason's hand and leading him to guerrilla.

    After another break, we're shown a replay from last week, of Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler's attack on American Alpha and Jason, and we return to find the culprits already in the ring. While Tom Phillips explains that Jason Jordan is at home because he wasn't cleared to compete tonight, American Alpha's theme hits, and Chad Gable and Jason make their way out on stage, before breaking into a sprint towards the ring. Soon both teams are brawling, but the referee gets things under control and Jason and Seth Rollins take their places on the ring apron. The team of Rollins and Ziggler are able to isolate Gable in their corner, where they stay in control for the majority of the match, but eventually Gable is able to reverse an O'Connor roll from Ziggler into a German suplex, and both men crawl to their corners, looking to make the hot tag. Jason and Rollins both have their arms outstretched to receive it, but as Gable gets closer, Jason slowly pulls away, until he's standing on the ring apron looking down at Gable with utter contempt, who in turn is looking up at Jason in confusion. Behind them, Ziggler makes the tag, and Rollins hits a Superkick on Gable. Rollins and Jason share a grin - a look that Rollins doesn't break as he covers Gable for the one-two-three. When the match is over, Ziggler enters the ring and tries to double high-five Rollins, but Rollins just stares at him in return. Slowly, realization dawns on Ziggler, and his excited expression begins to fade away, as Jason enters the ring and stands behind him. Rollins kicks Ziggler in the stomach, and Jason drops him with a Raindrop. With both Ziggler and Gable lying at their feet, Rollins pulls Jason close and the two engage in a sloppy French kiss. This was all a damn ruse! Jason set American Alpha up, and Rollins used Ziggler like a pawn. Why, dammit?! Why?! *JR voice*

    It's now time for Ethan Carter III and Tiffany to defend the Universal Championship against The Miz and Maryse, and the challengers make their way to the ring first, followed by EC3 and Tiffany. Since neither Tiffany or Maryse are active competitors, they both take their places on the ring apron, allowing their men to start the match. When EC3 starts to get the upper hand, The Miz runs to his corner and tags out to his wife, who enters the ring and struts up to the Universal Champion. Knowing he wont do anything to her, Maryse gives EC3 a once over and laughs, and he just shrugs, wondering what it is she's gonna do. And she answers by rearing back and slapping him across the face! The Miz laughs from the safety of his corner, but EC3 takes a moment to collect himself, then looks over his shoulder at Tiffany - who ducks under the middle rope and charges at Maryse! Maryse dives out of the ring and runs around it with Tiffany in pursuit, before sliding back inside and nearly running into EC3. Maryse holds her hands up in defense and turns around, where Tiffany tackles her and a catfight ensues. The Miz re-enters the ring and tries to break them up, but gets steamrolled for his troubles. Then EC3 throws him to the outside, leaving the women in the ring. Tiffany pulls Maryse to her feet, but Maryse doubles her over with a knee to the abdomen. "Uh oh! Tiffany's done it now!" Corey Graves notes as Maryse slams Tiffany to the mat with a forward Russian legsweep, delivering a kick to her ribs. "She's vexed Mrs. Miz!" After Maryse throws Tiffany around the ring by her weave, The Miz re-enters the fray, having gotten away from EC3, and Maryse calls him over to double-team Tiffany. The couple prepare to double suplex her, but before they can, EC3 slides into the ring and kicks The Miz in the gut, and instead, it's he and Tiffany who double suplex The Miz and Maryse! The Miz and Maryse crawl to opposite corners and use the ropes to pull themselves up, and EC3 and Tiffany stand back to back in the center of the ring, waiting for them to get into position before hitting dual EC3 Splashes! The Miz slumps down in his corner, while Maryse stumbles out of hers, and Tiffany hits her with a drop toe-hold, causing her to headbutt The Miz between the legs! The Miz cradles his crotch and rolls out of the ring, and Maryse cups her hands over her mouth in horror at what she's done. Behind her, Tiffany breaths on her engagement ring and shines it against her breast, and Maryse turns around into the strongest backhand Tiffany can muster, causing Maryse to twirl theatrically to the mat. She even sells it by going to sit up, before falling sprawled out unconscious on the canvas, and Tiffany covers her for the one-two-three. EC3's music hits and he picks Tiffany up, spinning her around while she wraps her legs around him and they kiss in celebration. When they break their kiss, EC3 calls for a mic and takes Tiffany's hand, kneeling before her. "You have never looked more smokin' hot to me than you look right now." EC3 tells her, a wild look in his eyes. Tiffany giggles, blushing slightly. EC3 says that if they weren't already engaged, he'd propose to her right now. But since they are, how about they move the wedding up to next week instead? "Next week?!" Tiffany laughs, cupping her free hand over her mouth. "Fine, two weeks then. I just wanna make you Mrs. EC3 as soon as possible." he says. Tiffany looks around to the audience, before shrugging and saying, what the hell? EC3 grins excitedly, before standing up and pulling Tiffany into another kiss in the center of the ring. These two will get married, live in two weeks!