NFA/FNBF 2017

[Brandon]

NFA:

Not you throwing Summer Rae under the bus and firing her for all your mistakes. 😟 I wonder who you've got in store to be the new GM? 🤔

Kevin Owens and Shayna Baszler appeared to be on the same page because they both look like missing links.



I wonder if anyone is going to have Becky Lynch's back in her rematch with Ronda Rousey? 👀

Nov 29, 2017 15:08:45 GMT -5 Tarry said:

"I will crown you!" King Tarry shouts, channelling iconic 90s wrestling superstar Jimmy King.

Booty Strong Style. 💀 Add Naomi and I and it's a STABLE, mawma.

Tyler Bate has only been in BPW this year and he's already collecting ACCOLADES. That will continue in 2018.



Alexa Bliss's mind is still riddled from that brainwashing she received at the hands of Paul London, I see.



Bitch. I'm not kidding you. I was sitting here, casually reading the main event as I sipped my coffee, and then as I was raising my mug to take a drink, I froze with my mouth hanging open because Mil ended the streak. I'm literally SHOCKED right now.



The Man's streak has gone on for so long that it didn't even occur to me it would end tonight, but I actually think it was amazing to do it on NFA - and on the last show of the year, at that. Woooow. I really can't wait to see what the new year brings for NFA now. Your writing is at the best it's ever been.

[Brandon]

FNBF:

Do people compare Seth Rollins to Jeff Hardy? Lol. I've never heard that. But awright, Burke. I see you doing your thing with that Seth promo. Go off.

Nnnn, Jeff's dialogue though. I see why you keep having people you're not comfortable writing getting interrupted.

I've repeatedly asked you to re-establish Seth and Jason's relationship, and this week you didn't even have Jason come out with him. 💀💀💀

I loved the handicap match. This is the kinda fantasy booking I'm here for - the stuff we're not gonna get on TV.

So, you, knowing I'm gonna use PornHub in February, say on your last FNBF that we lost them as a sponsor? Bitch, if I ever see you on the streets I'm lighting your ass up. Ain't gon be no words, bih.

Me @ my past self for suggesting this flop EnD reunion.



Now you've just moved all of the dialogue you used to give me onto Sasha lmao. But I'm afraid I can't comment on the rest because six sentences in and you wont stop talking about actual, literal, SHIT and I'm disgusted.

Dec 1, 2017 14:38:27 GMT -5 Burke said:

Cena extends his hand and says they should do this again sometime.

Dec 1, 2017 14:38:27 GMT -5 Burke said:

“You’re just another mediocre talent bitter that they couldn’t cut it in the big leagues? And the big bad McMahons are all to blame. Boo hoo.”

lol this must have felt cathartic to you after all the young guys who've come forward to talk about what a piece of shit he is.

Luckily, they'll all get to see EC3 end his career at Hardcore XXXmas 3D. 🌝



Hardcore XXXmas 3D:

First things first, let me go ahead and take credit for giving you the idea to have Ariane channel Wendy Williams:

Dec 3, 2017 11:05:04 GMT -5 Burke said:

“What are you doing?! This is not conduct befitting of you, Father.”

Lmfaooo. The fact that I could hear this and picture her reaction made it so much better.

Tony Nese in that eggnog match.

Dec 3, 2017 11:05:04 GMT -5 Burke said:

[Miz] promises that his son will see him win the Universal Championship next year.

Daughter.



Whelp. Jason is back to being the jobber he was before I turned him heel. It only took you three months!

I can't tell if The Revival are heels or faces.



What can I say about Emma vs. Paige with Dana Brooke suspended above the ring in a shark cage? I... gowns, beautiful gowns...



Drunken Laurel saved this feud from being total filler. But I think you meant that she got a Weapon of Ass Destruction instead of an Asstastic. The Asstastic is a stink face. I've been using it for, oh, about five years, and you've taken about 500 of them. So, you know. That's the kinda thing the person writing may want to know.



Not an Escalade! 💀 Sasha ringing the ring bell in Tiffany's ear and elbowing that fan. 💀 Sasha ripping the Tiffany sign up and cramming it in Tiffany's mouth and taking a selfie on that fan's phone lmfaoo. I'm taking credit for Coochiecanrana, too. It's an ode to Francine, one of the Tiffany charater's many inspirations. <3 Oh, EC3 directly won the match for her. 😐 Aside from that, you really put your foot in this match. Say what I will about your writing (and bitch, I got a LOT to say), you can write a fucking match. Probably best of all of us, and this was a shining example.

I'm glad Jeff won because truth be told Seth should have never won the title back from EC3 anyways, but that's okay because I've got some plans in mind for Jeff. I'm just sorry you felt the need to do... everything you've done to Jason along the way.



Burke, not these damn matches cutting from one to the other with no backstage segments or anything in between. Reading like one of my old XPW DVDs. 💀

Well Ember won and I'm ecstatic for that, but I'm gonna refrain on The Iconic Duo's booking for the past three months.



I know you didn't try to come for EC3's looks lmao. The difference between he and Triple H is, the rest of him actually looks good.



Tiffany being scared of Stephanie.



Um what is your problem with Dixie lol. You constantly throw her in to get physically abused and do nothing more. It's kinda weird. 😳

Sasha's presence in the main event. It's still too soon, but if you hadn't covered her in shit just a week before this I might have stanned.

OMG! I can't believe you had EC3 do Vince like that! How symbolic.

Another spectacular match. And you know what? Even though there were no hardcore matches at Hardcore XXXmas, nor was it Christmas themed in the least aside from Ariane's costume and the eggnog match, both of which I'm responsible for, it was a pretty solid show. And a great note to end on, because you wont everrrr get your hands on my show again.

[Tarry]

First of all, please tell me why you saved the logo I made and reuploaded it as a low quality jpeg. That looks horrible.

I had a feeling it was B who suggested having Ariane reenact Wendy Williams fainting, lol

Did you forget to write mistletoe into that interaction between Father William and Sister Taryn, or did you just straight up book yourself to sexually harass her? 💀

Right, so I know you had to write the eggnog match at the last second, but it was still a little disappointing. It has nothing on the Best of 3 Series between Wolfgang and Cesaro that featured a Tuxedo Match, a Pudding Match, and a Lingerie Pillow Fight, lol

Why on Earth did The Miz and John Cena shake hands? lol. I automatically assumed that that segment would get heated and The Miz would end up challenging Cena for the title in an impromptu match.

For everything I did wrong whilst booking Jayzero and Tiarnán's post-SummerMania careers, at least I never made them jobbers. And as weird as Jayzero's faux face turn ended up being, at least he never fucked a title belt. For this match, I really wish you had just had Jason use his brain and forfeit the match via count out. Jason's always looked better in red anyway.

I wanted The Revival to win this so FNBF's tag division could prosper. Breezango have been fun and all, but I feel they've gone as far as they can as champions. Fingers crossed The Revival bounce back in the new year and get the job done.

At least the ending to the Shark Cage match was original 💀 What is it with you and gross bodily functions though?

I can't believe after everything that's happened in the Billy/Brandon/Laurel storyline, it ended with a tag match featuring American Alpha, lol. I wish you had just had Brandon vs. Laurel in a Tuxedo/Wedding Dress match with Billy Gunn as the guest referee. Why did American Alpha help Laurel anyway?

How did you go and book Father William with an undefeated streak too? When I debuted King Tarry, he lost the Cruiserweight Championship in his very first match, lol. Father William should have been the most festive character on the show, how did you not have him preach the Nativity Story. I hope 2018 is the year Tiarnán finally names his Dragon Sleeper.

Dec 3, 2017 11:05:04 GMT -5 Burke said:

Tiffany makes her entrance surrounded by a large team of security that makes Goldberg’s old entrance look tame.

His old entrance? The man performed that very entrance on PPV last week, cut him some slack 💀

The line about Eddie Guerrero rolling in his grave/Tiffany rolling on the floor in agony was hilarious. As was Tiffany getting caught up in the moment and taking a swig of a fan's drink. I know you said obese fan, but I hope it was actually Randy from Trailer Park Boys who was planted in the audience:


Both of them snatching that poor old man's crutches was amazing. I hope he wasn't sitting down and was actually returning from the bathroom. That would have been something straight out of Mr. Bean. That tribute to Francine, lol. I don't think the match needed blood, to be honest, but I'm just going to assume they were accidental nosebleeds rather than blade jobs. That match was perfect until EC3 won the match for Tiffany? Why do you do this?

Three things about the Universal Championship match. 1) You really should have made it a Miracle on 34th Street Fight to go with the Hardcore XXXmas theme. 2) I can't believe you had Jason come out so Jeff could basically beat them both. You do realise that they're coming to NFA in the new year? I really have my work cut out with trying to reverse the damage you've done to them, lol. 3) WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE THE SWANTON FROM THE TITANTRON FOR THE PPV?

At least Ember represented the theme with those Krampus horns. I'm glad she finally won the title, I'm excited to see what's next for her. The Iconic Duo's reign as co-holders of the FNBF Women's Championship was a really good idea on paper, but I think you not being a regular viewer of NXT let you down when writing their segments. I wouldn't have done any better though, lol.

EC3's nose is tiny compared to Triple H's, what are you doing? Damn, Triple H's matches go too long in BPW too. The match being a complete McMahon-Fest was such a throwback to the year 2000. I love how Vince returned with no mention of his previous run in BPW (and rightfully so, lol). I am so glad EC3 won, because if you had ended the year with a Triple H victory I would have been so mad.

My only real complaint with the show is that it wasn't festive enough. I would have loved a Miracle on 34th Street Fight, or for Father William to do something that tied into the story of Christmas, or for some Superstars to exchange gifts in a backstage segment (preferably featuring John Cena gifting the TV Championship to a young talent who he hasn't buried yet). Thank you for spending the last few months writing FNBF though. I know how hard it can be to write these shows, especially when you have to book wrestlers who you're not really a fan of, whilst also trying to not overpush people just because you are a fan of them (you failed at that part). You did a good job overall.