Man Breaks Plate Across Partner's Face Over Music

[Burke]

Florida Teen Caught Posing As A Gynecologist For A Month

WEST PALM BEACH, FL. (WTNH) – West Palm Beach police busted a teen who had been posing as an OB/GYN doctor at a hospital for about a month. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports that police were called to St. Mary’s Medical Center last Tuesday, after a patient alerted the OB/GYN office staff that a young man who “appeared to be a child” was dressed as a doctor inside an exam room.

The teen, who was not identified, was then caught by police while in an examination room with a patient, wearing a lab coat with the hospital’s logo, a stethoscope around his neck and mask on his face. The teen reportedly told police that he had been a doctor for years and that his family could vouch for him. According to the police report, a hospital security guard said that he had seen the boy around the hospital for about a month. Another security guard told police that she saw him enter secure areas in the past week. Security footage also showed the teen entering the hospital through the lobby.

The teen’s mother told police that he has been under the care of a doctor for an undisclosed illness and has not been taking his medication. The hospital has agreed to not press charges saying in a statement: “The individual never had contact with any hospital patients and did not gain access to any patient care areas of the hospital at any time. The hospital immediately notified local authorities, who took the individual into custody, and we are cooperating with their ongoing investigation.” The incident is under investigation.

[Mutant Couch]

Man-On-Dolphin Sex Documentary Makes Big Splash At Film Festival

Malcolm Brenner claims that, in 1970, he had a "consensual sexual relationship" with a dolphin named Dolly, whom he met at a Florida amusement park, when he was taking photographs for a children's book.

Now his disturbing story is the subject of a documentary.

"Dolphin Lover" debuted last week at the Slamdance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.

Brenner, now 63, was 18 years old when he met Dolly at the dolphin show of the now-defunct Floridaland. He speaks of his time with the aquatic mammal as if it were a romance, and not an act of bestiality, enraging animal rights advocates.

“At first I discouraged her, I wasn't interested. After some time I thought, 'If this was a woman, would I come up with these rationalizations and excuses?’” Brenner told the New York Daily News.

"There's something quite transcendental about making love with a dolphin."

"She would thrust herself against me," he told The Huffington Post in 2011, after he wrote a book about Dolly. He claims she became more gentle during their nine-month affair.

John Goodwin, the director of Animal Cruelty Policy at The Humane Society of the United States, hasn't seen "Dolphin Lover," but finds Brenner's claims disturbing.

"Every pervert claims their victims consented," he told HuffPost. "Sex with an animal can't be done without hurting the animal."

In the film, Brenner explicitly explains how he and Dolly engaged in intercourse and it is depicted with animation.

"I started rubbing her along her back, working my way to her flukes –- her tail. And as I was rubbing her and moving my hand towards her tail, Dolly was slowly rolling around her long axis."

Brenner told HuffPost his affair with Dolly ended when Floridaland was closed so the land could be used for housing.
He said Dolly was shipped off to an oceanarium in Gulfport, Mississippi, and died nine months later.

Brenner wrote a 2011 novel about the experience, "Wet Goddess," and was then contacted by documentarians Kareem Tabsch and Joey Daoud.

"I sensed that they took me seriously. However, what really convinced me was when Kareem said, 'I believe you were in love with her,'" he told Miami New Times.

Since Dolly is obviously unavailable for comment, the film only tells Brenner's side of the story. Tabsch said the original plan was to interview sex experts, animal rights activists and marine biologists and get their viewpoints.

"But what they had to offer was 'normative,'" he told HuffPost. "They didn't add anything that people didn't already know. It just reconfirmed what most people already believe."

Whether the events happened exactly as Brenner remembers will never be proven, but Daoud says the fact Brenner is willingly telling the story says something about its veracity.

“Obviously, when he actually has sex with the dolphin, and it’s just him and the dolphin, there really is no way to corroborate that. But it’s kind of like, why would you want to lie about something like that and go with it for 40 years and make sacrifices?” Daoud told Fusion.net.

"Dolphin Lover" will play additional festivals in the coming year before its eventual online release.

Goodwin fears the film's tone and the use of animation to depict the sex between dolphin and human will give people the impression that it's OK.

"Anything that attempts to normalize bestiality is something we should never tolerate," he said.

Anyone else assuming that this also went down with Burke while he was in Florida?

[Brandon]

Feb 3, 2015 17:14:05 GMT -5 Mutant Couch said:

Anyone else assuming that this also went down with Burke while he was in Florida?

Without a doubt.

And no shade but if Wet Goddess wasn't on your 'to read' list before, I'm betting it is now.

[Mutant Couch]

Florida Man Robbed At Gunpoint For 32 Packs Of Starburst Candy

A man in Bradenton, Florida, indicated to local law enforcement that he had been robbed of 32 packages of Starburst candy by three gunmen on Saturday at 8:41 p.m.

The alleged candy thieves pulled alongside the victim in a black sedan while he was walking down the street and jumped out of the vehicle, displaying handguns. The suspects then ordered the victim to get on the ground and empty his pockets. After stealing his candy, one of the suspects allegedly pistol-whipped the victim in the back of the head with a handgun.

The attack took place in the 900 block of 19th Street Court East as the victim was walking south.

The Bradenton Herald reported that the victim’s family had taken him to Manatee Memorial Hospital on 2nd Street East. The hospital offers urgent care, surgery, and outpatient care.

On a related note my uncle once got mugged for Little Debbie snack cakes. It was in Ohio though.

[Burke]

www.tmz.com/2015/04/08/kim-kardashian-kanye-west-restraining-order-prison-inmate-florida/

Florida Sex Offender Doesn’t Want Kim & Kanye Ruining His Great State



Kim Kardashian and Kanye West must be stopped at the Florida border, because they're nothing but wannabe Jay Z's and Beyonce's ... according to a prisoner who has taken his cause to court.

Wayne Albright -- who's been locked up since 2000 for attempted sexual assault -- claims Florida needs protection from the couple he calls "Meat Whistles" and "Moose Knuckles."

Albright shows abject contempt for the famous duo, declaring the only tolerable Kardashian is Rob, who's "eating himself out of house and home, no doubt from the shame he feels as a result of what Kim has done to the Kardashian name."

The prisoner is specifically targeting Kim and Kanye from stepping foot in Florida, and he wants to "ban these two Moose Knuckles from appearing on any television programs aired in the state of Florida, unless it's Court TV and they're on trial for posing as a famous couple."

Albright seeks a temporary restraining order, telling the judge, "You have your work cut out for you ... so what do you say? Make us all proud."

[Brandon]

And this is a fine example of your typical Beyhive member.

[Burke]

Florida Man Dies After Getting Stuck in Girlfriend's Cat Door

A woman in Florida made a startling discovery over the weekend when she found her boyfriend stuck in her house’s cat door, News4Jax.com reported.

The girlfriend of Charles Tucker Jr., 33, had reportedly kicked him out of her St. Augustine home. Hours later, she found the man stuck in the small door and called police. When they arrived four minutes later, the man was dead, News4Jax.com reported.

"He's a big guy. I don't even know how he could fit through there," Tucker’s friend, Will Elliot told News4Jax.com. "Probably to get in and unlock the door. They said he had one arm through there and his head was caught in there like he was to reach up and unlock the door because there's no way he could fit through there."

Cops are currently awaiting autopsy results.

www.foxnews.com/story/2007/11/13/man-dies-after-getting-stuck-in-girlfriendrsquos-cat-door.html

[Brandon]

Fox News. Florida. The flag. Everything about this is a damn mess.

[Brandon]

- Alligator kills Florida burglary suspect hiding from cops

A suspected burglar jumped in a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach.

Source

Instant karma.

Not Florida's alligators serving more justice than their justice system, though.

[Burke]

Florida man files for restraining order against Ronda Rousey:

www.bloodyelbow.com/2016/1/7/10728210/crazy-handwritten-lawsuit-filed-against-ronda-rousey-ufc

The plaintiff alleges that there's evidence Rousey is a man who had penis enlargement, bought steroids from Barry Bonds, had a sex tape with Jon Jones, and that "Ron Rousey" was named after his real father, Ron Jeremy.

[Brandon]

Fort Lauderdale mom and son arrested for meth fueled shoplifting spree at the Dollar Tree

[Burke]

Florida woman taken to hospital with shark attached to arm



BOCA RATON — News reports say a 23-year-old woman was bitten by a small nurse shark in Boca Raton.

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported the woman was taken to the hospital by ambulance Sunday with the shark still attached to her arm.

A spokesperson for the Boca Raton Ocean Rescue told the newspaper the woman remained calm and there was a little blood. A splint board was used to support the woman’s arm and the shark as she lay on the stretcher.

The Boca Raton Regional Hospital operator told the AP that the woman had been treated and was in the process of being released Sunday afternoon.

[Mutant Couch]

This was funny until I remembered that I still haven't heard from my uncle and he would be dumb enough to do this.

[Burke]

www.rollingstone.com/culture/lists/10-most-wtf-florida-man-stories-of-2016-so-far-w443442

My favourite:

Florida Man Throws an Alligator Into a Wendy's Drive-Thru Window

Last February, a Florida man went to a drive-thru restaurant and made his own delivery. Joshua James, 23, pulled into the drive-thru of a Wendy’s in Loxahatchee, Florida, around 1:30 a.m. and after the server handed him a drink, James reached into the back of his truck, grabbed a three-and-a-half foot alligator, and threw it through the restaurant’s drive-thru window. He then sped away, according to local NBS affiliate WPTV. The restaurant workers called the police to come get the good-sized gator out of their restaurant. Police were able to track down James via surveillance footage and his credit card purchases. James was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator. The alligator was rescued and released in a nearby canal. At his court appearance, the judge came down hard on the young man, because "this type of thing is not a prank. It's a crime." According to the Sun Sentinel, he sentenced James to one year of probation, a $500 fine and 75 hours of community service. James was also ordered to stay out of all Wendy's restaurants.

[Burke]

Florida's trying to ruin The List now too.

News 13 in Orlando reports that a middle school student in Poinciana, Florida brought a "kill list" to class earlier this week. The list was inspired by "The List" made famous by WWE Superstar Chris Jericho, according to a Sheriff's Office report.

The "kill list" reportedly included most of the kids on the school football team, saying he wanted to shoot them. The Sheriff's Office incident report noted that deputies contacted the family of the student who created the list and they claimed the boy got the idea from watching WWE and mimicking Jericho, who "keeps a list of people he dislikes."

"A 14-year-old does not just write a list because it's just a list. We're not in kindergarten, saying, 'This kid is not my friend anymore.' He literally knew what he was doing," Michelle Spangler said, whose 14-year old twins attend the school.

The family said the boy had no intention of harming anyone but the incident led to parents keeping their kids out of school after the report came out. The school did not go into specifics about what happened or whether any disciplinary action was taken.