No Fatties Allowed Episode 54!
Our show kicked off with
The Bella Twins picking up a cheap win over
The Funkettes, after The Bella's
La Ascensión team mates
Sarita &
Ivelisse Vélez distracted the referee, allowing
Nikki &
Brie to perform a bit of Twin Magic.
The Beautiful People successfully defended the BP Women's Tag Team Championships against
Blondetourage, when
Rockstar Spud hit the ringside area, and tried out his very best chat-up lines on
Taryn Terrell, which distracted
Kelly Kelly, and allowed
Angelina Love to get the win after a Botox Injection.
Dolph Ziggler tried to attend to Kelly, but she told him to back off. "If that's the sort of friends you have, then I don't want to be one of them," she said as she walked to the back with Taryn. Spud enjoyed watching Blondetourage leave, as Dolph looked heartbroken yet again.
The Boogie Knights are walking backstage, when
La Ascensión's Alberto Del Rio &
Sin Cara ambushed them. They worked over
Disco Inferno before deciding that they've done what they set out to do. The medical team rush to the scene, and refuse Disco's pleas to allow him compete.
Alex Wright must face Alberto Del Rio & Sin Cara on his own.
Alberto Del Rio &
Sin Cara made short work of
Alex Wright in a handicap match. Del Rio took a microphone after the match, "At
The Beginning of the End,
Planet Funk will be blasted out of orbit by La Ascensión, but you... you already know that!"
Mick Foley walks onto the stage, and announces that the next match will determine the number one contenders to both the BP Women's Championship and the BP Women's Tag Team Championships.
Tiffany managed to pick up a win over
Kharma &
Mickie James in a 3-Way match, after hiding in the corner for the entire match, and waiting for the perfect moment to roll Mickie up. Mick Foley congratulated Tiffany on her win, and named her the new number one contender to the BP Women's Championship. He then dropped the bombshell that Mickie James & Kharma are the new number one contenders to the BP Women's Tag Team Championships.
René Duprée prepared to face
AJ Styles &
Daniel Bryan in a 3-Way, until
PROGRESS leader
Paul Heyman makes a huge change to the match. He announces that Duprée will defend his Feast of Fired Briefcase against Bryan, Styles & PROGRESS's
Drew McIntyre. McIntyre gets the win after hitting AJ Styles with the Future Shock. Drew McIntyre now has the ability cash in on the BP European Champion whenever he sees fit.
Elsewhere on NFA,
Jayzero jumped the barricade, grabbed a microphone, and called out
PROGRESS who immediately surrounded the ring. "I wouldn't get in here if I were you!" Jayzero shouted, "I mean, we wouldn't want
Sable to get hurt, would we?" Paul Heyman grabbed a microphone, "I'm listening..." "Give me the chance to win my contract back." "Why would I do that?" "Because you're a smart man, Paul. You know that without Sable, PROGRESS has no real pull. And you're only going to get Sable back, when I bring her back." "You can have your job back on two conditions. One, you bring Sable back to us. And two, you beat
Roddy Piper &
David Otunga in a handicap match at
The Beginning of the End." "Sounds like a fair deal, but I know a better one. How about you make the handicap match a
Loser Gets Fired match? The person who gets pinned, loses their job!" Jayzero then exits through the crowd as PROGRESS look on.
World's Funkiest Man and
The Party Boyz got a DQ win over
La Ascensión representatives,
Hernandez,
Anarquia, and
Ricardo Rodriguez, when La Ascensión knocked out World's Funkiest Man,
Jason &
Zack Ryder with multiple chairshots. They then left the ring having made their point.
BP European Champion
THE Tarrynator made his way to the ring to address the fans. "For the record, even though I've joined Beautiful Persons' answer to the Justice League, I still want you all to boo me. I'm still the cocky bastard who can out wrestle anyone in this place, and beat them with their own move. I'm still a bit of a cunt, and I still don't like any of you." BP Tag Team Champions
The Rock &
Brock Lesnar then hit the ring and laid out THE Tarrynator with an F5/People's Elbow Combination.
Drew McIntyre sprinted down the ramp with a referee, dragged Tarry to his feet, and dropped him with the Future Shock to become the new BP European Champion.
The lights go out as dark organ music hits the speakers of the arena. The lights come back on again, and
Tiarnán is standing above the downed bodies of the
The Rock &
Brock Lesnar. The new BP European Champion
Drew McIntyre quickly exits the ring, and runs up the ramp. Tiarnán then helps
THE Tarrynator to his feet, before the organ music hits again, and the lights go out again. The lights then come back on to reveal that Tiarnán has vanished.
Our show was supposed to close with a Battle of the Bands featuring BP World Champion
Brandon, and his longtime rival,
Burke, but Burke had other plans. Burke adjusted his baseball cap, lifted the microphone to his mouth, and said, "If you wanna hear me rap, then go out, and buy my damn album!" This was met with a chorus of boos. Brandon then came to the ring, "Burke, you're such a spoil sport. This segment could have gone down in history as the single greatest moment in professional wrestling history, but yet again you have to be boring," Brandon walked to the center of the ring, "Gee, if Burke isn't going to rap, then I'm not going to sing. I won't let you go home disappointed though." Brandon then proceeded to booty pop, much to the annoyance of Burke. Burke hoisted Brandon onto his shoulders for the FU, but Brandon struggled out and hit the Booty Call on his challenger. Brandon then posed with the BP World Championship as our show came to a close.
