Post by Burke on Jan 8, 2012 16:01:09 GMT -5
No Fatties Allowed Episode 44!
We’re baaaaack! Following a self-imposed holiday exile, No Fatties Allowed returns with a bang for 2012! Let’s get to it!
We kicked off the first show of 2012 with a bout between two BP newcomers, AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan. After around 15 minutes of world class action, the technical prowess of the submission expert Bryan overcame the high-flying abilities of AJ as he forced him to tap out to the LeBell Lock. In an admirable display of sportsmanship, the two competitors shared a handshake after the match.
Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles certainly wouldn’t be the only new BP signings to make their presence felt tonight. In a seemingly unprovoked attack, the monster Kharma blindsided Jessica in the backstage area. After a vicious assault, the former Awesome Kong departed as medical personnel went to check on Jessica.
Up next, John Cena went one-on-one with the dastardly World’s Strongest Man in singles competition. After a back and forth battle, “The Champ” emerged victorious after dropping WSM with a ring shattering Attitude Adjustment.
Sable was backstage in her office about to make an announcement when she received an email from the BP Board of Directors informing her that Roddy Piper had stepped down from his position as co-General Manager, and that in the interest of fairness, a new co-General Manager will be announced later on tonight and that person will run NFA with her from now on on a 50-50 basis. She didn’t look pleased, to say the least. Regaining her focus, she announced that she had acquired a huge signing for BP. None other than “my husband…Brock Lesnar!” Brock enters and asks his wife when he he’s going to receive his “special signing bonus”? Sable laughs and says that if he impresses in his debut match later tonight it might come sooner than he thinks.
Up next was a special edition of Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel! His guest was the man who recently returned to NFA following his stint in the mental asylum, Tiarnán. In a rather bizarre episode, the conflicted Irishman refused to respond to any of Y2J’s questions, eventually walking off the Highlight Reel set to the back without uttering a single word. Jericho looked stunned and quickly called for a commercial break.
In mixed tag team action, the obnoxiously lovesick duo of Burke and Kelly Kelly defeated the Meanest Girls in a highly charged affair. Using several underhanded tactics, Brandon and Tiffany managed to control large portions of the match before B eventually fell victim to the Scotsman’s FU. Afterwards, the sulking Meanest Girls grabbed their respective US and Women’s title belts from the timekeeper and made their way up the ramp, motioning on the way that the sight of Burke and Kelly hugging in the ring celebrating their victory was making them puke.
THE Tarrynator and Jason were in the ring preparing for a European title match when Tarry clocked Jason over the head with the title belt before the match could even begin. Tarry smugly posed with his title as the fans chanted “asshole!” The plucky Jason eventually made his way back to his feet though and tackled him to the ground! They continueto trade blows in the ring and are oblivious when the opening chord of Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality” sends the crowd into a frenzy. CM Punk is on No Fatties Allowed! The Straight-Edge Superstar casually makes his way to the ring. A confused Tarry and Jason finally stop brawling as Punk looks at them both and shakes his head. All of a sudden, he kicks Jason in the head! Then he lifts him onto his shoulders and delivers the GTS. The fans don’t appreciate this and begin booing Punk who slowly exits the ring. BP cameras caught up with Punk in the back afterwards and their wannabe TMZ asses asked him why he just attacked Jason like that. “Because I felt like it” he replied.
The Bella Twins, Brie and Nikki, defeated the Divas of Doom, Beth Phoenix and Natalya, in diva tag team action. Never known to be the brightest bulbs in the hall, Beth and Natalya fell for the old Bella “twin magic” as Brie rolled up Beth for the pin while Nikki was technically the legal Bella supposed to be in the ring at the time. The referee was oblivious though and the Bella’s emerged victorious. Beth and Natalya are furious in the ring as the cheating Bella’s mocked them from the top of the entrance way, “you mad??”
Zack Ryder made his way to the ring like a lamb being lead to slaughter for his match with the debuting Brock Lesnar. To the surprise of no one, “The Long Island Iced Z” was decimated by the former UFC Heavyweight Champion. Lesnar threw Ryder around for a couple minutes before finally putting him out of his misery with the F5. Following the match, Lesnar picked Ryder back up and dropped him with another F5, just for good measure. Sable appeared on the entrance ramp and applauded her husband. The behemoth has certainly sent a message to the rest of the BP roster with his dominating performance here tonight.
Our main event of the evening was a rematch from Hardcore XXXmas as Jayzero cashed in his rematch clause and attempted to regain the BP World Championship from the man who ended his historic run as the longest reigning World champ in BP history, The Miz. He was to come up short once again though as the conniving Miz held onto his precious championship, albeit through dubious means. Jayzero appeared to be in control of the match when Miz “accidentally” knocked the ref out the ring following an irish whip attempt. As Jayzero momentarily lost his concentration, the sneaky Miz kicked him in the head. A light-bulb went off in the devious mind of the champion when he realized there was no official to keep order. He removed the padding exposing the steel turnbuckle with evil intentions in mind. He took too long though and turned back around only to walk right into the Zero Hour! Jayzero made the cover as the fans counted along “1...2…3!” It didn’t matter though as the ref was still down and out on the outside. The frustrated challenger got up and dragged the bumbling official back in the ring but Miz took advantage and nailed him with a huge low blow! Miz then slingshotted Jayzeo’s face into the exposed turnbuckle, busting him wide open. The referee finally regained consciousness as Miz drove Jayzero’s bloody face into the mat with the Skull Crushing Finale. 1…2…3. Miz has retained his title and the fans are not happy.
With Miz still in the ring celebrating his victory, BP ring announcer Stacy Keibler had some news to break. “Ladies and gentleman, I’ve just been informed that as promised, I can now introduce you to the new co-General Manager of Beautiful Persons and No Fatties Allowed…”
It’s the Hardcore Legend himself, Mick Foley! He makes his way to the ring with the sold out crowd cheering him on. After playing to the crowd a little, he gets down to business. He said that while he might seem like a strange choice for a place called Beautiful Persons, you shouldn’t always judge a book by it’s cover. He promises the BP Board of Directors that, along with his co-GM Sable, he will shake things up here on NFA. He says he’s an idea man and he has some ideas he would like to put into effect right now. “That’s if that’s okay with everyone right here…in Los Angeles, California?!” he asks, eliciting his patented cheap pop. He sarcastically applauds Miz for his victory tonight and ponders what’s next for the World title. The crowd chant the name of their hometown hero, Jayzero. Mick says that he agrees with them but since Jayzero has already used his rematch clause he can’t book another Miz-Jayzero one-on-one title match. He is greeted with boo’s. But wait, he says, “there’s nothing stopping me from giving everyone a title shot…at the same time!” A flabbergasted Miz looks on as Foley announces that on Jan 29, for the first time ever, the BP World Championship will be defended…in a Beautiful Persons Rumble match! “And unlike that other little battle royal you might hear another organization talking about taking place on that same day, we promise to provide some actual star power in ours." Miz flips out and is about to go off on Foley when the former Mankind cuts him off. “But wait, that’s still a month away. I got an idea for next week too.” Foley says since Miz obviously likes to fight dirty, next week he’s going to put him in a match where anything is legal. “You know I’ve always loved violence and I can’t think of a better match for my first NFA main event than the most violent match imaginable…the War Games!” The crowd erupts as he explains that next week it will be Team Miz vs. Team Jayzero in the first ever BP War Games match! Each man has 7 days to choose 4 partners to go to battle with them inside the deadly cage where there can only be a winner by KO or submission. A distraught Miz can’t believe what he’s hearing as Foley addresses him once more before exiting the ring, “Happy new year…and have a nice day!” His music hits as he leaves with the fans chanting his name. Cameras cut to the back where a disgusted looking Sable is looking on. JR and King sign us off the air by stating that it looks like it’s going to be an interesting 2012 in BP land with Mick Foley and Sable as co-GM’s and remind us to tune in next week for BP War Games!
We’re baaaaack! Following a self-imposed holiday exile, No Fatties Allowed returns with a bang for 2012! Let’s get to it!
We kicked off the first show of 2012 with a bout between two BP newcomers, AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan. After around 15 minutes of world class action, the technical prowess of the submission expert Bryan overcame the high-flying abilities of AJ as he forced him to tap out to the LeBell Lock. In an admirable display of sportsmanship, the two competitors shared a handshake after the match.
Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles certainly wouldn’t be the only new BP signings to make their presence felt tonight. In a seemingly unprovoked attack, the monster Kharma blindsided Jessica in the backstage area. After a vicious assault, the former Awesome Kong departed as medical personnel went to check on Jessica.
Up next, John Cena went one-on-one with the dastardly World’s Strongest Man in singles competition. After a back and forth battle, “The Champ” emerged victorious after dropping WSM with a ring shattering Attitude Adjustment.
Sable was backstage in her office about to make an announcement when she received an email from the BP Board of Directors informing her that Roddy Piper had stepped down from his position as co-General Manager, and that in the interest of fairness, a new co-General Manager will be announced later on tonight and that person will run NFA with her from now on on a 50-50 basis. She didn’t look pleased, to say the least. Regaining her focus, she announced that she had acquired a huge signing for BP. None other than “my husband…Brock Lesnar!” Brock enters and asks his wife when he he’s going to receive his “special signing bonus”? Sable laughs and says that if he impresses in his debut match later tonight it might come sooner than he thinks.
Up next was a special edition of Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel! His guest was the man who recently returned to NFA following his stint in the mental asylum, Tiarnán. In a rather bizarre episode, the conflicted Irishman refused to respond to any of Y2J’s questions, eventually walking off the Highlight Reel set to the back without uttering a single word. Jericho looked stunned and quickly called for a commercial break.
In mixed tag team action, the obnoxiously lovesick duo of Burke and Kelly Kelly defeated the Meanest Girls in a highly charged affair. Using several underhanded tactics, Brandon and Tiffany managed to control large portions of the match before B eventually fell victim to the Scotsman’s FU. Afterwards, the sulking Meanest Girls grabbed their respective US and Women’s title belts from the timekeeper and made their way up the ramp, motioning on the way that the sight of Burke and Kelly hugging in the ring celebrating their victory was making them puke.
THE Tarrynator and Jason were in the ring preparing for a European title match when Tarry clocked Jason over the head with the title belt before the match could even begin. Tarry smugly posed with his title as the fans chanted “asshole!” The plucky Jason eventually made his way back to his feet though and tackled him to the ground! They continueto trade blows in the ring and are oblivious when the opening chord of Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality” sends the crowd into a frenzy. CM Punk is on No Fatties Allowed! The Straight-Edge Superstar casually makes his way to the ring. A confused Tarry and Jason finally stop brawling as Punk looks at them both and shakes his head. All of a sudden, he kicks Jason in the head! Then he lifts him onto his shoulders and delivers the GTS. The fans don’t appreciate this and begin booing Punk who slowly exits the ring. BP cameras caught up with Punk in the back afterwards and their wannabe TMZ asses asked him why he just attacked Jason like that. “Because I felt like it” he replied.
The Bella Twins, Brie and Nikki, defeated the Divas of Doom, Beth Phoenix and Natalya, in diva tag team action. Never known to be the brightest bulbs in the hall, Beth and Natalya fell for the old Bella “twin magic” as Brie rolled up Beth for the pin while Nikki was technically the legal Bella supposed to be in the ring at the time. The referee was oblivious though and the Bella’s emerged victorious. Beth and Natalya are furious in the ring as the cheating Bella’s mocked them from the top of the entrance way, “you mad??”
Zack Ryder made his way to the ring like a lamb being lead to slaughter for his match with the debuting Brock Lesnar. To the surprise of no one, “The Long Island Iced Z” was decimated by the former UFC Heavyweight Champion. Lesnar threw Ryder around for a couple minutes before finally putting him out of his misery with the F5. Following the match, Lesnar picked Ryder back up and dropped him with another F5, just for good measure. Sable appeared on the entrance ramp and applauded her husband. The behemoth has certainly sent a message to the rest of the BP roster with his dominating performance here tonight.
Our main event of the evening was a rematch from Hardcore XXXmas as Jayzero cashed in his rematch clause and attempted to regain the BP World Championship from the man who ended his historic run as the longest reigning World champ in BP history, The Miz. He was to come up short once again though as the conniving Miz held onto his precious championship, albeit through dubious means. Jayzero appeared to be in control of the match when Miz “accidentally” knocked the ref out the ring following an irish whip attempt. As Jayzero momentarily lost his concentration, the sneaky Miz kicked him in the head. A light-bulb went off in the devious mind of the champion when he realized there was no official to keep order. He removed the padding exposing the steel turnbuckle with evil intentions in mind. He took too long though and turned back around only to walk right into the Zero Hour! Jayzero made the cover as the fans counted along “1...2…3!” It didn’t matter though as the ref was still down and out on the outside. The frustrated challenger got up and dragged the bumbling official back in the ring but Miz took advantage and nailed him with a huge low blow! Miz then slingshotted Jayzeo’s face into the exposed turnbuckle, busting him wide open. The referee finally regained consciousness as Miz drove Jayzero’s bloody face into the mat with the Skull Crushing Finale. 1…2…3. Miz has retained his title and the fans are not happy.
With Miz still in the ring celebrating his victory, BP ring announcer Stacy Keibler had some news to break. “Ladies and gentleman, I’ve just been informed that as promised, I can now introduce you to the new co-General Manager of Beautiful Persons and No Fatties Allowed…”
It’s the Hardcore Legend himself, Mick Foley! He makes his way to the ring with the sold out crowd cheering him on. After playing to the crowd a little, he gets down to business. He said that while he might seem like a strange choice for a place called Beautiful Persons, you shouldn’t always judge a book by it’s cover. He promises the BP Board of Directors that, along with his co-GM Sable, he will shake things up here on NFA. He says he’s an idea man and he has some ideas he would like to put into effect right now. “That’s if that’s okay with everyone right here…in Los Angeles, California?!” he asks, eliciting his patented cheap pop. He sarcastically applauds Miz for his victory tonight and ponders what’s next for the World title. The crowd chant the name of their hometown hero, Jayzero. Mick says that he agrees with them but since Jayzero has already used his rematch clause he can’t book another Miz-Jayzero one-on-one title match. He is greeted with boo’s. But wait, he says, “there’s nothing stopping me from giving everyone a title shot…at the same time!” A flabbergasted Miz looks on as Foley announces that on Jan 29, for the first time ever, the BP World Championship will be defended…in a Beautiful Persons Rumble match! “And unlike that other little battle royal you might hear another organization talking about taking place on that same day, we promise to provide some actual star power in ours." Miz flips out and is about to go off on Foley when the former Mankind cuts him off. “But wait, that’s still a month away. I got an idea for next week too.” Foley says since Miz obviously likes to fight dirty, next week he’s going to put him in a match where anything is legal. “You know I’ve always loved violence and I can’t think of a better match for my first NFA main event than the most violent match imaginable…the War Games!” The crowd erupts as he explains that next week it will be Team Miz vs. Team Jayzero in the first ever BP War Games match! Each man has 7 days to choose 4 partners to go to battle with them inside the deadly cage where there can only be a winner by KO or submission. A distraught Miz can’t believe what he’s hearing as Foley addresses him once more before exiting the ring, “Happy new year…and have a nice day!” His music hits as he leaves with the fans chanting his name. Cameras cut to the back where a disgusted looking Sable is looking on. JR and King sign us off the air by stating that it looks like it’s going to be an interesting 2012 in BP land with Mick Foley and Sable as co-GM’s and remind us to tune in next week for BP War Games!
