No Fatties Allowed Episode 68!
Daniel Bryan opened our show by calling
Jason down to the ring. Poor
Jessica was wearing a neck brace after their mishap last week, and Daniel wanted Jason to know it was all his fault. Bryan forced Jason to look at Jessica and reduced him to tears, claiming it was no wonder Zack Ryder turned on him. After forcing Jason to apologize, Bryan decided that wasn't enough and attacked Jason. Jessica uneasily watched as Bryan put her good friend in the LeBell Lock and forced him to tap, but she was too scared to stand up to her man.
The
Beautiful People enlisted the sacrificial services of the former "Cute Kip" when they fed
Billy Gunn to the
World's Funkiest Man. The sorority stable hoped that Billy could take WFM out after he threatened them last week, but he merely served as a speed bump. After the match, the Beautiful People huddled in a corner of the barricade and squealed in disgust when WFM stared down at them and jiggled. Lacey, Velvet and Angelina ran to the back while the Funkadactyls joined WFM in the ring for a celebratory dance.
Backstage,
Ashley attempted to interview our Rookiest Diva,
Kaitlyn, when
Tiffany interrupted. Tiffany still insisted that Weightlyn winning her contest was not only a joke, but an insult. Kaitlyn cut her off and told Tiffany to stop blaming her for her miserable life, and that "It was only a stupid bikini contest!" Tiffany gasped at Kaitlyn's remark toward bikini contests, and told her if she thought she was so hot, that she should compete against her in one at Ho Surrender. Kaitlyn agreed, and Tiffany advised her not to wear stripes this time, because they make her look fat. Before she could walk away, Kaitlyn retorted with "Well at least my bikini wont make me look easy!" With wild eyes, Tiffany spun around. "You didn't just say that!" Tiffany tackled the blonde and pounded her head against the pavement while security rushed in to pull them apart.
After coming to his aid last week,
Dolph Ziggler teamed with
Brandon for an opportunity at the Tag Team Championship against
Burke and
Drew McIntyre. As usual, Burke asked for a microphone and a moment.
"Drew and I would like to dedicate our match tonight, to our special friends Nikki and Brie
Hopefully one day we can be on top, of that Bella family tree! *winks at Drew*
I don't know what we ever saw, in Taryn and Kelly
They were never women enough, to handle this jelly!
Now we have to deal with this male Blondetourage? Your counterparts obviously taught you how to suck
We really have to defend our titles, against the 2012 Billy & Chuck?!
I almost ended Dolph's career last month, sent him to the emergency room
You and Brandon are enhancement talent, me and Drew the Legion of Doom!
We're the greatest tag-team of all time! We're devouring the competition
Tonight Lil B and Mr. Ziggles, get taken out of commission!"
Once the action was underway, Brandon and Dolph appeared to have the titles in their grasp until
Brie Bella climbed onto the ring apron and hit Brandon in the back of his head with her women's tag team title, allowing Burke to cover the disoriented blonde for the win. After the match
Blondetourage attacked the Bella twins and soon all eight were battling until the heels were thrown from the ring and retreated to the back while Kelly and Taryn raised Dolph and Brandon's hands.
The
World's Funkiest Man was treating himself to a second helping of catering when he was ambushed by the
Beautiful People backstage. Angelina, Velvet and Lacey beat WFM down with dinner trays and doused him with food. With WFM lying unconscious and covered in cuisine, the Beautiful People promised he would suffer the same fate if he got in the ring with them at Ho Surrender.
Jayzero still hadn't gotten his hands on Cody Rhodes, but he was looking to send a message through
Derrick Bateman. With Cody looking on backstage, Jayzero made a cut throat gesture before hitting the Zero Hour and locking Bateman in the Anaconda Vice. Bateman quickly tapped and Jayzero stared forebodingly into the camera while the referee raised his hand, certain that Cody was watching.
THE Tarrynator approached
Maryse backstage and told the former 3-time Playboy cover model that she looked absolutely breathtaking in the fur coat he boat her, to which Maryse replied, "I know." THE Tarrynator asked if he could take her out again since he wasn't scheduled for a match, but before Maryse could answer,
The Miz appeared at her side and wrapped his arm around her waist. THE Tarrynator looked confused. "But, I thought you guys broke up. . . ." Maryse informed THE Tarrynator that she and The Miz fight and break up only to kiss and make up. She thanked THE Tarrynator again for her coat before being steered away by The Miz.
Back in the arena,
Jesse Sorensen was victorious in a triple threat match against the Jerseylicious duo of
Zack Ryder and
Robbie E. Ryder and Robbie worked well as a cohesive unit, but when it was time for one of them to pick up the pin there was dissension in the ranks, allowing Jesse to roll Robbie up for the victory. Unfortunately for Jesse, Robbie and Ryder remained pressed and laid him out after the match.
Back in the back,
Jayzero was still on the hunt for
Cody Rhodes. Unfortunately for Jayzero, Cody found him instead. Cody ambushed the United States Champion and left him beaten and bruised, promising the same thing would happen in four mere days at Ho Surrender.
As the end of our final NFA before Ho Surrender drew near,
Sable and
Maxine made their way down the ramp and requested the World Champion,
John Cena, and his #1 contender,
Tiarnán, join them in the ring. Once both competitors were present, Sable reminded both of them what was at stake come Sunday. Maxine presented Cena and Tiarnán with the match contract, which both men signed after exchanging wary glances with one another.
After handing the contract back to Maxine, Tiarnán brushed past Cena and looked to exit the ring, but Sable stopped him. The BP GM stated that Tiarnán really should have read over his contract more thoroughly, because at Ho Surrender, there would be a special referee. One she knew Tiarnán wouldn't have agreed to beforehand. Tiarnán demanded to know who would be the special referee for his World title match, and to his
horror surprise, his query was answered by none other than
Mick Foley! Sable and Maxine made a brisk exit and John Cena smiled smugly as Foley came on stage to wave at his old friend Tiarnán, who went into a hysteric fit as NFA came to a close.
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