BP NFA 2012

[jayzero42690]

May 24, 2012 12:29:57 GMT -5 Tarry said:

Making a space in my trophy cabinet for the BP United States Championship.

#SuckMyNuts

[jayzero42690]

This Sunday, y'all can literally start suckin my nuts. My new move:



The Bronco Nut Buster

[Tarry]

Debuting my new theme tomorrow night @ Too Hot For TV



And I've been taking a lot of Miyagi-Do Karate lessons recently, so you'll all be on the receiving end of the Crane Technique very soon

Impromptu casting!


Daniel LaRusso (right) - Tarry
Johnny Lawrence (left) - Jayzero

[Burke]

Beautiful Persons presents…Too Hot For TV!

---

The hype is over! The time is now! This is Too Hot For TV!

BP Women’s Tag Team Championship
The Bella Twins© (Brie & Nikki Bella) vs. Blondetourage (Kelly Kelly & Taryn Terrell)

In our special Too Hot For TV pre-show bonus match (available on BeautifulPersons.com!), the Women’s Tag titles were on the line as the Bella twins defended against the no. 1 contenders, Kelly and Taryn. Team Blondetourage were to come up short in their pursuit of the gold though as the Bellas’s pulled their old “twin magic” trick and the technically illegal competitor Brie pinned Taryn following a Bella Buster.

Winners and still BP Women’s Tag Team Champions: The Bella Twins

BP United States Championship Scramble Match
Jayzero© vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Sin Cara vs. THE Tarrynator

We kicked off the PPV portion of Too Hot For TV with the first ever scramble match in BP history! Two men (Dolph and Punk) start in the ring and every 2 minutes another superstar joins them. When everyone has entered 5 minutes will be placed on the clock and the person who gets the last pinfall/submission before that time expires will be the undisputed United States Champion! After Dolph and Punk, the participants enter in the following order: Tarrynator, Cody, Jericho, Jayzero, Drew, Lesnar, Sin Cara and then finally Alberto. The Champion Jayzero and Tarry are both at a clear disadvantage due to the beating they received at the hands on ADR and Drew last Wednesday on NFA. Tarry managed to get a pinfall on Drew around 15 minutes in following the Tarrydise, putting him in the driver seat. Alberto was the last man in and immediately put his freshness to good use by momentarily disposing of everyone else in the ring and pinning Sin Cara following an enzuigiri. With less than 4 minutes to go ADR was in control! The scene in the ring was chaotic with everyone going for pinfall attempts when out of nowhere Ricardo Rodriguez got involved. Looking to secure the win for his man, he handed Alberto a steel chair and held Jayzero in position but when ADR swung the resourceful Jayzero ducked and Ricardo got clocked! Quick as a flash, Jay hit the Zero Hour on the stunned ADR and got the pin before anyone could break it up! Jayzero then set up Alberto and Ricardo in opposite corners and unleashed a double dose of his new secret weapon…the Nut Buster! The fans are on their feet for that one! I hope X-Pac is about to receive a royalty check. With less than a minute left on the clock the pace was frantic as people were being F5’d all over the place by Brock but his pinfall attempts kept being broken up before the ref could count 3. With 20 seconds left Tarry rolled up Alberto in the corner out of everyone else’s sight and appeared to have the match won when a groggy Ricardo lunged in and broke up the count! The timer hit zero as Brock F5’d Jayzero. As the man with the last pinfall Jayzero has overcome all the odds and retained his title! Tarry chases Ricardo on the outside and throws him face first into the steep steps as an exhausted Jayzero comes around and realises that he’s the winner.

Winner and still BP United States Champion: Jayzero

BP Tag Team Championship
The Party Boyz© (Jason & Zack Ryder) vs. Rated RKO (Edge & Randy Orton)

Jason and Zack went into match as huge underdogs against the “Rated R Superstar” and the “Viper” but the Party Boyz proved that anything is possible on a BP PPV when they pulled off the upset and successfully defended their titles! The finish came when Orton RKO’d Jason and got too cocky. Instead of going for the pin he set his opponent up for the Punt but Jason instead caught him with the Skull Snap out of nowhere and got the 3 count! JR praised the guts and determination of the fighting Tag Champs.

Winners and still BP Tag Team Champions: The Party Boyz

BP Women’s Championship Triple Threat Match
Lacey Von Erich© vs. Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky

The Beautiful People implode! Who would have thought it would ever come to this?! The defending champion Lacey shows no fear straight from the opening bell, taking it to Angelina and Velvet. Love and Sky soon turn the tables though and double team Lacey. They continued punishing her for several minutes until Angelina went for the pinfall following the Botox Injection and Velvet broke up the pin. “Who said YOU have to win??” Velvet screamed. Lacey took advantage of their bickering, rose up and Chokeslammed them both! She then picked them both up and dropped them back down with a double DDT! She went for the cover on them both but they both kicked out at the last second. The match evolved into a traditional triple threat from here on out and there were several near falls from all 3 girls. Following an epic back and forth battle the finish came when Velvet had Angelina set up for a superplex and Lacey thwarted her attempt, instead powerbombing Velvet from the corner and climbing up and superplexing Angelina herself! With both her opponents down and out Lacey applied the Von Erich Claw on Angelina and the ref called for the bell when Love was unable to fight the hold. Lacey wins as JR heaps praise upon her effort here tonight. “That young woman has just won the biggest match of her career! Lacey Von Erich has silenced her critics and walks out of Too Hot For TV still the Women’s Champion!” A clearly emotional Lacey drops to her knees in celebration upon being handed her title belt. Angelina and Velvet eventually regain their senses and step to the middle of the ring, opposing Lacey. Lacey shows no fear and raises her title in the air. Angelina says “that’s more like it” and applauds Lacey. Velvet follows suit. Angelina and Velvet extend their hands to Lacey. Lacey instead initiates a group hug! All is once again right in the world of TBP!

Winner and still BP Women’s Champion: Lacey Von Erich

Mixed Tag-Team Match
Daniel Bryan & Jessica vs. The Miz & Maryse

The weeks of animosity between Jessica and Maryse finally came to a head here and on this night Jessica would get the last laugh. Bryan and Miz were little more than bit part players in this one, although Bryan did take out Miz towards the end, rendering him unable to stop Jessica placing Maryse in the Couch Recliner and making her tap out! Maryse threw a temper tantrum and screamed at Miz on their way to the back as Jessica and Bryan celebrated in the ring, running from side to side screaming “yes, yes, yes!”

Winners: Daniel Bryan & Jessica

The Rock vs. World’s Funkiest Man

Following weeks of torment from The Rock, WFM and the The Funkadactyls, Cameron and Naomi, extracted their revenge on this night. Following a 15 minute battle, WFM put the “Great One” away with the Burning Hammer before calling Naomi and Cameron (who had stayed in the back for their safety) to the ring. WFM laid Rock out with another Burning Hammer before picking him back up and holding him in place for Naomi to slap him! WFM then dragged Rocky and set him up in the corner, allowing Cameron to run up and kick him right in the People’s Balls! Cameron and Naomi trash talked Rock as the crowd cheered them on. WFM then lifted the girls on his shoulders and they partied on out of there.

Winner: World’s Funkiest Man

BP Did You Know?! – Tonight’s Too Hot For TV PPV will be watched by people in over 100 different countries in over 50 different languages.

Meanest Girls Invitational Rookiest Diva Contest Final – Bikini Contest
AJ vs. Kaitlyn

The Meanest Girls, Tiffany and Brandon, excitedly make their way to the ring and announce that we’re about to crown the winner of the first ever Meanest Girls Invational Rookiest Diva Contest! Tiffany introduces the first finalist, AJ! Brandon then introduces the other, Kaitlyn! They explain that the winner of the contest will be decided by the reaction of the live crowd. They urge the crowd to take both competitors efforts during the past month into consideration, as well as their performance in the upcoming bikini contest. Tiffany says it’s been a long and arduous journey to make it to this point (for her) and says she can’t think of a better way for the contest to end than with a bikini contest! Brandon then wishes both AJ and Kaitlyn luck and says the contest is about to start! AJ goes first and struts her stuff in a rather conservative looking bikini to a decent reaction from the crowd. Brandon applauds while Tiffany just about manages to muster a sarcastic clap. Kaitlyn is up next and teases the crowd, asking if they want to see her bikini. They of course roar in approval. She pulls her t-shirt up over her head and OMG! Wardrobe malfunction!!! Her bikini top seems to have “slipped” off! The crowd responds with the biggest pop of the night. Kaitlyn’s scandalous act is blurred out by the production team. Thank God for the 5 second delay! Truly Too Hot For TV! Kaitlyn fixes her top and assures everyone that it was an “accident”! Tiffany is speechless as Brandon polls the crowd. There is no contest, Kaitlyn is unanimously the crowds favourite! Brandon announces her as the winner of the first ever Meanest Girls Invitational Rookiest Diva Contest! AJ congratulates Kaitlyn and leaves her to celebrate as Brandon hands Kaitlyn a shiny over the top looking trophy to mark her victory. Tiffany, however, is not amused. She snatches the mic from Brandon and goes off on Kaitlyn. “You people disgsust me! How could you vote for THAT as the winner?! You’ve made a mockery of my contest!” Tiffany keeps going on and Kaitlyn eventually has had enough of the weeks of torment. She picks Tiffany up and bodyslams her! The crowd reaction is on par with Hogan slamming Andre! And this is probably more historically significant than that moment, imo! Tiffany is in shock and has to be held back by Brandon. Brandon ushers her to the back while Kaitlyn continues celebrating in the ring!

Winner: Kaitlyn

BP World Championship
Burke© vs. John Cena

The challenger John Cena made his way out first and was greeted by the usual “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks!” chants. His opponent, the World Champion Burke, then made his way out to unanimous boos and was about to cut one of his trademark raps on his way to the ring when Cena cut him off. The leader of the CeNation said we’ve heard more than enough of Burke’s crap and it’s time he showed him how it’s really done. Cena asks for his old Basic Thuganomics instrumental to play and the crowd roars as they know what that means.

“You’ll have to excuse me, I haven’t done this in a while
Hopefully I can still keep up, with this extra from 8 Mile
Let’s get this started, back up to my old tricks
Class is in session, this is basic thuganomics
Tonight John Cena strikes back, this is Too Hot For TV
Someone give Burke a pair of glasses, cause he can’t see me!
He says he’s a rapper, but I don’t hear his songs on the radio station
He’s already shaking in fear, from this lyrical ejaculation!
How can I take him seriously, he’s a Scottish kid named Willy
I could sleepwalk through this match, and still slap this kid silly!
Deep down I know you’re a big fan though, I understand
He was spotted in the back last week, trying on a John Cena wristband!
All you need now, is the Rise Above Hate baseball cap
I might even give you mine tonight, after I make you tap!
You think there’s any other outcome? You must be sniffing glue
This story only has one ending, time for you to STFU!
I’m ready to get this over with, scratch a 7 year itch
Bout to make this Scottish fraud, John Cena’s little bitch!
I’m swinging a sword, you’re playing with a butter knife
Class is dismissed, word motherfucking life!”

Cena throws the mic down and is ready for business as Burke looks like he’s about to cry. Burke tries to get himself counted out several times but Cena thwarts his attempts each time and drags him back to the ring. Burke then Low Blow’s Cena right in front of the referee and begs the ref to DQ him but the official refuses to let it end like that. Cena kicks out of an FU and Burke is distraught. The Scot appears to know that his time is up. He again FU’s Cena and tells him to stay down but Cena kicks out again! Burke throws a temper tantrum and retrieves his title belt from the timekeeper. He sets up to knock Cena’s head off with it but Cena ducks, spins Burke around and drops him with a sideslam. The challenger goes to the top rope and raises his hand in the air which whips the crowd into a frenzy. “You Can’t See Me!” Top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena is in complete control as he picks Burke up and AA’s him. He goes for the pin but pulls Burke’s shoulders up at 2. Not yet, he says. Cena drags Burke’s limp body onto his shoulders and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Attitude Adjustment off the top! Cena says it’s over. 1…2…Cena again lifts Burke’s shoulders up before 3! He wants to make Burke quit. He locks in the STFU! Burke taps like a bitch! We have a new World Champion! The reign of terrorBurke is over. Burke crawls up the ramp as the crowd taunt him with chants of “you tapped out”. Cameras catch him crying on his way out. What a pussy. Cena celebrates in the ring with his newly won title as pyro explodes around him.

Winner and new BP World Champion: John Cena

Inferno Match
Mick Foley vs. Tiarnán

It’s time for our Too Hot For TV main event of the evening! The match 4 months in the making. Tiarnán and Mick Foley will finally clash. In an Inferno match! JR explains rather morbidly that indeed, the only way to win this match is to set your opponent on fire. Mick Foley enters first and the psychotic former co-General Manager looks to be right at home in this dangerous environment. He sets up tables outside every side of the ring and pours lighter fluid over them before throwing a match on them, setting them alight. “There’s no escape, Tiarnán!” he maniacally screams. Then he throws steel chairs, half of the steep ring steps and his trusty barbed wire baseball bat into the ring before finally entering the squared circle himself. Foley smiles as Tiarnán’s music hits and the Irishman slowly makes his way to the ring, contemplating what he’s about go through. He shows no fear and enters the ring and production staff hit the switch which engulfs the ring perimeter in flames! There’s no going back now! There is no official in the ring with them as the bell rings. T looks nervous as Foley is still smiling. They come face to face in the middle of the ring and Foley dares T to take the first shot. He complies and clotheslines Foley off his feet! In what has to be the most dangerous match ever contested in a BP ring, both men barely have room to move between all of Foley’s weapons in the ring and the flames surrounding them. JR and King note that they can feel the heat from the announce table and question how insane it must be for Foley and Tiarnán in there. The match is brutal as both men bloody and batter each other to the point of exhaustion. At one point T locks in the Dragon Sleeper and Foley passes out but T is so exhausted he collapses too. Both men slowly make their way back up and trade punches before Foley tries to whip T into the flames! T screeches to a halt, turns back around, but Foley drop toe holds him face first into the steep steps! Foley then places a chair over T’s head, picks up the barbed wire bat and throws himself on top of T with it! Foley could probably end it here but elects to continue punishing T. Foley DDT’s T face first onto the barbed wire and locks in the Mandible Claw. T is lifeless as Foley eventually releases the hold. Foley points to the flaming tables outside the ring he set up earlier before carefully placing T on the top turnbuckle, making sure he doesn’t touch the surrounding flames. Foley obviously has some kind of crazy plan but Tiarnán kicks him repeatedly in the head and gives him a Tornado DDT. The impact is so hard upon landing the flames shoot up even higher! T is running on adrenaline and picks Foley up for the Snap Reverse DDT. He places a steel chair around Foley’s neck then delivers the move! JR and King aren’t even speaking at this point. T picks up the barbed wire bat and drives it into Foley’s head as blood pours out. Foley appears to be finished as T hesitates and looks to be regretting what he’s gotten himself into. After a long pause, Foley comes back around, crawls over, uses T’s trunks to drag himself to his feet and tells him to finish him. T drags Foley to the corner, climbs to the top turnbuckle and pildedrives Foley off the top rope through one of the flaming tables on the outside! The bells rings to end the match as paramedics are immediately on the scene. “Mercifully, it’s over”, sighs JR. Foley is stretchered out immediately. T is still conscious though and refuses medical attention. He gets off his stretcher and limps up the ramp. A crazed look comes over T’s face as he realises what he’s just come through. He slowly exits before stopping at the top of the ramp. He screams into the camera “now I want my damn title back!” as the show fades to black.

Winner: Tiarnán

Top worldwide trending topics for the night~: “Too Hot For TV”, “US Title”, “Scramble Match”, “Tarrydise”, “Zero Hour”, “F5”, "Nut Buster", “Jayzero Wins!”, “Tarry Killed Ricardo”, “Party Boyz Win!”, “The Beautiful People”, “Botox Injection”, “Chokeslam”, “Superplex”, “The Claw!”, “Lacey Did It!”, Shake Her Hand”, “Aww!”, “TBP Are Back!”, “Maryse/Miz”, “Jessica/Bryan”, “Couch Recliner”, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, “Cameron And Naomi”, “Slap Him!”, “Rookiest Diva Contest”, “Tiffany And Brandon”, “Bikini Contest”, “AJ And Kaitlyn”, “OMG, WTF”, Kaitlyn’s Top Came Off!”, “Kaitlyn Wins!”, “Tiffany Is Pissed”, “She Got Slammed!”, “World Title”, “#IfBurkeWinsWeRiot”, “Cena”, “He’s Rapping!”, “Basic Thuganomics”, “8 Mile”, “Lyrical Ejaculation”, “Scottish Kid Named Willy”,“John Cena’s Little Bitch”, “Word Motherfucking Life”, “That’s Not PG”, “STFU”, “You Tapped Out”, “He’s Crying”, “Burke Is A Pussy”, “Cena Is Champ”, “The Champ Is Here”, “Main Event Time”, “Foley-Tiarnan”, “Inferno Match”, “#ThingsHotterThanThisMatch”, “Fire”, “Barbed Wire”, “Put Him Through The Table”, “Dragon Sleeper”, “They’re Both Dead”, “Mandible Claw”, “Blood Everywhere”, “Holy Shit”, “He’s On Fire”, “#Pray4Mick”, “Get Well Soon Mick”, “Tiarnan Wants The Title”, “Cena-Tiarnan?”

Quick Results:

Women’s Tag Champs The Bella Twins def. Blondetourage
US Champ Jayzero won a 10 man scramble match
Tag Champs The Party Boyz def. Rated RKO
Women’s Champ Lacey Von Erich def. Angelina Love & Velvet Sky
Jessica & Daniel Bryan def. Maryse & The Miz
World’s Funkiest Man def. The Rock
Kaitlyn def. AJ in a bikini contest
John Cena def. World Champion Burke to win the title
Tiarnán def Mick Foley in an inferno match

[jayzero42690]

Amazing. The double Nut Buster on Alberto and Ricardo was the icing on the cake of me embarrassing the hell out of them for months. And lmao at Tarry and Brock being screwed over at the last minute. My two arch nemesis-es-si...


I noticed in your write up though you forgot to mention the part where the broadcast was hijacked and this aired:

[Tarry]

I was going to dedicate this to myself if I won the BP United States Championship, but obviously that didn't happen.

That doesn't stop it from being true though. So I dedicate this to myself for all my past, present, and future BP/NFA accomplishments:

[jayzero42690]

Too bad for you Tarry San, this isn't the movies. This is real life!



...ish

[Tarry]

Rumour has it Jaden Smith is taking my place in the rematch.

[jayzero42690]

Shit, now I'm scared

[Burke]

No Fatties Allowed Episode 65!

[Brandon]

No Fatties Allowed Episode 65!

Straight off Too Hot for TV, Sable thanked everyone who tuned in to the pay per view before moving on to address the person everyone was talking about: Tiarnán. The GM said that although the match was disturbing, Mick Foley knew what he was getting into and she had to reward Tiarnán, and she would do so by giving him what he wanted most . . . another opportunity at the World Championship against John Cena at Ho Surrender! Sable continued, stating that Cena and Tiarnán would select partners and meet in a tag team match in tonight's main event.

In our opening contest of the evening, the Bella Twins defended their Women's Tag Team Championship against the Funkadactyls. Although Naomi and Cameron had the unanimous support of the crowd and the World's Funkiest Man in their corner, it still wasn't enough and they fell to twin magic.

Backstage, Burke approached his fellow Scotsman, Drew McIntyre. Burke admitted that even though PROGRESS didn't go the way they planned, he still liked Drew. After all, Drew did stop him from marrying Kelly Kelly. Burke suggested they continue to work together as a tag team, which Drew eagerly agreed to.

Maxine entered Sable's office just as the GM was wrapping up a conference call with the board of directors regarding John Cena vs. Tiarnán at Ho Surrender. In light of Mick Foley's absence, Maxine offered her services to Sable, stating that the GM was overworked. Sable thought about Maxine's offer for a moment and smiled. She agreed to let Maxine work under her as her executive administrator, but only because she saw something of herself in the young woman.

Fresh off their win at Too Hot for TV, Daniel Bryan and Jessica made their way to the ring, hand in hand. While Bryan's opponent, THE Tarrynator, anticipated the start of their match, Daniel asked Jessica for a good luck kiss. The referee called for the bell, and while the love struck couple were busy sucking face, THE Tarrynator rolled D-Bry up for the quick win. With THE Tarrynator shouting "Yes!" up the ramp, Bryan shook his head disapprovingly at Jessica and left the ring by himself.

Ashley attempted to interview Cody Rhodes in the back, but the vain Superstar was only concerned with how he looked. When Cody caught Ashley rolling her eyes, he informed her that she was just jealous because he was more attractive than her. Overhearing Cody's insults, Jayzero interrupted the interview and told him to apologize, or else. Reluctantly, Cody mumbled an apology to Ashley and told the United States champion this wasn't over before sulking away.

After demanding a match, the team of Burke and Drew McIntyre were given one against the Tag Team Champions. Zack Ryder neutralized The Chosen One when Drew entered the ring to break up a pin on Burke, and with the referee distracted, Burke wrapped his chain around his knuckles and punched Jason in the face, securing the dirty victory. While McIntyre and Burke celebrated up the ramp, Ryder looked disappointed in his tag team partner, who was too busy favoring his bruised jaw to notice.

Backstage, AJ congratulated Kaitlyn on winning the Rookiest Diva contest, then the former interviewer stopped talking, averted her gaze, and walked away. Kaitlyn turned around to find herself face to face with the woman she body slammed at Too Hot for TV: Tiffany. Tiffany told Kaitlyn that her winning the bikini contest was a joke. "I didn't even know they made bikinis in size fat fuck!" Tiffany sneered, earning Beautiful Persons a hefty fine from the network. To Tiffany's surprise, Kaitlyn coolly asked "You mad?" before walking away, leaving a furious Tiffany behind.

Back in the arena, Lacey Von Erich put her Women's Championship on the line against Mickie James in a Bra & Panties match. Even without her Beautiful sisters, Lacey wasn't sweating (I heard she physically can't) Mickie. As soon as the bell rang Lacey slid out of the ring and Mickie pursued, only to be stomped when she chased Lacey back into the squared circle. Lacey removed Mickie's plaid shirt and twirled it over her head, allowing Mickie to recover and hit Von Erich with a Thesz press before tearing off her Beautiful People tee. With both girls all tied up, Mickie attempted her corner hurricanrana, but Lacey used the precarious position to her advantage and pulled Mickie's daisy dukes off for the win. The referee tried to raise Lacey's hand in victory, but she was much more interested in stripping off the rest of her clothes - until a jealous Mickie tried to attack her. Lacey grabbed her title and ran for the hills while the referee held Mickie back.

Maryse and The Miz were still arguing over their loss at Too Hot for TV backstage when The Miz had the nerve to point out that Maryse was the one who got pinned, sending Maryse into a French tirade. "You're breaking up with me?!?!" The Miz asked, understanding her native tongue. Maryse shrugged. "Au revoir, Maryse." The Miz gave her a scathing once over before storming off in the opposite direction. Once The Miz was out of sight, THE Tarrynator stepped out of the shadows. Having overheard them, he smiled.

John Cena stretched with Brandon backstage as they prepared to take on Tiarnán and Randy Orton. Cena thanked Brandon for teaming with him, but then remembered something. "Hey, shouldn't you be defending your European Championship? It's been 30 days, right?" Brandon crinkled his nose at the question. "I'm the European Champion?" Cena appeared dumbfounded before looking into the camera. "God bless America."

After a quick commercial break, both teams made their way to the ring and John Cena and Randy Orton began the match. After wearing Orton down, Cena made the tag to Brandon, who did the ole "You can't see me!" before hitting the Asstastic on Orton. While Brandon and Cena laughed over the move, Orton tagged in Tiarnán, who attacked the blonde from behind. Cena had no choice but to watch as Tiarnán forced Brandon to submit to the Dragon Sleeper. As soon as the bell rang Cena chased Tiarnán and Orton off, but when he kneeled down to check on his partner, Tiarnán slid into the ring and assaulted Cena from behind. After pounding on the World Champion, Tiarnán threw Cena out of the ring and gave him a Snap Reverse DDT on the concrete. With The Champ lying unconscious, Tiarnán hooked his thumb at the time keeper, who held the World Championship. "That belt is mine!" Tiarnán laughed manically as NFA faded out.

[Burke]

Ho Surrender is without a doubt the best PPV name yet.

I think my tag-team with Drew could work out. I can see the Sinister Scots wearing BP Tag-Team gold.

I love Maxine as Sable’s assistant. And lmao @ Tiffany and Kaitlyn’s segment.

[Tarry]

I'm sure I was just lurking in the shadows until Maryse was alone, because I wanted to enquire about some martial arts lessons. I'm sure she could help me strengthen my Crane Technique, and help me get back onto the road to the main event scene. Of course, I would have to spend a lot of time with her

[Burke]

No Fatties Allowed Episode 66!

[Brandon]

No Fatties Allowed Episode 66!

After impressing Sable last week, Burke and Drew McIntyre were granted another match against Zack Ryder and Jason. This time for the Tag Team Championship. With a mic in tow, Burke made his way down to the ring.

"Drew, gimme a beat!" (Drew began to beatbox out of rhythm as they made their way toward the ring.)

"The Sinister Scots up in here, gunning for that Tag-Team gold
We're the hottest thing out, the rest of y'all just cold!
We ain't got no competition, them Party Boyz is whack
Get ready to hand them titles, to me and my boy D-Mac!
You stay on the defense, but we always on the attack
For the second week running, I'm gone leave Jason laying flat on his back!
And Zack Ryder? We're supposed to take you seriously now??
Last week he was on Jersey Shore, getting his ass kicked by Snooki and JWoww!
You've been on top for a little while, but we're bout to kill that noise
So say hello to the new champs, and goodbye to the Party Boyz!"

The Party Boyz wanted nothing more than to shut the mouths of Burke and D-Mac, but for the second week in a row the challengers got the better of the champions. Although Jason managed to duck Burke's loaded punch this week, he didn't anticipated the Scot's low blow. By the time the referee turned around, Burke had Jason down for the count and new tag team champions were crowned.

While Burkeand Drew McIntyre celebrated up the ramp with their titles, Zack Ryder looked down at Jason (who was still favoring his family jewels) and shook his head. After helping Jason to his feet, Ryder jumped on his partner's shoulders and hit him with the Rough Ryder! Zack was booed all the way to the back while the official checked on Jason.

Backstage, THE Tarrynator surprised the recently single Maryse with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The French-Canadian bombshell was flattered and THE Tarrynator asked if she would like to accompany him to the ring for his match against her ex-boyfriend, The Miz. Maryse cordially accepted, slinking off arm in arm with THE Tarrynator.

Back in the arena, we saw a bit of friendly competition between Brandon and Dolph Ziggler, who was escorted to the ring by his girlfriend, Kelly Kelly, and her Blondetourage partner, Taryn Terrell. At one point Brandon pointed to Kelly before delivering the Asstastic, telling her to watch how he does it. After humiliating Dolph, Brandon allowed him to wobble out of the corner before licking his palm and hitting The Weapon of Ass Destruction for the win. Brandon helped Dolph to his feet afterward and the two shook hands.

Burke and Drew McIntyre were celebrating their championship victory when they were joined by another pair of tag champs - the Bella Twins! Nikki and Brie informed the Scots that they watched their match very closely, and they liked what they saw. With Brie nuzzling up to Burke and Nikki to Drew, the Bellas asked if they could join their party. The resounding pop of Burke's champagne bottle answered their question.

Elsewhere backstage, Jessica was wondering how she could make things up to Daniel Bryan when Tiffany approached. Instantly, Jessica put her guard up, but Tiffany insisted they talk. Tiffany regrettably informed Jessica that she saw Daniel flirting with Kaitlyn earlier, and it looked like Kaitlyn was moving in on her man. For a moment Jessica looked heartbroken, but that soon changed to rage and the redhead stormed off to find Daniel Bryan and Kaitlyn while Tiffany placed her hands on her hips and smirked.

Accompanied to the ring by Maryse, THE Tarrynator defeated The Miz in one on one competition. To be fair, The Miz was caught off guard when he saw Maryse with another man, and when he leaned out of the ring to criticize her for moving on so quickly, Maryse smacked him in the face with The Tarrynator's flowers! The Miz stumbled back into the ring and walked into a Tarrydise.

The Beautiful People were gossiping amongst themselves backstage when the Funkadactyls happened by. "Look, there they are." Lacey Von Erich giggled, just loud enough so they could hear. When Naomi and Cameron asked what was so funny, Lacey responded with, "Your match against the Bellas last week." Naomi reminded Velvet Sky and Angelina Love that they lost the tag titles to the twins, which set the Beautiful People off. The Beautiful People beat Cameron and Naomi down prison movie style until both Funkadactyls were unconscious.

By the time Jessica found Daniel Bryan, he was hitting on Kaitlyn, but the Rookiest Diva wasn't as receptive as Tiffany may have led Jessica to believe. Still, Jessica would have none of that. After calling Kaitlyn a slut, Jessica speared the blonde onto a nearby make up table and pounded her head against the surface until D-Bry pulled her off. Daniel admired Jessica's fury and kissed her then and there while the mischievous Tiffany watched from around the corner, admiring her handiwork.

Despite only defending the United States championship two weeks ago at Too Hot for TV, Jayzero put the title on the line against René Duprée, who was accompanied to the ring by Magnus. Jayzero clearly had nothing to worry about, because he took instant control of the match. At one point René crawled to the corner, hoping for sanctuary, but all he did was set Jayzero up for the Nut Buster. While Jayzero was busy thrusting away on his partner, Magnus climbed onto the ring apron and began arguing with the referee. With the official's back turned, Cody Rhodes ran down the ramp and slid into the ring, only to be sidestepped by Jayzero and sent crashing into Magnus. With Cody and Magnus neutralized, Jayzero pinned Duprée to retain the United States title.

John Cena made his way out to the ring next, and he asked Tiarnán to join him. Once Tiarnán complied, The Champ let Tiarnán know that he understands how badly he wants to be World Champion. So badly that he'd end Mick Foley's career. So badly that he'd attack another man from behind. So badly that he'd drive himself mad. Cena insisted that no matter how badly Tiarnán wants to be World Champion, come hell or high water, he's walking out of Ho Surrender, "Still the champ!" Tiarnán didn't appear to be paying John Cena any attention, and instead stared intently at the World Championship on his shoulder. When Tiarnán reached for it, Cena instinctively pulled away, but against his better judgment, he let Tiarnán take a closer look. Tiarnán examined the title closely. The one thing that had alluded him thus far in his storied career. Then, without warning, Tiarnán pulled the title back and clocked Cena with it, busting him wide open! Tiarnán laughed sadistically as he stood over John Cena's unconscious body and raised the bloodstained World Championship into the air.