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Post by Tiffany on Apr 11, 2011 17:22:57 GMT -5
This is not going to end well for me, is it?  |
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Post by Burke on Apr 13, 2011 16:34:15 GMT -5
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Post by Tiarnán on Apr 13, 2011 16:52:11 GMT -5
Thanks Burke! I'm enjoying this, lol. Sad that the fans didn't like Cody/Mercury more, but it's understandable 'cause Cody is still a heel.
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Post by Brandon on Apr 13, 2011 16:53:39 GMT -5
I object. I clearly had the match won after that tornado DDT. I demand a rematch.
I do like all of these storylines though. Probably the best job at utilizing everyone so far.
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Post by Burke on Apr 13, 2011 16:57:19 GMT -5
I'm so proud of MC getting her first stalker and all...but Magnus? You can do better.
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Post by Tarry on Apr 13, 2011 17:02:24 GMT -5
I've told you before, Mr. Aldis needs to be placed under my supervision so this sort of thing doesn't happen again.
Btw, I panicked when I read that Orton beat me in a match for my title... then I realised it was by DQ.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Apr 14, 2011 19:40:02 GMT -5
I can only assume that Edge has been reading this and the real reason he retired is so he can make a surprise return with me. He's brilliant. I'm so proud of MC getting her first stalker and all...but Magnus? You can do better. I really don't know what I was thinking dating him. By the way, I think I'm going to need my month pushed back some. |
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Post by jayzero42690 on Apr 15, 2011 1:02:27 GMT -5
Sweet. Loving Tiarnan's run so far. I like the wwe.com style results too. Adds more depth to the game. Can't wait to see what happens with Kelly. Though I'm not really worried as I suspect Astro is just going out with Kelly to get her to tell Justin Gabriel to shave.
When are you going to reveal the next PPV name?
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Post by Tiffany on Apr 15, 2011 2:45:12 GMT -5
here's a suggestion...
to keep up with the theme of the show being called 'No Fatties Allowed'™, i think the PPV names should reflect that as well. for instance:
Hell in a Cellulite
Fully Loaded Bloated
Pudgement Day
just off the top of my head.
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Post by Tiarnán on Apr 15, 2011 15:00:48 GMT -5
KK, here's part one, 'cause this one is longer and if I do the rest now I'm gonna miss American Idol.
No Fatties Allowed Episode 7
One week has passed since John Cena suffered a violent beatdown at the hands of the Beautiful Persons, and one would think that the notoriously narcissistic stable would at the very least offer an explanation with regards to why they carried out the horrific act, yes? Strangely, that wasn't quite the case: BeautifulPersons.com captured members Tiffany and Brandon entering the arena for this week's show on camera, but the duo failed to respond to our questions, instead opting to smile arrogantly and insist that our staff members simply "aren't worth the breath, tbph".
Whatever the case, Brandon found himself in one on one competition with Cena himself later on in the night, a match which had the potential to either launch Brandon to the top of the roster or provide the WWE Champion with the opportunity to get a little payback on the boyish blonde. Naturally, Brandon found himself accompanied to the ring by partner in crime, Tiffany, but even the combined effort of the two wasn't enough to take down the champ, who seemed to be one step ahead of his opponent throughout the entirety of the bout. The big story here is the ending: Cena seemed to be on the road to victory, when controversial BP member Burke entered the fray. Under the command of a screaming Tiffany, Burke grabbed Cena's World Championship and brought it into the ring. Apparently intending to clock Cena with it, Burke found himself taking out his BP co-member instead! In what one could only describe as a frozen state of horror, Burke watched as his faction's enemy covered Brandon for the three count.
Will Burke experience a backlash following this mishap? We already know that Tiffany isn't pleased, judging by the wide array of foul words and names thrown at Burke as the show came to a close, and we imagine Brandon won't be any more forgiving.
Meanwhile, in European Championship news, England's own THE Tarrynator opened the show this week with a boastful rant about how the continent of Europe should be proud to have a champion of such high class and caliber. According to Tarrynator, never before has the world of wrestling witnessed such a quick ascent to fame from a European competitor. Thus, Tarrynator announced that he was going to host an open challenge, just to prove how utterly correct his words were.
The Englishman wasn't at all happy when the theme music of Randy Orton hit, and the hottest man in wrestling himself made his way to the stage to the unmistakable sound of a synchronized moan of pleasure from the capacity crowd. Flustered, and yet apparently immune to the steamy allure of the Viper, Tarrynator declared that Orton must be a little confused, because "goodness gracious, the chap's not even from Europe!" Nonetheless, the match went ahead, and the proud Londoner (I forget where you're actually from, Tarry, so for now it's London) was horrified to discover that the raging warrior Randy had his number. After being positively dominated by the steamy Legend Killer, Tarrynator found an opportunity to poke his opposition directly in the eye and make a hasty sprint away from the ring. A confused referee deemed the match a count-out victory for Randy, although the tattooed Adonis didn't look at all happy with the result.
THE Tarrynator may not have fallen for the beauty of Randy Orton, but one person's beauty seems to be affecting manys a BP wrestler. The bubbly and bouncy Kelly Kelly found herself teaming with romantic interest Jason this week on No Fatties Allowed to take on eccentric buddies Worldsstrongestman and Layla in mixed tag team action (the latter team appeared to be taking a one-week break from Mark Henry and Michelle McCool respectively). In a competitive match, Kelly Kelly picked up the win for her team, although the ending wasn't one that BeautifulPersons.com imagines Jason was overly happy about. Rival for Kelly Kelly's love JayZero hit the ring in the closing moments of the match, and took out Layla with a vicious lariat closeline. A bemused (what else is new?) Kelly covered the English-Moroccan dancer for the three count, but things didn't quite end here.
Cameras quickly cut to the dressing room of Kelly Kelly, who was standing face to face with JayZero. Despite Kelly's best attempts to ask JayZero what the hell was going on, she couldn't get a word in. The entranced beau declared that there was no other man for her, and in spite of what anyone - including Jason, who so isn't meant for her, supposedly - said, the two of them are PERFECT for one another. According to Jayzero, he has Kelly's best interests at heart, and would do anything for her; unlike so many men in the past, he alone has "the ability and capacity to love a girl as beautiful as the Double K". At that, he kissed her, and surprisingly (or unsurprisingly? You decide), she kissed him back. Does Kelly feel as strongly as Jayzero obviously does? Will she be able to lay aside her clear feelings for Jason, or will they continue to be a factor in this budding relationship? Who will be the Pacey to Kelly's Joey, and who will be relegated to the Dawson role? Find out soon on No Fatties Allowed!
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Post by Tarry on Apr 15, 2011 15:32:45 GMT -5
I forget where you're actually from, Tarry, so for now it's London Lincolnshire or the Island Nation of Tarrydise will do tbh. |
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Post by Brandon on Apr 15, 2011 16:05:11 GMT -5
lol, "boyish blonde." Love it, once again.
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Post by jayzero42690 on Apr 15, 2011 16:07:53 GMT -5
Who will be the Pacey to Kelly's Joey, and who will be relegated to the Dawson role? LMAO this storyline is great. Although I can't help but feel 1988 isn't going to be too happy about me clocking his girl. |
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Post by Tiarnán on Apr 15, 2011 17:19:49 GMT -5
Part II:
For all of the remarks people have made in the past regarding the physical attributes and lifestyle choices of Molly Holly, one could never honestly criticise her wrestling ability. Proving just how skilled she is, the anti-Diva soundly defeated long-time rival Trish Stratus (and Michelle McCool, but we don't really care about her, do we?) in a triangle match to determine the number one contender for the Women's Championship.
Champion Maryse chose not to focus on her new challenger's wrestling ability however when the Québécois queen confronted Molly later in the night. Instead, Maryse was as arrogant as ever when she tore into the Miss Molly in a French/English rant, declaring her fat, unattractive, unsexy and "not nearly as glamorous as moi, naturellement." With a single hair flip she was off, leaving the ever-lovely Molly to hold back the tears which were quickly beginning to form. We at BeautifulPersons.com hope that someone can put an end to the platinum blonde diva's superiority complex sooner rather than later, and we think Molly may just be the woman to do that. Watch this space.
On the subject of the women's division, Jessica has certainly been on a role as of late. With title matches and victories left and right, it seems inevitable that the quirky brunette will rise to the top of the company in coming months. Nonetheless, even the most accomplished athletes find themselves involved in unfortunate and even disgust-inducing situations from time to time, and Jessica found herself in such a situation this week on No Fatties Allowed. The heart of all of this? Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin, of course. The self-proclaimed 'Chick Magnet' looked to attract Jessica, and in no way hesitated to tell her that "if you know what's good for you, you'll get on board the Mizard of Oz before he draws open your curtains" ([blue]Yeah, I know...shut up. [/blue]) The Miz wasn't expecting Jessica to laugh in his face, but that's exactly what he got. This prompted him to advance on her, but a tap on his shoulder caused him to turn around to find himself face to face with none other than Edge. The Rated 'R' Superstar simply looked at the former reality star in amusement mixed with disgust, forcing The Miz to turn back around only to walk right into an incredible slap from Jessica.
Finally, anyone following No Fatties Allowed over the last month or so realises that the relationship between Cody Rhodes and Tiarnán has been ever so slightly bumpy, if not completely and utterly fucked up. This week, BP.com cameras followed the really quite manic Tiarnán into Cody's dressing room, where he was quick to say that saving Cody from John Morrison and Melina last week was "absolutely no bother, and that he was totally welcome!", despite the 3rd Generation Star never exactly thanking Tiarnán in the first place. The overly-obsessive Irish star wasn't going to leave it at that though; naturally he stretched the boundaries a little, and proposed to Cody that the two should "so form a team" to help each other out in future. His request fell on deaf - or rather, unwilling - ears though, as Cody said that while it was awesome that Tiarnán helped him last week and all, he wants absolutely nothing to do with the guy in future. "Seriously bro, back the hell off. I'm not like that, no matter what that bitch Melina says, and frankly you're a total creep."
So as far as the audience could see, Cody Rhodes was going into his match with MNM member Joey Mercury alone, whilst Mercury was flanked by both Melina and Morrison. For all of his talent, young Rhodes wasn't able to fend himself from the A-List trio, and following a distraction from Melina and an impactful Snapshot from the boys, he was pinned by Mercury. The offensive onslaught didn't end there however: like last week, Rhodes was attacked after the match, this time with the additional force of another 'M'. The trio beat down the would-be 'Dashing' one for what seemed like hours, nailing three successive Snapshots and even an Edge and Christian-inspired con-chair-to, much to the crowd's horror. It was only after this that Tiarnán finally hit the ring, but at this point he was too late: MNM bailed, but the damage was done. Heartbroken at the sight of his shattered hero, Tiarnán knelt down over Cody and sobbed, "I'm so sorry, Cody...I didn't mean to..." over and over again. Cody failed to respond to his fan's croaks, and the show faded to commercial after a close-up of Melina's disgustingly satisfied facial expression. What a bitch.
Results:
European Championship: Randy Orton d. THE Tarrynator (c) via count out
Molly Holly d. Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool to become number one contender to the Women's Championship
Joey Mercury (w/Melina & John Morrison) d. Cody Rhodes
Jason & Kelly Kelly d. Worldsstrongestman & Layla
World Champion John Cena d. Brandon (w/Tiffany) via DQ
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Post by Burke on Apr 15, 2011 20:04:58 GMT -5
Seriously, this is great. Putting my shit to shame tbh. Will Burke experience a backlash following this mishap? We already know that Tiffany isn't pleased, judging by the wide array of foul words and names thrown at Burke as the show came to a close, and we imagine Brandon won't be any more forgiving. I’m sure Brandon will take it all in good spirits actually. In fact, I’m almost certain that when all is said and done we’ll both be laughing at the dent I put in his nose with that errant chair shot. |
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