BPW 2018

[Brandon]

Superstar Shake-up

The Superstars of NFA and FNBF return this week, but not all of them will be on the same brand. A number of trades have taken place over the Christmas break, and will be in effect when NFA airs this Wednesday.



The following Superstars have switched from NFA to FNBF:

• Drew Gulak
• Jayzero
• Jessica
• Naomi
• Roman Reigns

Additionally, the following Superstars have switched from FNBF to NFA:

• Brian Kendrick
• Cedric Alexander
• Charlotte
• Dana Brooke
• Emma
• Jason
• Seth Rollins

[Tarry]

Happy New Year, and welcome to NFA! Matt Striker & Nigel McGuinness greet us as always, with Striker saying, "Baby New Year has taken his first steps, and as he begins to grow, NFA will also grow with him." "You're right there, Matt," Nigel replies, "We're only getting bigger and better in 2018!"

Catrina leads the new NFA World Heavyweight Champion, Mil Muertes, to ring. We get a brief recap of Mil Muertes ending The Man's streak at the end of last year to win the NFA World Heavyweight Championship. Catrina has a microphone in hand, "The prophecy has come to pass and now Mil Muertes finally stands before you with what has always belonged to him." Mil Muertes lifts the NFA World Heavyweight Championship belt above his head as boos rain down. Suddenly, Kevin Owens' music hits the speakers, and here he comes! Owens climbs into the ring and stands face-to-face with Mil Muertes. "How dare you interrupt this momentous occasion!" Catrina snaps, but Owens shushes her and raises a microphone to his mouth. "So, you're the new champ, huh?" he asks, clearly pretending that he's never heard of the man that he's previously done battle with, "Well I'm the new number one contender, pleased to meet you!" "You want a shot at Mil Muertes' championship?" "Lady, I'm taking your guy's title tonight, proving to everyone that his title reign is just the warm up act for The Kevin Owens Show," KO says, turning his attention back to Mil Muertes, "And when I'm done with you, big boy, you're gonna to have a reason to wear that mask." "On your head be it, Kevin Owens, because this night could very well end with me reading you your last rites," Catrina says, stepping up to KO. She leads Mil Muertes out of the ring and to the back. Mil Muertes vs. Kevin Owens for the NFA World Heavyweight Championship is our main event! You don't want to miss this!

The NFA Women's Champion, Becky Lynch, makes her way to the ring to defend her newly won championship. The BPW Universe chants her name as her opponent's music hits the speakers. There's no sign of Ronda Rousey as Bad Reputation continues to play through the arena. The music eventually fades out and JoJo makes an announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that Ronda Rousey is currently filming a movie with Mark Wahlberg and therefore isn't able to compete here today. Therefore, your winner by forfeit and still NFA Women's Champion, Becky Lynch!" Becky halfheartedly celebrates her sorta win until she's interrupted by familiar music. Are we about to have the first appearance of a newly traded Superstar? We are! Emma and Dana Brooke make their way out onto the stage and head down the ramp. Emma grabs a microphone from ringside and enters the ring. "Congratulations on your 'win', Becky," Emma says, squaring up to the champ. "What do you want, Emma?" "No, not Emma, I don't need a stage name anymore, I'm better than that," she replies, "My name is Tenille Dashwood, and I'm coming for your title!" Dana Brooke clocks Becky Lynch in the side of the head with a clubbing forearm, knocking the champion to the mat. TnD stomp away on Becky, sending a clear message, until they attack comes to an abrupt haunt when Charlotte Flair rushes out to the ring! Oh my god! Charlotte helps Becky Lynch back to her feet and the two Horsewomen fight back against Tenille and Dana! Becky and Charlotte rush towards TnD and send them toppling over the ropes with a dual clotheslines! Charlotte and Becky hug in the centre of the ring as Tenille Dashwood and Dana Brooke make their exit in frustration.

Batista's music hits the speakers as the C.E.O. of BPW makes a surprise appearance here tonight! Batista has the NFA Tag Team Championship belts draped over his shoulders, what's all this about? "It is with regret that I must inform you that due to NFA not having a proper authority figure over the holiday period, Tyler Bate's contract expired and he has been snapped up by FNBF, which means that as of right now, the NFA Tag Team Championships are vacant!" Batista explains, "However, as you already know from the announcement earlier this week, I've implemented some trades between NFA and FNBF in an effort to balance the rosters and keep things fresh." "Aaaawwww, BPW Universe! Don't you dare be sour! Clap for your world famous 2 time champs, and FEEEEL the POWAH! It's a New Day, yes it is!" The former NFA Tag Team Champions, Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods make their way to the ring to a huge pop. "Now you've got a predicament on your hands, and it's up to ya bois - The New Day! - to solve it for you," Kofi says. "You need new N-F-A-WORLD-TAG-TEAM-CHAMPIONS! and we have a suggestion for you!" Woods adds. "If you're going to ask me to name your champions, then that's not going to happen," Batista replies. The New Day huddle up for a quick, quiet discussion. "Noooo, we weren't going to ask you to do thaaaaaat," Kofi and Xavier say at the same time. "We were, we were, erm ..." Woods continues, trying to think. "You should SPIN! THE! DIAL!" Big E exclaims to a huge pop. "That's right! A tournament featuring teams decided by The Dial of Destiny, and ya bois The New Day, with the winners receiving the NFA Tag Team Championships!" Kofi explains. "Y'know, I like that idea," Batista says with a grin on his face, "Does this concept have a name?" The New Day huddle up again as they think of names, until Big E breaks away prematurely and says, "The New Day's Tag Team Palooza! (Presented by The Dial of Destiny)" Batista laughs at the name, but then says, "I like it, we'll go with that." The New Day drag Batista into an impromptu New Day dance party, complete with hip gyrations and twerking, until Batista ruins the mood, "And guys, just so you know, The Authors of Pain will join you in the tournament as the only other currently established team." Batista exits the ring, leaving The New Day stunned.

After a brief commercial break hyping the first FNBF of the year, we join the NFA Women's Intercontinental Champion, Taya Valkyrie, in the ring. "You may be wondering where my fiancé, Johnny Mundo, is tonight. Well wonder no longer, because he's at home looking after the dog, and that's where he'll remain for the foreseeable future," she explains, "I've proven that I can win big matches without his help, and I'm going to continue doing that. That's why I'm issuing a non-title open challenge right now! Who's woman enough to step up to the Mayoress of Slamtown?" There's complete silence for a few moments until Shayna Baszler's music hits the speakers! Shayna makes her way to the ring and gets right up in Taya's face. There's a referee in the ring, and this one is official! Taya ducks a right hand and follows up by taking out Baszler's legs. Taya attempts a Double Stomp, but Shayna rolls out of the way. Shayna backs to her feet and shoots a takedown! She mounts Taya and drops a forearm before attempting an armbar, but Taya grabs hold of the rope to break the hold. Shayna drags Taya to her feet and tosses her with the Two of a Kind, but Taya counters the second Gutwrench Suplex into a German Suplex of her own! Taya retains her grip on Shayna, lifting her back to her feet to transition into a Northern Lights Suplex! Taya pins Shayna's shoulders to the mat, but Shayna kicks out and immediately locks in a Rear Naked Choke! She squeezes tightly as it becomes apparent that Taya has no way of escaping. Taya Valkyrie is forced to tap out to Shayna Baszler in this non-title match! Shayna's celebration is cut short when Asuka's music hits the speakers. The Empress of Tomorrow makes her way out onto the stage to a pop as she stares down Shayna Baszler.

We cut to the back to find Dalton Castle and The Boys opening their mail. "What's this?" Dalton asks inquisitively, "Ah, it's a letter from my love!" Dalton reads the letter with an over eager expression that suddenly drops into a look of confusion, which then itself turns to the face of a man who has just had his heart broken. "Oh, Boys! Jessica's leaving me, she's leaving us all!" he cries out, clutching at his chest, "Hold me, my Boys!" The Boys comfort Dalton Castle as the screen fades to black.

TJP is in the ring ready for singles action. His opponent? The NFA Zero Limits Champion, Pentagon Jr.! Pentagon makes his way to the ring to a pop from the bloodthirsty portion of the BPW Universe who are dying to see Pentagon Jr. rip TJP limb from limb. The bell sounds and TJP tries to take advantage by blind sighting Pentagon, but the Zero Limits Champion fights back by delivering a stiff kick to the leg of TJP! Pentagon follows up with a Superkick that nearly knocks TJP out of his boots! Pentagon drags his opponent to his feet and delivers the Fear Factor, but he's not done yet, as he grabs the arm of TJP and applies The Sacrifice! TJP is tapping out, but that doesn't stop Pentagon Jr. from wrenching back on his arm, possibly breaking it in two! Pentagon Jr. celebrates with the NFA Zero Limits Championship, but The Singh Brothers make their way out onto the stage to put a halt to that. The Singh Brothers, both wearing slings after the attack they suffered at the hands of Pentagon Jr. last year, gesture to the back to single the arrival of Jinder Mahal, but he's nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Jinder Mahal slides into the ring and ambushes Pentagon Jr. with a brain scrambling forearm to the back of the head! The Singh Brothers make their way down to ringside, and on Jinder's orders, retrieve a table from under the ring. They slide it in and awkwardly set it up with one arm each as Jinder stomps away on Pentagon to keep him grounded. With the table finally set up, Mahal drags Pentagon Jr. to his feet and drives him through it with the Khallas! The Singh Brothers present Jinder Mahal with a microphone after the attack, "I am the Modern Day Maharaja," he says with a sick smile on his face, "And I have zero fear!" Jinder laughs maniacally as we cut to commercial.

After commercial we join The White Rabbit Following in their locker room. Paul London is standing in the middle of a circle made up of Mike & Maria Kanellis and The Authors of Pain. "Last night The White Rabbit came to me in a dream and The White Rabbit told me that they're delighted with the work we've been doing as of late," Paul London says, grinning from ear to ear, "Which is why The White Rabbit has decided to reveal themselves to in the near future, but in return, we must be ready to do whatever The White Rabbit asks of us." "The White Rabbit gave us the gift of true love," Maria says, gazing at her beloved, "We'll do anything for The White Rabbit!" "The White Rabbit allows us to dish out pain on a regular basis," Akam adds, "We'll do whatever is necessary for The White Rabbit!" "And The White Rabbit gave me the ability to be able to see beyond this mortal realm," Paul London replies, "I will do anything and everything for The White Rabbit!" The White Rabbit Following begin swaying in a circle around Paul London as he leads a chant of, "Follow The White Rabbit!"

It's now time for our main event and this one is for the NFA World Heavyweight Championship! Kevin Owens makes his way out first as he gets set to try to become the first man to win the FNBF Universal Championship and the NFA World Heavyweight Championship. Catrina leads Mil Muertes and Finn Bálor out onto the stage, before stopping to send Bálor to the back. It seems she wants Mil Muertes to do this alone. We get the formal announcements from JoJo as the referee holds the NFA World Heavyweight Championship in the air for all to see. The bell rings and Kevin Owens immediately dashes towards Mil Muertes, connecting with a Cactus Clothesline that sends both men crashing to the floor! KO grabs Mil, no doubt setting up for an apron Powerbomb, but Mil Muertes counters with a back body drop. Mil Muertes sets up for The Reaper's Trident, but Owens sidesteps, sending Mil crashing into the steel steps! Owens rolls Mil Muertes back into the ring and attempts a Running Senton, but Mil Muertes gets his knees up to block it. The champion and challenger get back to their feet at the same time. Mil Muertes runs at KO and delivers a tilt-a-whirl head scissors! A shocking manoeuvre for a man of his size to pull off! Mil Muertes grabs KO by the throat and pulls him back to his feet. He looks set to deliver a Chokeslam, but Owens fights out and delivers a Superkick, resulting in Mil Muertes taking a seat in the corner. Kevin Owens immediately follows up with the Cannonball Senton! Owens grabs Mil Muertes and calls for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but as he sends Mil into the ropes, he inadvertently collides with the referee, knocking the referee out of the ring. Kevin Owens takes advantage by delivering a low blow to Mil Muertes before calling for the Pop-Up Powerbomb again. Owens' attention is drawn to the stage as Jason makes his return to NFA, strutting down the ramp. KO yells at Jason to leave, but he refuses, telling him it's a free country. Suddenly, Seth Rollins slides into the ring and attacks Owens from behind! He grabs him by the arm and pulls him in to deliver a devastating King's Landing to the jaw of KO! Owens stumbles backwards, only to be caught by Mil Muertes who drives him into the mat with The Flatliner! Mil Muertes makes the cover as Jason revives the referee. 1 ... 2 ... 3! Mil Muertes rolls to the outside with his championship and leaves with Catrina as Seth Rollins and Jason stand over Kevin Owens in the ring. Jason hands Seth a microphone, "This move to NFA is going to give Jason and I the opportunity to redesign, rebuild, and reclaim our former glory," he says, taking a pause to kick Kevin Owens in the gut, "And then we're going to burn this place to the ground and make love in it's ashes!" Rollins throws the microphone over his shoulder and grabs hold of Jason, treating the NFA audience to one of their patented, passionate celebrations as the first show of 2018 comes to a close.

[Burke]

Owens calling Catrina “lady” and Mil “big boy” was perfect.

Emma Tenille getting passed around these shows like Cena with RAW/SD irl lately. Not her and Dana getting immediately shut down by the Horses.

Anything with Palooza in its title is bound to be a success. Batista dancing with the New Day! He probably tore a muscle.

Shayna may as well fight on behalf of Ronda at this point.

It’s 2018 and Jessica is breaking up with her man by sending a letter in the mail.

TJP getting his arm broken might be even more satisfying that when it happened to Dolph. I hope Pentagon destroyed his video game collection too just to make it even more of a tragedy for ole TJ.

The White Rabbit getting mentioned more than anyone on the show. I wonder who it actually is.

Owens powerbombing Rollins at Bragging Rights lead to something after all!

Oh, no The Man on the show. I hope his streak ending hasn’t caused him to sink into a deep depression like Maryse did upon losing her Divas Championship.

[Jayzero]

Hm, I never thought I'd be able to picture a face Kevin Owens, but now I can see it. #TeamKO

Emma's name change is going to take some getting used to.

Lmao @ Batista being a buzzkill. I wonder what teams we'll see formed in the Tag Team Palooza. Could we be on the cusp of a new Breezango or New Age Outlaws?

Poor Morrison. I was hoping Asuka would knock out Taya to send a message.

Oh no! Poor Dalton. At least he still has his boys.

Not TJP being injured a day after returning from injury irl. Penty is ruthless. India #1!

I feel with the use of the word "they" the White Rabbit will be a female. I wonder who it could be... 

Leave it to Jason to ruin everything. I'm as disgusted by them as JR @ Edge & Lita. You damn harlot.

[Brandon]

I'm still in shock that Mil Muertes defeated The Man on the last NFA show of the year. That was so brilliant, you timed it just right, because I think we had all just given up on it happening lol.

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Kevin Owens
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

Emma is the queen of having an identity crisis, let me tell you. But yesss, finally, Charlotte and Becky have been united in BPW.



The visual of Batista gyrating and twerking. You really know your audience.



Johnny Mundo being demoted to a stay-at-home husband. 💀 Is Taya about to become the Alexa Bliss of NFA, where she has a hot push that quickly dries up? Lol. And just for the record, I'm okay with ignoring Asuka's losses last year if the rest of you are. And I'm excited to see what Shayna brings to the division. You have a lot of star players.

Jessica breaking up with Dalton off-screen via a letter a la Kimberly and Tommy in Power Rangers. That's cold.

I was certain TJP would be released, but I see you wanted to give him a proper send off first, lol.

Alexa's gonna be The White Rabbit and this entire universe and everyone in it are all figments of her imagination.

You already write Seth Rollins wayyyy better than I ever did, lol. And thank you, for returning Jason to his former glory. Burke would've fed him to KO to kick off a feud with Seth. 😒 But I can tell you get the vision and he's gonna be in good hands.

Jan 3, 2018 14:38:16 GMT -5 Burke said:

Oh, no The Man on the show. I hope his streak ending hasn’t caused him to sink into a deep depression like Maryse did upon losing her Divas Championship.

Add him to the Divas Inspired by Maryse thread.

[Brandon]

(co-written by Brandon & Jayzero)

    Our show cold opens with the CEO of BPW, Batista, sitting behind his desk at our corporate office via satellite. Dressed in a designer suit and shades, Batista greets the BPW Universe. "I wanted to take a minute of your time to address the state of Friday Night Bitch Fight." Batista says that after reviewing the numbers from Q4, it's obvious that some changes needed to be made. For starters, he's done a complete overhaul of the writing team, which was the primary complaint among fans. And due to poor ratings whenever the likes of Triple H or Chris Jericho were on screen, he’s signed some new blood to the brand, and ensures us that these young, up and comers will be met with plenty of opportunities. And finally, after the massive disappoint of Hardcore XXXmas (or should I say, Not-So-Hardcore, Kinda XXXmas), he's come up with some new themed pay-per-views – that will actually deliver a theme. With that, Batista says that it's a new year, and a new FNBF. "Let's make FNBF great again." Batista smirks, giving a thumbs up as we fade out into our intro.

    We're live from the arena now, where The Miz and Maryse are standing in the ring for the 2018 season premier of Miz TV! Maryse is rocking a golden dress that makes her look like a sparkling glass of champagne as The Miz wishes everyone a happy new year. Miz says everyone likes to say, "New year, new me." but they're both perfectly happy being their old selves, because they couldn't possibly get any better. But speaking of new, with the new year comes new superstars to FNBF, including his guest tonight. A man some say is the biggest acquisition in the BPW draft: The Big Dog, Roman Reigns! Reigns makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. The Miz welcomes Roman to FNBF and asks what resolutions he has planned now that he's on the A-List show. What does he want to accomplish? Roman says there isn't going to be a resolution, it's going to be a revolution, because he's simply there to take over and become Universal Champion. This ring is his yard, and now FNBF is his show. The Miz says that's a cute sound bite, but everybody knows that FNBF is already The Miz's show. The Miz questions what Roman has ever actually accomplished on the B show? He really doesn't know, because he doesn't watch it (it interferes with their spa night). He knows he never beat The Man, so he wasn't really the "top dog" while on NFA, and he's never been the most popular guy in the BPW Universe. The Miz wonders if the big dog is all bark and no bite? Roman smirks and says that's cute coming from a guy with a talk show and no title. Roman says he and The Miz haven't really crossed paths yet, so it's okay that he doesn't know who he's talking to. He can tell The Miz is the type of guy who's so into himself he doesn't pay attention to what's happening around him. But if he keeps running his mouth, it may just come back to bite him in the ass, and he'll see just how little bark Roman is made of. It'll be a severe wake up call, or in the The Miz's case, maybe more of a knockout. "Really?" The Miz replies, completely unimpressed, as Maryse rolls her eyes and chuckles next to her husband. "Really?! I understand you're new here, but I don't think-” The Miz is interrupted by a surprise Superman Punch from Roman in a seated position, knocking Miz out of his chair onto the floor! Maryse gasps and steps back the to the ropes behind the set for safety as The Miz rolls around on the floor, slowly rising to his feet, clutching his jaw. "You're right, Miz. You don't think." Roman mocks as he sets up for another full powered Superman Punch, knocking The Miz out cold as Maryse screams in terror. The BPW Universe pops huge for Roman as he lifts an unconscious Miz back into his chair and dusts off his suit, placing The Miz's broken glasses back on his face for him. Roman then grabs The Miz's lips and puppets them. "Thank you for watching Miz TV!" He mocks in a light voice before dropping the mic and leaving the ring. Maryse runs back to her husband's side, scowling at Roman as he backs up the ramp, kissing the air in her direction and smirking at his handy work.

    Backstage, we see The Carter Family standing in Dixie's office, talking among themselves. The audience boos, but those sounds shift to cheers when the Universal Champion, Jeff Hardy steps into frame. "You wanted to see me?" Jeff asks. "Jeff, it's so good to see you!" Dixie says, leaning in to hug him. Behind her, EC3 and Tiffany share dubious smirks. Dixie says that first, she wants to congratulate Jeff on his big win at Hardcore XXXmas 3D. "I would have congratulated you sooner, but well, we were busy celebrating Ethan's even bigger win." She beams, placing her hand on her nephew's shoulder. EC3 gives a cocky half smirk and shrugs like it was nothing. "Right on." Jeff nods, unfazed by her remark. Dixie reminds Jeff that due to their win, The Carter Family are now in complete control of FNBF, and well, she's just not sure if Jeff fits her image for the show. To be the face of their brand, she was thinking someone more along the lines of... well, her nephew! So he'll be meeting EC3 in the main event tonight, with the title on the line. "So, just like that, you're gonna give him a title shot?" Jeff asks; disappointed, but not surprised. He reminds them that he actually had to earn his title shot. EC3 proudly retorts by telling Jeff that he's never had to earn a thing in his life. Whatever he wants, he gets. With that said, he smirks down at Tiffany and she places her hand on his chest, flashing her engagement ring. With The Carter Family smirking at him, Jeff shakes his head and leaves to prepare for their match.

    Jeff Hardy wasn't the only new champion crowned at Hardcore XXXmas 3D, though. Across the arena, McKenzie Mitchell is standing by with the Women's Champion, Ember Moon. McKenzie congratulates Ember on a hard fought victory at Hardcore XXXmas 3D. Ember says that it was a long road to get to the Women's Championship, but the BPW Universe was behind her every step of the way. She dedicates her big win to the fans, and promises not to let them down. And in the middle of their interview – Laurel Van Ness emerges behind them, grinning with smeared lipstick. She's still wearing that nasty ass wedding dress from two months ago! McKenzie is startled once she notices Laurel, and Ember glares at her distrustfully. Laurel slurs that she should be Women's Champion, not Ember, but she was distracted. "You?!" Ember asks in disbelief, unable to suppress a laugh. Ember says that if Laurel thinks she deserves to be the champ, she'll give her a chance to take it from her next week. Because before she was rudely interrupted, she was about to say that she welcomes all challengers, and she returns a mischievous smile of her own before sauntering off, leaving Laurel with a visibly uncomfortable McKenzie.

    Back in the ring, one of the newest additions to our roster is standing by with a megaphone. "Hello! My name is Drew Gulak!" Drew says that he's been drafted from NFA to lead the way for a better "Friday Night... B-Word Fight," and he's brought along a PowerPoint presentation of how he intends to do so. The audience boos as Drew gestures to the tron, but instead of his slideshow being played, John Cena's theme is! Drew is flabbergasted by the Television Champion's interruption, and it looks like we're kicking this year off with a bang, because it's time for him to squash yet another up-and-coming young talent, which he ultimately does by powering out of a Gu-Lock and transitioning it into an AA. Welcome to Friday nights, Drew!

    Backstage, we see FNBF newcomers and real-life couple, Johnny Gargano and Candice LeRae arriving to the arena. Johnny tells Candice that he'll see her later, and gives her a kiss on the cheek before heading to the men's locker room. He's only gone for a beat when the camera spins around to reveal The Iconic Duo approaching, pointing at Candice and giggling. The former co-Women's Champions roast Candice's hair and clothing, and even her scrawny husband, but Candice claps backs, telling them that that's a lot of talk coming from two women who're fresh off of a title loss. This sets Billie and Peyton off and they start raising their voices at Candice and talking over one another until she can't get a word in edgewise, but Billie is suddenly shoved from behind by another new addition to the FNBF roster: Jessica! Billie dramatically stumbles into Peyton, who throws her arms protectively around Billie while simultaneously hiding behind her, and Billie clutches her heart and gasps like Jessica's just pulled a gun on her. Jessica warns The Iconic Duo that she's also on FNBF now, so if they wanna mess with Candice, they'll have to go through her. The Iconic Duo emphatically decline her offer and back away, still clinging on to one another. Jessica places her hand on Candice's shoulder and asks if she's okay. Candice assures her that she is, thanking Jessica for her help.

    Elsewhere backstage, Sister Taryn has her nose buried in the good book when she's approached by Father William and Sister Thea. Taryn smiles upon seeing them, and Father William says it's good to see her. Sister Thea looks away, rolling her eyes and smacking her gum. Father William says he wishes Taryn could have joined them on holiday, where they saw such sights as the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel Tower, and the Sphinx (the Las Vegas Strip versions...). Taryn suppresses a smirk and she says that it's okay, because she had a little work to see to over Christmas break. "The Lord's work, no doubt." Father William says. With that, he asks if they're ready to head to the ring and the ladies concur; each taking an arm that he so chivalrously offers them. Father William vs. Jason Jordan is up next!

    After a commercial break, we return to find Father William warming up in the ring. Jason Jordan's music hits to a lukewarm reception, and as he makes his way down the ramp, a pre-taped promo of Jordan airs, stating that it's a new year filled with new opportunities, and he's stepping out on his own as a solo competitor to go after them. The ref calls for the bell and Father William offers to shake hands in a show of good sportsmanship. Jason accepts, and Father William kicks him in the gut and pulls him into a side headlock. Smh. After several minutes, Father William is in firm control of the match, but that all begins to change as ICE agents file down to the ring. An agent inaudibly questions Sister Thea, who gets an attitude with him. Father William approaches the ropes and asks what this is all about - allowing Jordan to roll him up for the one-two-three! The audience pops, but Jason doesn't hang around to celebrate. Father William is irate, and outside the ring, the ICE agent whose been questioning Sister Thea pulls out a pair of handcuffs! Sister Thea screams and crawls in the ring, hiding behind Father William to protect her. As ICE agents surround them, he demands to know what's going on here. Right on cue, Sister Taryn clears her throat. She's grabbed a microphone, and as she makes her way up the steel steps and into the ring, she reveals that over the break, she did a little digging. It turns out that Sister Thea is a fraud! "Her real name is Zelina Vega, and she's an immigrant who's living in this country illegally!" Taryn shockingly reveals. Having been exposed, Zelina roars and spears Taryn, and the fans jump to their feet at the sight of two nuns beating the hell out of each other. Taryn's robe even gets torn off in the scuffle, revealing a lavender lingerie set underneath. Oh my! This prompts Father William to inject himself, and he gropingly pulls Taryn off of Zelina, which allows the ICE agents to step in and arrest her. Once Father William sets Taryn down, she turns around and slaps the hell out of him! Father William raises his finger to make a point, but he's too dumbstruck to speak. Picking her mic back up, Taryn says that her work isn't finished. Because Father William is a sexual predator and a cult leader, and he's going to pay for all he's put her through! Taryn tackles Father William and starts beating the hell out of him! He manages to push her off and roll out of the ring, but Taryn is hot on his heels, and she chases him all the way to the back; the two of them running past a kicking and screaming Zelina Vega as she's taken away. What the hell have we witnessed?!?

    Backstage, we see a shot of a particularly plump ass in a pair of dress pants. As the camera pulls back, it’s revealed to be – you guessed it! – Tony Nese. He's also wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a tie. He's going over some paperwork with our General Manager, Dixie Carter, and she nods in approval. "Perfect, Tony. If you could fax these finalized contracts to the Board of Directors, that'd be great." Tony says he's on it, but pauses on his way out. He thanks Dixie for the opportunity to be her assistant. "I'm really looking forward to working under you." Tony says. Flustered by his wording, Dixie giggles. "So am I, Tony." she agrees, checking his ass out as he finally turns to leave; even biting her fingertip and grinning.

    Over in the interview area, Ariane Andrew is standing by with on of FNBF's newest acquisitions, one half of the former NFA Tag Team Champions: Tyler Bate! Bate twirls at the tip of his mustache, telling Ariane that FNBF just secured the hottest, most talented, technically gifted, and charismatic superstar in BPW. Tyler's attention is caught by something off camera, and he rolls his eyes as Jayzero walks into frame. "Thank you, for that amazing introduction!" Jay boasts. Jay reveals that he is in fact a proud new member of the FNBF roster, so people finally have a reason to watch this show again. Ariane begins to lose interest in the segment as she looks around to producers. "Can I get some hot tea? I was told there would be tea." Jay ignores Ariane and tells Tyler he knows they got off on the wrong foot on NFA, but FNBF could be a new leaf for them. After all, they're both young, talented, and incredibly good looking. Ariane gives Jay stank eye at his last note. Jay tells Tyler they don't have their old partners standing between them anymore. They can get together and go hard on all the members of the FNBF roster; they should be partners. Tyler is surprised by Jay's offer. "Wow... so you really think I'm incredibly good looking?" "That's not exactly what I..." Jay tries to interject. "No, no, and you said that you want to get together and go hard on people?" Tyler questions. "I meant like, in the ring, man!" Jay tries to clarify. Tyler tells Jay he knows there were rumors that swirled around backstage about Jay and Roderick Strong's "partnership," and Tyler is a millenial, so he's obviously all for people being happy, but that's just not his style. "I don't like your face." Tyler says with a sympathetic smirk. "You think you're funny, Tyler?" Jay yells as Bate walks off. "You think you're funny?! Then why don't we keep this thing going in the ring, and we'll see if you're still laughing when you're laying on the mat, on your back, with me, on TOP!" Jay looks around for a moment, realizing what he said, before storming off. Ariane looks back into the camera, "Now that's the tea."

    We return to the ring now and Tiarnán's theme hits. He makes his way down the ramp to a fair reaction, but his opponent, Tye Dillinger, gets an even bigger pop when he comes out. Ouch! The two shake hands before the match, and proceed to treat the fans to an entertaining bout. At one point, it looks like Dillinger will pick up the win with a Tye Breaker, but Tiarnán wiggles free and lands on his feet behind him, where he hits a Sunset Split for the one-two-three. The ref raises Tiarnán's hand in victory and most of the fans clap politely, but there's a mixture of boos in there as well. Yikes! Tiarnán continues to smile like he doesn't hear them, but his eyes tell a different story. It seems the BPW Universe feel he's growing stale...

    Backstage, Scott Dawson enters the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He's going through his bag when a voice calls out from the showers, "It's about time you showed up." Dawson stops, but shrugs and keeps going through his things. "Hurrrry, the water's gonna get cold!" the voice whines. Dawson furrows his brow and looks over at the showers, but shakes his head and continues going through his bag. He starts to make his way to the showers when this time the voice says, "Fine, if you're not gonna come to me, I guess I'll come to you." The shower curtain is pulled back, revealing a buck nekkid Brandon! But thanks to a strategic camera angle over Dawson's shoulder, you can't see anything. Upon realizing that it's Dawson, Brandon's jaw drops. He thought it was Dash! Brandon screams and snatches Dawson's towel to cover himself. Dawson instantly covers himself with his hands before we can see anything, but Brandon catches a glimpse, and his eyes widen on sight. Dawson looks around before ultimately climbing into the shower with Brandon, trying to cover himself behind the curtain. Again Brandon screams, shouting at Dawson to get out. Ater a silhouetted commotion behind the curtain, Dawson is pushed outside and his towel is thrown back to him. Awkward!

    Back in the arena, the lights dim and a familiar entrance theme hits, signaling that it's glow time! Naomi dances her way out on stage and slides down the ramp, and the audience is hype af when she jumps over the top rope and breaks it down in the ring, whipping her neon tips around. Once her music dies down and the lights return to normal, Naomi takes a mic and reveals the obvious: she's jumped ship from NFA to FNBF! She says she's brought her glow to Friday nights, and it's only a matter of time until the other women, and that Women's title, feel it. On that note, a shriek rings throughout the arena and Paige's theme hits. Naomi looks to the stage in confusion as Paige steps out, posing and skipping whimsically to the ring. "Hold on, sweetheart." Paige says in her Norfolk accent. She tells Naomi that she's getting wayyy ahead of herself. She's not just gonna twerk her way to the front of the line, and if she thinks she's going to, well... someone might have something to say about it. Thinking Paige is referring to herself, Naomi beckons her to step up then, but instead, she's blasted from behind by Mandy Rose and Liv Morgan! It seems the rarely seen FNBF stars aren't gonna stand by and let their spotlight be absorbed to feed Naomi's glow, so they're out here to extinguish it. Once the damage has been done, Paige steps in and pulls Naomi to her feet, planting her with a Ram-Paige. She then raises Mandy and Liv's arms as they stand over Naomi's sprawled out body, soaking in the BPW Universe's boos. Dammit, Paige! Why?!

    Backstage, we see Dixie Carter typing up an e-mail when there's a knock on her door. She tells whoever it is to come in, and she slowly rises to a stand when Stephanie McMahon enters the shot. Off Dixie's expression, Stephanie immediately puts her hands up. "Dixie, please. I just wanna talk." Stephanie tells her. Dixie crosses her arms. "I'm listening." she says. Stephanie goes into a spiel about how she's been in wrestling her whole life. It's in her blood. It's all she knows! She says neither herself or Hunter have been able to find work since Hardcore XXXmas 3D, and they weren't even able to buy Christmas gifts for their children after being ousted from the compnay by The Carter Family. "Oh no! Bless their little hearts." Dixie gasps, cupping her hands over her chest. Stephanie takes a deep breath and swallows her pride, stating that she's here to ask - no, beg! - for a job with the company. Dixie regretfully informs Stephanie that she already has an assistant, but as she reaches for the phone on her desk, she tells Stephanie she could call up Miguel and see if he has an opening for a new custodian. "Should I give him a call?" Dixie asks. Stephanie looks down at the phone, then up at Dixie, and her face twists into a snarl. Stephanie roars and lunges at Dixie, but Dixie reflexively clocks her in the face with the phone, knocking her to the floor! While Stephanie groans at Dixie's feet with her palm pressed to her forehead, Dixie places that call after all. "Yes, Miguel? It seems you've left some trash in my office. Please see to it that it's thrown out!" Dixie demands, slamming the phone on the receiver before stepping over Stephanie and out of her office.

    It's now time for our main event, with Jeffy Hardy putting the Universal Championship on the line against Ethan Carter III, whose been handed this match via nepotism. The challenger makes his way out first, accomapnied by his fiancée, Tiffany. They're followed by the champion, who makes his usual energetic entrance. During the match, EC3 whips Jeff into the ropes, but Hardy holds on. EC3 charges at him and Jeff back body drops him over the top rope. Hardy tries to follow up with a plancha, but EC3 uses his strength to catch him in midair, slinging him into the barricade. EC3 tries to hit the EC3 Splash, but Jeff moves out of the corner in time. EC3 turns around, and Jeff pulls him into a front facelock. He tries to hit the Twist of Fate, but EC3 spins out of it and pulls Jeff into a huge clothesline, flattening him. With Jeff at his feet, EC3 uses the Hardy's signature taunt and pulls Jeff into a front facelock by his hair. He's gonna put Jeff away with his own finisher, but no! Jeff pushes EC3 off and he nearly flattens the official in the corner, but EC3 stops himself in time. Jeff applies a waist lock from behind, and EC3 kicks his leg back, hitting Jeff with a low blow the official doesn't see. Jeff stumbles away holding his crotch, and Tiffany comes flying in from out of nowhere with a Coochiecanrana! Tiffany quickly pulls her mini-dress down and rolls out of the ring, and EC3 dives on top of Jeff and hooks both legs. He's gonna steal it! But no! Jeff kicks out as the ref's hand is coming down for three. Neither EC3 or Tiffany can believe it, and the former pulls at his hair. EC3 goes to pull Jeff to his feet once again, but this time Jeff counters with a sitout jawbreaker. EC3 sells the maneuver by woozily attempting to situp before passing out, while Jeff uses the ropes to pull himself up, going all the way up top. Tiffany screams for him to get down, and for EC3 to get up, but neither prevent him from hitting The Swanton! Jeff's theme hits once the official makes the three count, and Tiffany stomps her heel on the outside, pouting like a spoiled brat. Jeff barely has any energy left to raise his own arm when the official hands him his title, and he rolls out of the ring as Tiffany kneels by EC3's side, brushing his hair from his face. At the top of the ramp, Jeff has been invigorated by the crowd, and we fade out on him celebrating by dancing like a damn fool while EC3 spittles in anger.

[Burke]

Remember when that ECW December to Dismember PPV was such a disaster that WWE sent Paul Heyman home the next day and stripped him of all his creative powers then basically apologized to fans for the show? That's basically what Batista did to me, only publicly. Actually, I should probably have called that PPV December to Dismember instead of Hardcore XXX-mas. It would go down in history as a fitting sequel.



Not again!

Jeff does kinda owe Dixie one after she kept him employed after that famous drunken/drug fuelled match he had in TNA years ago so it makes sense that he didn't protest too much about her booking that title match.

Laurel can't wrestle a high stakes title match in her current condition. Surely The Carters won't allow her to go out there like that and endanger herself and her opponent. *Remembers the previous Dixie/Hardy thing I just mentioned* Oh.

Not you squashing Drew Gulak on his debut. What's come over you.

Candice better watch her man around Jessica. That's all I'm saying.

Losing to Jason "but daaaaad!" Jordan was bad but Sister Taryn's racist treatment of the delightful Sister Thea and her erroneous allegations against me were even worse. I brought that woman back to the limelight and this is how she repays me. And of course Zelina doesn't have the proper papers yet. We've been working on it but I've had a lot on my plate. These orphanages don't build (or fund) themselves. I'm sure this will all be sorted out soon and Zelina will be back to stick it to Taryn and Trump.

Tony as Dixie's assistant is great.

Jayzero and Tyler wish they had as much sexual tension as Orton and Cena used to.

Poor Tiarnán sounds like he's going through a mid-career crisis.

That shower segment was so uncomfortable. Where the hell was Dash anyway?

Mandy isn't rarely seen! The whole world saw a lot of her on FNBF these past months. Lmao at you combining Absolution and Riott Squad but ditching the members you don't care for.

Stephanie never takes these big loses well. That segment reminded me of her coming out the night after the Alliance lost at Survivor Series 2001 and begging Vince not to fire her.

I'm kinda surprised EC3 didn't immediately win the title. I'm sure he'll have more opportunities to do so though with head booker Brandon aunt Dixie at the helm.

[Jayzero]

I love the new header

Geez. That last writing staff was buried to hell.

Poor Miz. That's no way to treat the FNBF welcoming committee.

lol @ EC3 boasting that he's never had to earn a single thing in his life.

Ember don't know what she getting herself into.

lmao @ Friday Night B-Word Fight. Oh, tho. Did Burke book that segment?

Is it bad that we've all written Jessica into the type of character that made me immediately think she was going to try and sleep with Candice, Johnny, or both? Johnny gonna feel awkward as hell when he finds out his ex was talking to his wife.

Burke going to Sin City while masquerading as a man of faith feels very accurate. Burke's life is such a mess.

I hope Dixie treats Tony the way Sable treated Maddox.

Tyler's loss tbh.

Not T getting a Cena/Roman/Ziggler reaction 

5 days into 2018 and one of us is already butt naked. I mean, that really wasn't Dawson's fault tho. But would it have killed him to speak up a bit? He knew what he was doing...

All of us FNBF newcomers are getting such horrible welcomes. Poor Naomi.

Dixie is a fucking savage.

I love the name of Tiffany's finisher. Jeff doesn't know what he's up against. If he had just laid down like a good employee he probably could've still had a bright future on FNBF. Maybe a Television Championship run. But he just had to go and win. Now he's gonna feel the wrath. I for one welcome our new Carter overlords.

[Tiarnán]

I'm hurt by reaction but pleased that my alternate universe self is flexible enough to do a Sunset Split.

[Burke]

Which one of us would you think would be the first to retire?

[Brandon]

The first to retire from the board: Tiffany.

[Tarry]

Jan 4, 2018 23:00:12 GMT -5 Brandon said:

Jessica breaking up with Dalton off-screen via a letter a la Kimberly and Tommy in Power Rangers. That's cold.

That's exactly what inspired me to write that segment 💀 

Batista burying Burke's run as head writer of FNBF was hilarious.

I really enjoyed the segment that introduced Roman Reigns to FNBF. You really got over that he's a bad ass without forcing it. I also liked that he held his own against Miz on the mic so he didn't come across as one dimensional either. You definitely write Roman better than I did.

The segment with Jeff Hardy and The Carter Family was really good. I like that you showed the contrast between Hardy and EC3's characters, in fact I just like that you had Jeff show character at all. See what a little dialogue can do, Burke?

Off the rails Laurel is incredible. I kinda hope she ruins Ember's first reign by winning the title.

I can't believe you had John Cena squash Drew Gulak 💀

This has got to be the first time in a long time that Jessica has been single in BPW. I know that she was always linked to somebody during my time writing. You did a really good job introducing Candice to the BPW Universe, I already like her friendship with Jessica, and I'm glad she stood up to The Iconic Duo even before Jessica showed up to have her back.

I hope Father William's trip to Vegas was filmed for a future BPW Network show. Father William interjecting with "The Lord's work, no doubt." made me burst out laughing. I love that Jason Jordan picked up a win over the good father, I bet he didn't agree to that so easily when he was told about that backstage. Although I knew about is angle well in advance, I wasn't prepared for just how amazing it would turn out to be. The whole segment was incredible. Iconic.

Tony Nese as Dixie's assistant is perfect. You have a real talent for knowing which characters work well in these kind of pairings, after all, it was you who suggested pairing up Summer and Spud, and that ended up being one of my favourite things I've written.

I loved the entirety of that exchange between Tyler Bate and Jayzero. Tyler Bate looked like a huge star in that segment, and him getting the better of Jayzero in their exchange was so satisfying.

It really is about time that the elephant in the room was addressed in regards to Tiarnán. It's kind of a shame that he never retired after defeating Johnny Mundo at SummerMania, it really felt like he came full circle at that moment.

That shower scene was so uncomfortable. I have no idea what just happened, lol. I'm just glad Brandon is doing something that doesn't involve Billy Gunn or Laurel Van Ness.

Yes, Naomi! FNBF has really lucked out with that signing. I really like that you've switched up the line up of Absolution/Riott Squad by choosing the two blondes to stand either side of Paige. Their looks would really complement each other. 

That Stephanie McMahon segment was so fucking satisfying. It's great to see her get embarrassed for a change.

EC3 and Tiffany are such a throwback to the dastardly heel couples of old. I popped big time for that Coochiecanrana spot, that was amazing. I'm honestly shocked that Jeff went over and retained, I thought you'd have EC3 win back the title at the first opportunity.

That episode was amazing, well done guys!

[Tarry]

Welcome once again to a brand new episode of NFA! Matt Striker & Nigel McGuinness recap the closing moments of last week's show that saw Seth Rollins and Jason return to NFA to screw Kevin Owens out of the NFA World Heavyweight Championship. Speaking of KO, his music hits the speakers, and here he comes!

Kevin Owens makes his way to the ring to a pop from the BPW Universe, but I doubt he cares about that, he looks like he's got his mind on just one thing tonight - revenge. "Last week I was just moments away from winning the NFA World Heavyweight Championship, but then Seth Rollins and Jason had to go and ruin everything," he says, trying not to completely lose his cool, "Hey dumbasses, if you had waited until after I won the title to attack me, you'd be the #1 Contender right now, Seth. I get it though, you acted prematurely, I'm sure Jason is used to that." The BPW Universe laughs at Owens' innuendo while KO grabs a Steel Chair from ringside. "I understand that you attacked me in retaliation for the Powerbomb I gave you at Bragging Rights, which totally makes us even, but I'm not about to let it slide," Kevin Owens sets up the chair and takes a seat in the centre of the ring, "I want you in a match tonight, Seth, and I'm going to sit here until I get what I want!" Neither Seth nor Jason show their faces though, instead we're treated to an appearance from the C.E.O. of BPW, Batista! Batista walks out onto the stage to a massive pop, "Hey Kevin, I don't think we've been properly introduced, my name is Batista and I'm your boss, which means you're gonna do what I say," he explains, clearly having no time for KO's protest, "You're not getting Seth Rollins in a match tonight, because it makes no sense from a business stand point to give that match away for free. No offence to the BPW Universe in attendance tonight." The audience boos Batista at first, until they realise that, yeah, that match is too big for a random episode of NFA. "If I have to wait to get my hands on Rollins, what are you going to give me to satisfy me in the meantime?" Owens asks, standing up out of his chair and kicking it to one side. "I can't give you Seth tonight, but how 'bout I book you in a match with Jason tonight instead?" The BPW Universe pops for the announcement, and Owens clearly happy with that idea too. "Looking forward to it!" KO says, and we believe him too. Jason has a rough night ahead of him, and we're not talking about what he and Seth get up to in their spare time.

After a brief commercial break, we return to find the NFA Women's Intercontinental Champion, Taya Valkyrie, in the ring with a microphone. "So, last week didn't quite go to plan, but I'm still confident that I can be successful without receiving any help. With that being said, who's ready to go to Slamtown?" Asuka seemingly answers the challenge, and here she comes to a pop! The bell rings and here we go! Taya kicks off the match by landing a huge forearm to the chest of Asuka, but the Empress of Tomorrow no sells it and delivers a kick to the side of Taya's head! Asuka hits the ropes and follows up with a Hip Attack to a kneeling Taya. She then showboats to the fans until Shayna Baszler decides to make her way down to ringside. Taya takes advantage of the distraction by delivering a clubbing blow to the back of Asuka's neck! Taya follows up by hooking Asuka for the Northern Lights Suplex, but Asuka floats over and applies the Asuka Lock out of nowhere! In the middle of the ring with no hope of escape, Taya Valkyrie is forced to submit! Asuka stares down Shayna Baszler, and the two tease coming to blows, but Natalya's music hits to everyone's surprise. She walks out onto the stage as points to Asuka and Shayna. This division is really heating up!

We see Sunil Singh backstage talking with a stagehand, asking him if he's seen his brother. The stagehand shakes his head as Sunil starts to get worried. The stagehand then points Sunil to the stage, informing him that his segment is up next. Sunil Singh walks through the Gorilla Position, grabbing a microphone on the way. He walks through the curtain and is met with boos from the BPW Universe. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, your Modern Day Maharaja - Jinder Mahal!" Jinder's music hits and here he comes to louder boos from tonight's audience. Jinder climbs into the ring and takes the microphone from Sunil, "Last week I proved that I'm not afraid of Pentagon Jr., and I'll prove it again when I take that freak's championship from him!" Jinder Mahal laughs like a villain in a Bollywood movie until he's interrupted by a close up of Pentagon Jr.'s face on the titantron. The NFA Zero Limits Champion smiles as the camera zooms out to show Samir Singh locked in The Sacrifice! No, don't do it, Pentagon! You already broke one of his arms, you don't need to break the other! Pentagon wrenches back as a loud snapping sound is heard which no doubt turns the stomachs of our viewers at home. Samir screams in pain as Pentagon Jr. approaches the camera. "My name is Pentagon Jr., and I have Cero Miedo!" He licks his lips and gets even closer to the camera, "Jinder Mahal, I am your biggest fear ... You just don't know it yet!"

"Aaaawwww, BPW Universe! Don't you dare be sour! Clap for your world famous 2 time champs, and FEEEEL the POWAH! It's a New Day, yes it is!" Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Big E make their way to the ring as we prepare to kick off the tournament to crown new NFA Tag Team Champions. "Welcome to The New Day's Tag Team Palooza!" Xavier Woods announces to a big pop. "Presented by The Dial of Destiny!" Big E adds. "Tonight is the night that cha bois begin their journey back to the NFA Tag Team Championships, but just who will we face first?" Kofi asks, "Who?" "Who?" "Who?" "It's time to SPIN! THE! DIAL!" Big E exclaims with childlike glee. The Dial of Destiny goes round and around until it lands on a new member of the NFA roster - Cedric Alexander! The Dial spins again, this time landing on yet another new member of the NFA roster - Fat Camp call-up - Mustafa Ali! The bell rings and the makeshift team of Alexander and Ali immediately impress by delivering a double dropkick to Big E, knocking him off of the apron. They then follow up by clotheslining Woods and Kofi to the outside. The BPW Universe encourages Mustafa and Cedric to take a risk, and that's exactly what they do as they fly over the top rope with a beautiful pair of dives! Cedric rolls Xavier back into the and delivers a devastating Lumbar Check! 1 ... 2 ... No! Kofi Kingston just makes the save in the nick of time! Mustafa Ali enters the ring trying to take out Kingston, but Kofi counters with a Stun Gun, sending Mustafa bouncing off of the top rope throat first. Kofi catches Ali on the rebound with the Trouble in Paradise! Kofi climbs back out onto the apron as Woods reaches out for the tag. Kofi grabs Cedric as Xavier goes up top to deliver UpUpDownDown to pick up the win! The New Day bail from the ring, relieved that they managed to overcome what was about to be a major upset. In the ring, Mustafa Ali helps Cedric Alexander back to his feet as the BPW Universe gives them a standing ovation. The two men shake hands, and I have a feeling it's not going to be the last time we see them team together.

We cut to the back to find Alexa Bliss sat in the makeup chair. The camera pans behind her to show her looking into the mirror. Suddenly, Broken Matt Hardy appears in the mirror, startling Alexa. "Alexa, the Seven Deities have shown me images of The White Rabbit revealing themselves to the BPW Universe," he says with a crazy look on his face. "Who is it? Who did you see?" Alexa asks, anxious to know the identity of The White Rabbit. "I did not see the true identity of The White Rabbit, the image was OBSCURED, but I do know that it will happen very soon!" "And when that happens, we'll be there to DELETE The White Rabbit!" Alexa replies to the delight of Broken Matt. "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!" They chant together before stopping to exchange bizarre laughs. Alexa spins around in her chair to face Broken Matt Hardy, but she's shocked to discover that he's no longer there.

Kevin Owens makes his way to the ring for the second time tonight, this time to compete in singles action. Jason's music hits next to loud boos as he makes his way out with Seth Rollins by his side. Jason enters the ring and snatches JoJo's microphone. "Kevin, back up, you're going to love this," he says, reaching into his trunks. He pulls out a laminated card and holds it up for everyone to see. "This is my wrestling license, and as of right now ..." he says, reaching out of the ring to receive a pair of scissors from Rollins, "It's now null and void!" Jason snips his wrestling license in half, making it impossible for him to compete here tonight. "I thank you all for your support over the last seven years, I look forward to enjoying my retirement!" Jason and Seth Rollins share at laugh at Kevin Owens' expense, but Owens isn't one to be thwarted by these antics as he runs across the ring and delivers a baseball slide to Seth! He then grabs Jason by the hair, and after playing to the crowd for a moment, he tosses Jason into the ropes! He throws Jason into the air on the rebound, setting up for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Rollins slides into the ring and delivers a chop block to Owens at the perfect moment. Jason crashes down on Owens, performing an inadvertent Seated Senton! Seth pulls Jason to safety and follows up on Owens by delivering a running knee to the side of the head! Jason walks around the ring and stands on KO's back. Seth plants a kiss on Jason as the crowd boos. Seth flips off the audience as he continues to make out with Jason over Kevin Owens' unconscious body. Let's cut to commercial, shall we?

We return from commercial to find The Authors of Pain in the ring as we get set for the second match of The New Day's Tag Team Palooza (Presented by The Dial of Destiny). Cathy Kelley makes her way to ringside to catch a quick word from Paul London, "Cathy, it doesn't matter who The Dial of Destiny decides will face my Authors of Pain tonight, because The White Rabbit will give them the strength to persevere. Follow The White Rabbit!" And with the interview over, it's time to spin The Dial of Destiny! Around and around goes the Dial - where will it stop? On Roderick Strong! Strong makes his way out to a pop and has no hesitation in getting into the ring alone with Akam and Rezar. The Dial of Destiny spins again, this time landing on Randy Orton! After a few moments of Randy's music playing, it appears as though The Viper isn't making an appearance here tonight. Roderick asks the referee to spin the Dial again, but the referee explains that there are no do-overs. It looks like Roderick Strong has his work cut out for him, because this will be a handicap match! The bell rings and Roderick Strong rushes towards Akam with a flurry of punches! Unfortunately for Strong, he inadvertently backs Akam into The Authors of Pain's corner, allowing Rezar to tag himself in. Rezar grabs Roderick in a headlock and drags him into the centre of the ring. Akam rushes towards his partner and together they deliver The Last Chapter to Strong to pick up the win! Paul London slides into the ring and raises the arms of Akam of Rezar. Could we be looking at the next NFA Tag Team Champions?

We cut to the back to find Dalton Castle sobbing while eating a pint of ice cream. "My Booooyyyysss! She's gone!" He says, pausing to scoop more ice cream into his mouth, "She's gone and she's never coming back!" The Boys try to comfort Dalton, but Cesaro enters the room, which could possibly make things worse. "Get over it, buddy, there's plenty more fish in the sea," he says, with some surprisingly genuine sincerity in his tone. "That's easy for you to say, you found your soulmate after she left you. I'll never find anybody like Jessica again!" Cesaro places a hand on Dalton's shoulder and then leaves the room. Dalton Castle polishes off the pint of ice cream before being presented with another pint by The Boys.

It's now time for our main event! Out first is Dana Brooke who is accompanied by her partner in crime, the recently rebranded, Tenille Dashwood. Her opponent is her former mentor, making her NFA re-debut, Charlotte Flair! Charlotte makes her way out with the NFA Women's Champion, Becky Lynch, by her side. Charlotte passes her robe down to a stagehand, but this gives Dana the opportunity to jump her before the bell. Dana stomps away on Charlotte until the referee finally manages to pull her away. The referee checks on Charlotte and asks if she wants to continue, but of course The Queen isn't one to give up so easily. The bell finally rings and a fired-up Charlotte lights up Dana with a barrage of chops. Dana bails from the ring and retrieves a calculator from the time keeper's position. She punches some numbers and then slides back into the ring. It seems like Dana Brooke is trying to put that statistics course to good use. Dana kicks Charlotte in the knee and then grabs her leg, twisting it with a Dragon Screw. Dana then drops an elbow across Charlotte's knee. It looks like Dana has been doing some extra curriculum training at Fat Camp over the holidays. Dana goes for a Single Leg Boston Crab, but Charlotte gets to the bottom rope. Dana tries pulling Charlotte to her feet, but Charlotte counters with a kick to the chest that may have further injured her leg. Charlotte pulls herself to her feet using the ropes only to eat a rolling elbow from Dana Brooke as soon as she's on her feet. Dana whips Charlotte into the turnbuckle hard enough for Charlotte to flip over the top rope, awkwardly twisting her leg on the apron upon landing. Dana rushes over to Charlotte, only for Charlotte to counter with a shoulder to the midsection. Charlotte puts her head between Dana's legs and flips her over the top rope to the floor below. Charlotte looks over her shoulder and the begins to gingerly climb the turnbuckle. She dives over with a beautiful Corkscrew Moonsault, but Tenille shoves Dana out of the way, resulting in Charlotte landing knee first on the floor. Dana grabs Charlotte and throws her back into the ring. She goes for the pin, but Charlotte counters with an inside cradle and manages to pick up the win! Dana punches the mat and exits the ring as Becky Lynch enters the raise the hand of her friend. As the two best friends celebrate, Tenille Dashwood grabs a steel chair from ringside and swings it at Charlotte's injured knee. Becky turns around only to eat a a chair shot herself! Dana Brooke grabs the NFA Women's Championship and fastens it around Tenille's waist as the BPW Universe boos.

The show isn't over yet as Catrina leads Finn Bálor and the NFA World Heavyweight Champion, Mil Muertes, down to the ring. "This world belongs to you, Mil Muertes, and it will always belong to you," she says, placing a hand on his chest, "There is nobody in this universe who is man enough to try and take it from you." Catrina glances over at Finn, almost daring him to challenge Muertes, but Bálor stays in his place. She smirks, but that look is wiped off her face as The Man's music hits the speakers! The Man makes his first appearance of the year to a roaring pop from the BPW Universe! He sprints to the ring as Catrina orders Finn Bálor to stop him. Finn throws a forearm at The Man that stuns him. He sets up for 1916, but The Man counters with a judo throw. Catrina yells at Mil Muertes to leave the ring with her, which he reluctantly does. Finn Bálor recovers and sprints towards The Man, only to be scooped up and driven down with a Spinning World's Strongest Slam! The Man points at Mil Muertes and the NFA World Heavyweight Championship which results in Mil Muertes letting out a furious roar as the screen fades to black.

[Burke]

Big Dave probably sub-tweeting me with that Owens/Rollins line, knowing fine well that I'd have given it away on a random episode without a second thought.

Not Asuka suddenly being a killer again like last year never happened. Remember when WWE had Snitsky show up on ECW one week and started calling him an undefeated monster like he hadn't been getting regularly punked out in the months prior?

Poor Samir when this Pentagon feud is finished:



I don't know if you did it on purpose but I laughed out loud at it being pointed out that Alexa was sitting in the makeup chair after B has been dragging her to hell and back recently for her bad skin.

We need a license to wrestle? Who knew? I probably didn't even go to wrestling school tbh. I applaud Jason's innovative attempts at fuckery though.

Randy is known to be lazy. He probably heard he was teaming with Roderick Strong in a tournament match and was like nah, I'm not boarding a plane for all that.

I can't tell if Cesaro was hitting on Dalton there. I'm just used to everything on these shows being so sexual.

Charlotte/Dana was probably match of the year so far. It'll probably take me another few weeks to get used to calling Emma Tenille though.

Wait, Catrina and Mil are cucking Finn, right? And she wants him to stand up for himself and take charge? Oh, I'm probably mis-reading this situation too.

[Brandon]

    We start with a cold open backstage in The Carter Suite where EC3 is still throwing a temper tantrum after losing to Jeff Hardy last week. Tiffany unsuccessfully tries to calm him down, offering to fire some people to cheer him up. "No, babe. Even watching the little people suffer wouldn't cheer me up right now." he sighs. Dixie Carter enters the room to a hopeful glance from EC3. She says she has some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is: The BPW Board of Directors said she can't play the nepotism card with the Universal Championship two weeks in a row. EC3 groans and falls back into his leather sofa. "Tiffany, go find me someone to fire!" he cries. Tiffany gives EC3 a "poor baby" look before following his request and leaving the room. Dixie tells EC3 she still has some good news: Just because he can't challenge for the Universal title, doesn't mean he can't challenge for another championship on the show. He can challenge for the Television Championship! "Yeah right. I barely avoided getting buried by the last guy." he dismisses. She suggests he go after a different title then. He thinks for a moment, "Hmm... Ethan Carter III, FNBF Women's Champion..." "No, Ethan." Dixie interrupts, "The tag titles." "You want me to share?!" he scoffs. Dixie tells him it's that or nothing, so he reluctantly accepts. Now he just needs to find a partner. As he contemplates, Tiffany arrives with a member of the crew in tow. Ethan, feeling better about himself, brushes it off, saying it's not necessary anymore. "Ah what the hell. You're fired!" he laughs before going back into deep thought as the FNBF intro begins to play.

    The show officially kicks off with "Awesome!" blaring over the sound system, as The Miz makes his way to the ring, accompanied by his beautiful wife, Maryse, to take on Roman Reigns after being humiliated on his own show last week. The bell rings and The Miz immediately rolls to the outside to consult with Maryse on a plan, leaving Roman in the ring waiting with his hands on his hips. Reigns finally has enough and exits the ring, causing The Miz to run around until he slides in the ring and cheap shots Roman as he tries to follow. Although he started with the upper hand, Roman soon turns things around and has The Miz set up for a spear. Suddenly, Reigns is attacked by a camera man, who reveals himself to be Bo Dallas! Roman fights off Bo only to be attacked from behind by yet another camera man, this one revealing himself to be Curtis Axel! The referee calls for the bell as Roman tries to fight back against Dallas and Axel, but once The Miz joins the beat down the numbers game becomes too much for him. Maryse barks orders and approval at ringside as The Miz orders Axel and Dallas to lift Reigns up for a triple powerbomb! Reigns is left laid out, as The Miz, Dallas, and Axel mock the old Shield pose over Roman's body. What is this new alliance??

    We're taken backstage where McKenzie Mitchell is standing by with the woman who exposed Father William and Sister Thea, or should we say, Zelina Vega, last week, Taryn Terrell. Taryn says last week, she ran those two miscreants out of FNBF. They've been too ashamed to show their faces in public all week, well, that is, if Zelina is ever able to show her face again. Taryn says that was only the first step in her New Year's resolution to create a better FNBF. It's time to clean things up around here and set things straight. Taryn's attention is caught by a man's throat clearing, as Drew Gulak walks into frame. Drew says he couldn't help overhearing, but he likes the way Taryn thinks. In fact, he's all for a better Friday Night B-Word Fight, and they could possibly help each other out. Taryn says she sees potential in a partnership with Drew, and together, they'll make FNBF great again! "But rule number 1:" Taryn begins, "No eavesdropping." "Of course." Drew replies, a bit ashamed, but hopeful for this new alliance.

    Back in the arena, Jason Jordan comes out to a nice reaction for a match against former Wolrd Champion, Tiarnán, who gets a lukewarm response, mixed in with a few boos. Tiarnán ignores the reaction and plays up to the crowd anyway, before entering a technical showcase with Jordan. The almost 5-star back and forth contest is overshadowed by the crowd reaction, or lack there of, with a few people even starting up a chant of, "Tiarnán sucks!" Tiarnán ignores the chants and is able to put Jason Jordan away with a Sunset Flip to boos from the audience. What's happening to Tiarnán's popularity?

    Dixie Carter is backstage in her office when Tony Nese walks in, wearing an extremely tight pair of slacks, carrying boxes. Dixie orders Tony where to place them, but when he bends over to set them down, his pants rip! Oh no! With Tony's cheeks on display (apparently today is Freeball Friday), Dixie turns beet red as he attempts to cover up. Tony tells Dixie he appreciates the gift, but he told her the pants were too small for him. She brushes him off, saying they fit just fine, they just need to be taken out a little. She can fix it in no time. "This same thing always happens to Ethan, too." She comforts him as she pulls out a needle and thread. Dixie orders Tony to turns around, grabbing a handful of the premier ass cheeks and squeezing, in an attempt to get the tear back together we assume. Dixie jabs her needle into Tony's skin, causing him to yelp at the sudden sharp pain, "Watch it, Mrs. Carter! You stuck it right in my ass!" he complains. "Sorry, Tony!" She winces.

    Next up, we're treated to women's tag action, as The Iconic Duo take on FNBF newcomers, Jessica and Candice LeRae. Candice starts the match facing off against Peyton Royce, but it doesn't take long for Billie Kay to get involved with the 2-on-1 tactics. Candice holds her own against the Duo for a while, but the numbers game eventually proves too much, and she attempts to make a hot tag to Jessica. Candice stretches her hand out towards Jessica, but Jessica doesn't reach back. Candice looks confused and tries to move closer, only for Jessica to drop down off the apron, staring at Candice with a raised brow. Billie and Peyton try to take advantage and double team Candice, but she fights back, eventually hitting Billie with Ms. LeRae's Wild Ride for the pin, despite no help at all from Jessica. Candice catches up with Jessica backstage and asks what the hell that was all about. Jessica says she just needed to see what Candice was made of... and she liked what she saw. Before things get any weirder, Johnny Gargano comes over and asks Jessica what she was thinking, but she doesn't respond. Johnny congratulates Candice nonetheless and the two leave hand in hand, leaving a stoic Jessica behind.

    Back in the ring, Scott Dawson is waiting in the ring for his opponent: The FNBF Television Champion, John Cena! Dawson strikes first in the contest, but it’s the last offensive maneuver he makes in the match, as he quickly falls to the 5 moves of doom and finds himself being flattened by an AA, before tapping out to the STF. Cena celebrates another quick win over a talented wrestler, and we cut back to commercial after a blink-and-you-miss-it segment.

    After a break, we see Scott Dawson limping backstage to his locker room. When he opens the door, the lights are dim, candles are flickering, and soothing jazz music is playing. His eyes widen when he notices Brandon in the middle of the room, bent over, stretching out his hamstrings. Brandon slowly comes up and asks Dawson what's wrong? Dawson says he's just feeling a little... stiff, from his match. Brandon says he can help with his stiffness, and offers Dawson a massage. Dawson politely declines but Brandon insists and orders Dawson to lay on the table, face down, ass up. Dawson does as he's told. Brandon places a towel over Dawson and begins oiling up his hands before squirting all over Dawson's back. He rubs him down, pressing his fingers into Dawson's bulging muscles, stroking at every inch of him. Dawson apologizes for last week, but Brandon brushes him off, saying it was his fault. "Did you like what you saw?" Brandon asks, but assures Dawson he was just joking before he could answer. Brandon tells Dawson a lot of people don't know he's actually a licensed massage therapist. Dawson says Brandon is so good; he's easily the best he's ever had. Brandon tells Dawson to flip over. "Oh my god! Scott!" Brandon gasps. "Brandon..." Dawson replies through closed eyes. "Scott!" Brandon repeats as Dawson opens his eyes. The music in the room stops via record scratch as the camera quickly pans to reveal Scott Not-So-Junior standing at attention under his towel! "Ew! Scott!" Brandon yells in disgust as he runs out of the room, leaving Dawson struggling to cover up, apologizing and tripping over his towel.

    The lights dim in the arena and the blood moon appears on the screen, as the FNBF Women's Champion, Ember Moon, makes her way to the ring to defend her championship against Laurel Van Ness. Laurel stumbles out on stage in her tattered wedding dress, taking a swig of champagne straight from the bottle, with the same smeared lipstick from last week, and mascara running down her face. Ember looks at the mess Laurel has become with slight pity, but she's still ready to go. During the match, Laurel goes to the second rope and polishes off the bottle before diving at Ember, who greets her with a stomp to the gut. Only the blow causes Laurel to spew her champagne in Ember's face, temporarily blinding her. Laurel quickly rolls Ember up, but Ember kicks out at two. Despite Laurel's erratic behavior, Ember is able to adapt and show why she is the FNBF Women's Champion, hitting Laurel with an Eclipse to successfully defend her championship.

    Back in The Carter Suite, Tye Dillinger, Noam Dar with Alicia Fox, and James Ellsworth with Carmella at his side, are standing by being examined by EC3 and Tiffany. EC3 says as the best Superstar on FNBF, only the second best is good enough to team with him tonight and share his tag team championships with him. And what he sees before him, is... not that. EC3 walks up to Tye Dillinger and says he doesn't feel like taking 10 years to win the titles, like it took Dillinger 10 years to become relevant. EC3 then moves on to Noam, and mockingly squats down, saying there's a height limit to team with him. Finally, he arrives at James Ellsworth, and simply scoffs, "Yeah, right..." EC3 tells Tiffany to get rid of these losers and bring in the next group. Tiffany puts her hands on her hip and tells him there is no other group. This is all she could find who wanted to team up with him. EC3 looks at Tiffany in confusion, before turning back to the three superstars with an embarrassed smile. EC3 goes up to Dillinger and says he always thought he was such an undiscovered talent, and the two of them are going to make amazing tag team champions. Dillinger says he's actually starting to think staying solo and going for the TV title sounds like a better gig for him right now, but tells EC3 to catch him in another 10 years and he'll think about it. EC3 is taken back in offense as Dillinger walks away. "Yeah? Well have fun tapping out to the STF in 10 seconds! If he even feels you're worth that much of his time!" A patronizing smile returns to EC3's face as he makes his way to Noam Dar. EC3 says Noam was always his favorite Cruiserweight. He's been watching him on the indies since Noam was 15 years old, and he's sure Noam has been watching him too. And now, he gets to team with his idol, E-C-3! "Gid luck finding a bidie in fur it's nae aff tae be me, ya dafty." Noam replies as he walks off, leaving only Ellsworth and Carmella behind. EC3 looks at Ellsworth, and then at Tiffany, motioning towards Carmella, as if to ask if he can ask her to be his partner. Tiffany snaps him a look back like he needs to quit playing and he sighs, before mumbling, "ellsworthwillyoubemypartnertonight?" Carmella perks her ear towards EC3, "I'm sorry, what was that? We couldn't hear you?" EC3 rolls his eyes and groans before once again clearly asking if Ellsworth will be his partner tonight. Ellsworth excitedly accepts and says they're gonna be the best tag team champions since Albert and Scotty Too Hotty!

    Jayzero's music hits as he makes his way out to ringside, joining Corey and Mauro on commentary for the next match, which sees the man who embarrassed Jayzero last week in their FNBF debuts, Tyler Bate, face off against Baron Corbin. The match sees good back and forth action, with Baron taking control for most of the contest. Corey Graves asks Jayzero at one point what his obsession is with Tyler Bate, with a rumor saying Jayzero was caught accidentally liking and then unliking one of Tyler Bate's shirtless gym selfies on Instagram. Jayzero gets defensive and says he's not obsessed, those screenshots are photoshopped. He just really thought they'd make a good team, but now he's only out to prove how much better he is than Bate. "In fact, I can see this match is already starting to bore people, so let me entertain my fans." Jayzero says as he takes off his headset and stands on the announce table, taunting to the crowd who rain boos on him. Tyler Bate notices and takes advantage of Corbin being down to slip to the outside, grabs hold of Jayzero's leg, and stanches the cocky Californian off the announce table, causing Jay to bounce face first off of Mauro's notepad to a pop from the crowd. Tyler's detour allows Corbin to regain control of the match, until Jayzero jumps onto the apron in an attempt to get revenge on Bate. The referee attempts to get Jay off the apron as Corbin pushes Tyler towards Jay. Jay takes a swing over the referees head, but Tyler ducks so Jay nails Corbin in the temple instead, allowing Tyler to hit the Tyler Driver 97 on Corbin for the win! Jay gets in the ring but Tyler slides to the outside, celebrating up the ramp and Jay curses him from the ring. Tyler points behind Jay, who turns into the waiting arms of a furious Baron Corbin, before being driven to the mat with a Deep Six! Corbin spits at the laid out Jayzero for costing him the match as Tyler laughs at Jay from the stage.

    Ariane Andrew is standing by backstage with three women who made quite the impact last week, Paige, Liv Morgan, and Mandy Rose. She asks why they attacked Naomi the way they did last week, and what their plans are here on FNBF. Paige tells Ariane not to worry her pretty little head with what they have planned, because they know exactly what they're doing. As for Naomi, she was just in the wrong place, running her mouth at the wrong time, and they needed to make a statement. Ariane agrees they made a statement, but nobody knows Naomi better than she does, and if she knows her as well as she does, she knows Naomi is gonna clap back sooner than later. Paige laughs, slightly amused, then has the realization that Ariane and Naomi were good friends once. She can see they have a lot in common, because they both like to run their mouths. Paige said if Naomi wants to try and come back for revenge, she welcomes in. "In fact, why don't we give her a little incentive to do just that." And with that, Liv and Mandy attack Ariane! The two blondes double team the former Funkadactyl and then hold her up for Paige to hit a brutal slap, before tossing Ariane into the interview set! Paige, Mandy and Liv leave Ariane down and out as crewmembers rush to her aid.

    The music of the FNBF Universal Champion hits, as Jeff Hardy makes his way to ringside for the main event. Mauro and Corey welcome the champ to the announce table, with Mauro saying it's a huge improvement from their last guest. Corey asks if Jeff is only out here to rub his title in EC3's face? Jeff replies that he's only out here because Dixie forgot to book her Universal Champion on the show tonight, and he's sure it was completely accidental. So he's just out here to support his good friend EC3 and watch some great in ring action. At that, the FNBF Tag Team Champions, Breezango, make their fashionable entrance. They're followed by the reluctant challenger, EC3, and his over excited partner, James Ellsworth, with Tiffany and Carmella at their respective sides. Breezango giggle amongst themselves, pointing and laughing at EC3 having to team with Ellsworth. EC3 tells them to shut up before shooting a scathing look at Jeff at ringside, who shines his Universal title back at him. The bell rings and Ellsworth tries to start the match, but EC3 tells him he'll handle it, ordering Ellsworth to stay on the outside. The match is basically a handicap match, with EC3 taking on both members of Breezango and refusing to tag in Ellsworth, even when he's not in control. Eventually, Ellsworth hits EC3 with a blind tag, excitedly entering the ring, angering EC3, who orders Ellsworth to get out and tag him back in. While they're arguing, Breeze sets up the Beauty Shot, but EC3 ducks, causing Tyler to accidentally hit the referee, knocking him out cold! Fandango enters the chaos and begins brawling with EC3, leading both men to tumble outside the ring in front of the announce table. As the two men brawl, EC3 suddenly tosses Fandango over the announce table into Jeff Hardy! EC3 then slides back into the ring and goes after the legal man, Breeze. Breeze starts to fight back and once again goes for a Beauty Shot on EC3, but again, he ducks, and this time Breeze nails Ellsworth, laying him out. EC3 then hits Breeze with the One Percenter, and begins to drag Ellsworth not over his opponent, but back to his corner so he could make the tag and get the pin himself. He's stopped when Jeff Hardy rushes the ring to get revenge, taking the fight straight to EC3 and nailing him with a Twist of Fate. Jeff looks to the crowd and signals to the turnbuckle to a loud pop, then climbs to the top rope and hits EC3 with a Swanton Bomb as Tiffany screams for the referee to get up and do something. Jeff looks down at Ellsworth and Breeze, and pulls an unconscious Ellsworth's arm over the fallen Tyler Breeze! The crowd begins to cheer once they put two and two together, and Jeff shrugs before leaving the ring. The referee wakes up and slowly counts the 1-2-3, and we have new FNBF Tag Team Champions! Carmella jumps for joy and runs to grab the belts, while Tiffany reluctantly claps a couple of times in confusion. EC3 and Ellsworth slowly wake up to discover they won the match, and Ellsworth begins to jump for joy. EC3 smiles as he looks at his new title, but the smile fades as he looks over at his new partner, then up at Jeff Hardy, who gives EC3 a thumbs up from the stage and holds up the Universal Title. Ellsworth continues to celebrate like he just won the main event of SummerMania, skipping and jumping around a conflicted EC3 as the show goes off the air.