Welcome everybody to NFA 8: Three Stages of Hell! Tonight,
Roman Reigns and
Tarry will finally settle their differences in the only match big enough to do so; Three Stages of Hell! With such a big night ahead of us, let's not waste any time!
The NFA World Heavyweight Champion,
Tiarnán is in the ring with
John Morrison by his side. "I wasn't present at the last show, because
Brandon gave me the night off. At first I assumed that he was finally treating me with the respect a world champion deserves, but when I tuned into NFA that night, I was shocked to hear his announcement. Instead of defending my championship against one man, as was promised, I now have to defend it against four men. How is that fair to me? How is that fair to
The Man, who outlasted 29 other men and earned the right to challenge me one-on-one at SummerMania? Brandon, you really need to explain yourself!" Brandon's music hits, and here comes the NFA Commissioner! "I'll admit, changing the one-on-one match to a Fatal 5-Way isn't exactly fair on yourself or The Man, but forcing the NFA Universe to sit through a match between the two of you wouldn't have been fair either, so I had to spice things up a bit. The Fatal 5-Way will go ahead as planned, and after tonight, we'll know all of the participants. And in the interest of fairness, I'll allow you the opportunity to have some back-up in that match, in the shape of John Morrison here ... if he wins his qualifying match, of course." Suddenly, John Morrison grabs Brandon from behind, restraining his arms. Tiarnán squares up to Brandon, and sprays the green mist, but Brandon manages to swing his leg upwards, low blowing John Morrison, allowing Brandon to get free just in time. The green mist goes straight into the eyes of John Morrison! Brandon then clotheslines Tiarnán out of the ring! "Oh yeah, that qualifying match, it takes place right now!"
Batista's music hits, and he comes rushing out. The bell sounds to start the match, and Batista immediately grabs hold of a blinded
John Morrison. He lifts him into the air, and plants him down hard with a huge Batista Bomb! Batista makes the cover and gets the quick win, qualifying for the Fatal 5-Way Match at SummerMania.
Shinsuke Nakamura,
Fénix,
Jimmy Uso,
Kalisto and
Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas are in the ring. Hanging above them is a contract that will guarantee the winner of the upcoming Ladder Match at SummerMania a shot at the NFA Cruiserweight Championship. Ladders are surrounding the ring. A table is set up in the ring with a liability waiver sitting on top of it. Kalisto, Fénix, Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas, and Shinsuke Nakamura have already signed the waiver. Jimmy Uso walks up to the table, he grabs the pen, and signs the waiver. He then shouts his mouth off at his opponents, “You’re looking at the new number one contender! The rest of you don’t stand a chance!” The other men exchange glances with each other, they then rush out of the ring, grab a ladder each, and re-enter the ring. Kalisto swings his ladder at Jimmy Uso and sends him flying out of the ring. Almas abandons his ladder and grabs hold of Kalisto’s. The two men scrap over the ladder until Fénix ends it with a huge dropkick to the ladder, knocking both men down. Nakamura then hits Fénix with his ladder. Shinsuke sets the ladder up in the centre of the ring and climbs it. He grabs the contract and shouts, “YeaOh!” Are we witnessing the future? Will Shinsuke Nakamura win the Ladder Match and become the new number one contender to the NFA Cruiserweight Championship? We’ll find out at SummerMania!
It’s now time for the most must-see talk show in NFA history, Miz TV.
The Miz is in the ring and he wastes no time getting into it, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest tonight. She is not only the most beautiful woman in NFA, but also in the entire world; my wife,
Maryse!” Maryse makes her way to the ring with a microphone in hand. “Sweetie, I know this is hard for you, but I’m sure the NFA faithful would love to hear from you. Let’s start with you explaining why you’re not in jail right now.” Maryse looks nervous, “I was released on compassionate grounds, the police officers didn’t think it would be ideal for me to spend so much time in a prison cell whilst waiting for trial. They also don’t view me as a threat, they don’t believe I’m going to reoffend whilst I’m out on bail.” Maryse wipes a tear from her eye, she’s obviously very sorry for everything she’s done. “You’re being very brave, babe, I just have one more question for you; why did you do it?” Maryse takes a sip of water and raises the microphone to her mouth, “I did it for you. I did it so that my husband could have the best career possible. With
Burke around, you weren’t even booked for NFA, and it was only in his absence that you got to appear on the show. People at home are probably wondering why I chose Burke, and it’s very simple, he steals so much of the limelight. If Burke wasn’t around, my husband would have had the starting role in 18 Holes, and he would have won an Oscar for his performance. I tried to eliminate Burke for the good of my husband, but do I regret it? … Hell no!” The crowd boos Maryse as it because obvious that her nervousness and the tears were all just acting, “I would do it all again! Since Burke got sidelined, The Miz has once again become a hot property in Hollywood. He has been offered roles in Justice League, The Avengers, and even Star Wars! I don’t regret a single thing, and if I had to do it again, I would!” The Miz plants his lips on his wife, as they passionately kiss in the centre of the ring. They’re suddenly interrupted by Burke’s music though, and here he comes with
Bayley by his side! They storm the ring, but The Miz and Maryse bail. Burke is really fired up as he tears apart the Miz TV set! Burke grabs a microphone, “You don’t regret what you did? That’s just sick! If that bullet had entered my body just one inch to the right of where it did enter, the doctors said that I wouldn’t be standing here today. I’ve had to face my own mortality, I’ve had nightmares about waking up to find myself inside a casket, and I’m going to have to live with that for a very long time. You know what though, it was just a nightmare for me, but for you two, it’ll be a reality! The Miz and Maryse vs. Burke and Bayley at SummerMania … in a Casket Match!” The crowd erupts in delight, they love the idea of Miz and Maryse potentially getting their comeuppance at SummerMania. “Now I know what you’re thinking, what’s in it for you guys? Well that’s simple, if you accept the challenge, I’ll drop all charges against Maryse.” Burke has laid down the challenge and now The Miz has a microphone in his hand, “We accept!” It’s on at SummerMania! A huge Casket Match between Burke & Bayley and The Miz and Maryse!
Paige makes her way to the ring for her retirement match. Her opponent is her good friend,
Summer Rae. This should be good. The two women engage in a back-and-forth match, with momentum shifting multiple times. Summer Rae attempts a Spinning Heel Kick, but Paige dodges it. Paige then hits the Ram-Paige for the win. Paige hugs Summer and thanks her for the match, she's then handed a microphone from ringside. "I made my professional wrestling debut ten years ago when I was just thirteen years old, and I can tell you, that thirteen year old had no idea what she was getting herself into. I've wrestled all around the world, and I've fought against the very best opponents, and I thank every single one of them. My time here in BP/NFA has been the best time of my life, as weird as it got sometimes. I've teamed with my fellow Brits, Tarry, Nigel McGuinness, and Wade Barrett to face the team of The Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Doink the Clown, and The Boogeyman, which was a lot of fun looking back on it. Of course, I was also abducted by The Wyatt Family at one point. I don't regret a single thing about my career, and I don't regret having to retire for the reason I've chosen. Thank you to each and every one of you who have supported me along the way, I love you all." The crowd applauds Paige and she stands in the middle of the ring with tears in her eyes.
Sweet Saraya, Paige's mother, is heading down to the ring, what a beautiful moment this is. Saraya grabs the microphone from Paige, "You can't donate your kidney to your father, Paige," she says as Paige looks on confused, "And I'm not saying that because I selfishly want you to continue your career, I'm saying that because you literally can't. You won't be a match, because
Ricky Knight is not your biological father." Saraya drops the microphone and leaves the ring. Paige still has tears in her eyes, but now they're tears of anguish. Paige rolls out of the ring and follows her mother up the ramp.
Jason is backstage stretching when NFA Cruiserweight Champion
Finn Bálor walks up to him. “Listen mate, I don’t want any trouble. I just wanted to apologise for everything that’s been going on between us recently. It’s really been getting out of hand, and I wish you had never started it, we could have been great friends.” Jason squares up to Bálor, “First of all, I didn’t start a damn thing. Honestly, you can shove your apology, because that’s not what I want from you,” Jason looks down at Finn’s waist, “I want that.” Bálor takes a step back, “Excuse me?!” Jason realises what he may have insinuated and clarifies his statement, “Your title, Finn. I want the NFA Cruiserweight Championship, and I’m going to take it from you … at SummerMania!” Jason bumps Bálor’s shoulder with his own as he walks away from his foe.
The blockbuster Pudding Match is up next. The pool of pudding is on the stage, and next to it is a lifeguard’s chair.
Jessica makes her way onto the stage wearing a red one-piece swimsuit a la Pamela Anderson. She blows a whistle and a group of male models rush onto the stage to help her up into the lifeguard’s chair, she then tells the models to take a hike.
Cesaro and
Wolfgang make their way out and into the pool. Jessica goes over the rules, reminding both men that there's a 10 minute time limit, and that the match can only be won by pinfall or submission. She blows her whistle to start the match and the two men go at it. Cesaro spears Wolfgang, and they roll around in the pudding. Wolfgang gets the advantage and holds Cesaro's head under the pudding. Cesaro fights out and does the exact same thing to Wolfgang. 10 minutes fly by and Jessica has no choice but to blow her whistle, calling the match a draw. She calls for the models again, and they return to help her out of her chair. She asks for a microphone and she's given one, "That was amazing. I'm still not as impressed as I could be though, so you're going to have to go at it again on a grander stage. How about you guys go one-on-one at SummerMania in an Underwear Pillow Fight?" I'm sure our commissioner,
Brandon, would have absolutely no problem booking that!
Seth Rollins makes his way to the ring for the second of the three qualifying matches taking place here tonight.
John Cena's music hits, but there's no sign of him. Seth is getting impatient waiting for his opponent. The music stops and restarts, but there's still no sign of Cena. The referee has no choice but to give Rollins the win via forfeit, meaning he qualifies for the Fatal 5-Way Match at SummerMania. There's a loud crashing noise heard backstage, and then suddenly Cena appears to be thrown through the curtain. He hits the metal stage hard, and looks to be hurt pretty bad.
Genesis makes his way out from behind the curtain, and a collective gasp is heard from the live audience. They can't believe how big this guy really is.
Vince McMahon is out of the stage now too, and he's giving orders to Genesis. Genesis lifts Cena's deadweight off of the ground, and then drives him through the stage with a humongous Chokeslam. EMT's hesitate to tend to John Cena, fearing being attacked by Genesis themselves, but thankfully McMahon calls his monster back, and the medical team can finally help Cena.
Nia Jax and
Tamina Snuka are in the ring waiting for their match with
Ronda Rousey to begin. The former UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion, and current number one contender to the NFA Women's Championship, makes her way to the ring. If Ronda Rousey can beat both women here tonight, then she can name the stipulation for her title match against
Eva Marie at SummerMania. The bell sounds and Nia and Tamina waste no time going after Rousey. They attempt to recreate the beat down they delivered to her at NFA 3, but Ronda is having none of it. She hits Tamina with a huge forearm, sending her crashing to the mat. She then belly-to-belly suplexes Nia Jax, taking her down. Tamina is back up, and she tries to attack Rousey from behind. Rousey is wise to the attempted ambush, and she quickly takes Tamina's leg out from under her. She locks in a kneebar and Tamina taps out. Ronda Rousey gets the victory! Nia isn't happy with the decision, and she goes to attack Ronda after the match. Rousey counters the attack into a vicious choke, rendering Nia unconscious. Ronda Rousey takes a microphone after the match, "Eva Marie, I know you're not here tonight, you're too busy being a chicken shit, but I know you're watching. You and I are going to square off for your NFA Women's Championship at SummerMania, and I want to ensure that we're completely alone in that ring. I'm going to decimate you at SummerMania, because our match is going to be a Cage Match!"
Melina makes her way to the ring with a microphone in hand, but before she can say a single word, the NFA Commissioner's music hits, and here comes
Brandon! "Bitch, you got something to say to me?" He demands to know, as Melina looks on at him pissed, "Because I haven't got much time to spare for you." Melina screams in frustration, "I could sue you and get full control over NFA, but a court case would take too much time, so I'm challenging you to a tag team match at SummerMania. Myself and
John Morrison vs. you and a partner of your choice. If ... when we win, we get control of NFA!" Brandon takes a second to think before replying, "I accept, but on one condition, when my team wins, you walk out the door and never come back." Brandon then leaves the ring, presumably to head back to his office to draw up the contract for this huge match.
It's now time for our main event, The Three Stages of Hell Match!
Tarry is out first, and in an unusual move, he's all alone. There's no sign of
The Change.
Roman Reigns is out next, and he sprints to the ring. The bell rings and the Submission Match portion of the match is underway. The two men begin the match by brawling around the ringside area, but it doesn't take long for them to find their way back into the ring. In the ring, Tarry gets the upper hand, using his British style to transition from submission to submission. He locks in the TarryTamer, and Reigns seems to be close to tapping, but with brute force he fights out of the hold and sends Tarry flying across the ring. Reigns hops to his feet, check the ankle that was just worked on, and fights through the pain to deliver a massive Spear to Tarry. He then locks in the Rings of Saturn, forcing Tarry to submit. Reigns goes 1-0 in this best of three contest. The match part of the match is the Street Fight, and of course, here come
Konnor and
Viktor armed with kendo sticks. They mercilessly cane Roman as Tarry recovers. Tarry gets back to his feet and starts giving orders. He tells them to hit the Fall of Man, and that they do. Reigns is hurt. Tarry drags Roman from the mat and drives him with the One Way Ticket and makes the cover, but Reigns somehow kicks out! Tarry tells Konnor to grab him a steel chair. Konnor slides the chair in to Tarry, he opens it and puts it over Reigns' head. He then hits another One Way Ticket, this time with the chair around Roman's neck. He covers Reigns and gets the pinfall. It's now 1-1, which means we need the final match, the Last Man Standing Match! The referee waits for Reigns to make it back to his feet, so that the match can begin fairly. He finally climbs to his feet. The Change get into position for the Fall of Man, and they rush towards Reigns, attempting their signature move. Reigns senses it coming, and rolls out of the way, sending Konnor and Viktor crashing into each other. Reigns then hits a massive double Spear on them, knocking them both out cold. Tarry attacks Reigns from behind with the bent steel chair, and continuously wallops him across the back. The referee counts, but Reigns is up at five. Tarry sets a table up at ringside, and then climbs on the ring apron, but he gets Superman Punched out of nowhere, and falls backwards through the table. The referee counts again, this time getting to seven before Tarry makes it to his feet. Reigns then dives over the top rope, colliding with Tarry, and sending both men down. The referee counts yet again, but both men are up at eight. Tarry grabs a sledgehammer from under the ring, but Roman grabs it and snaps it over his knee. Reigns then charges towards Tarry and Spears him right through the barricade. The referee counts Tarry down for ten, giving Reigns the victory 2-1. Roman re-enters the ring to celebrate gaining entry into the Fatal 5-Way Match when
The Man appears out of nowhere and drops him with a huge hammer fist to the back of the head. The Man then lifts Reigns off of the mat and drives him back down with a nasty looking Powerbomb. The Man stands tall as the screen fades to black.
We hear a woman's heels clicking against a hard floor as the screen fades back up, revealing the woman to be in a warehouse. She walks over to a goldsmith and asks, "Is it ready?" The goldsmith nods at the woman as the camera pans up to reveal the CEO of NFA,
Tiffany! "Perfect."
Thank you for joining us for NFA 8: Three Stages of Hell, we'll be back in 3 weeks with NFA 9. Don't miss it!
Commissioner Brandon is just awful. Someone start the petition to have this guy fired already. The Man goes through 29 people to earn a one-on-one title shot and B just waltzes out and announces that 3 other people are going to be getting title shots too.
(It helped that his name was one of two that I recognized.)
