(some people will have to double over)
Simon - Matt
"Simon is a neurotic English teacher who prides himself on getting on with his class. Whilst he spends a far greater part of his day in the pub and avoiding doing any form of work, he balances this out by worrying about the consequences (especially from his nemesis Jenny).
Naturally neurotic, Simon worries constantly about his love life (or lack of it), and constantly turns to his best friend, Susan, for help. Despite his misgivings, Simon is a loyal and caring friend."
Susan - Mutant
"At the beginning of Teachers, Simon's sensible best friend, Susan is married; however, this is short-lived. After being promoted to Head of Year, Susan struggles to cope with stress and finally tackles the problem of Peter (her husband).
Susan is often seen as a mother figure to Kurt, Brian and Simon, as she is always the person they turn to in a crisis. Despite this 'mumsy' image, Susan is witty and has a brilliant, dry sense of humour. She often deals with Simon in the same way that she would her pupils; this sometimes includes helping him out of tight spots."
Kurt - JayZero
"Kurt is the short, eternally smoking, ICT teacher who is rarely seen without Brian. Due to his long term single status and his even longer term flatmate (Brian), there are rumours that he could be gay.
From Liz's experience, he has the sexual prowess of a slug, but this does not deter him from looking for a girlfriend. Kurt has an on-off relationship with Carol, until she appears pregnant. Matt and Lindsay often tease him about the baby being his.
The naive but likeable Kurt enjoys spending time playing pub games with Brian, Simon and later, JP, Matt and Lindsay."
Brian - Burke
"Brian is rarely seen without his best friend, Kurt. Despite the fact that he does not smoke, he often finds himself outside with his friends whilst they smoke.
Brian begins at Summerdown as a PE teacher, but is desperate to get inside the classroom - he takes advantage of Susan's 'breakdown' to take up a lot of her teaching. After this, he is allowed to teach AS PE and Geography.
Despite the appearance of a general lack of intelligence, Brian is very sweet and would do anything for his friends; for example, he claimed 'the ex was hexed' in regards to a girl who Simon had had a brief encounter with."
Jenny - Malfunkshun
"When Teachers first begins, Jenny is seen as an 'Ice Queen' by Simon; however, as the programme progresses, she becomes more at ease with the other characters. Simon, Kurt and Brian are all attracted, but intimidated by her; this is mainly because she is hard working and seems to enjoy her job!
Simon often feels that she treats him like a child and patronises her, they do like one another more than either would like to admit."
Penny - Me
"When Penny starts at Summerdown School, she is an NQT who uses this as an excuse to shirk her workload. As her character develops through the series, she still has an innate quality to flirt or cry whenever she needs anything.
However, after some strong words from Lindsay, Penny turns herself around and becomes a much more pleasant person.
Penny is generally seen by the children as not being a very good teacher; a view shared especially by Simon and Jenny."
J.P. - B Fizzle
"JP arrives into Teachers as something of an enigma; Kurt and Brian get on very well with him, and newly divorced Susan gets something of a crush on him.
JP keeps his sexuality a secret for some time. Despite Simon's insistence that he's fine with it, he is a little disturbed at sharing a sofa bed with JP when he reveals he is gay.
Although JP's life in Teachers is relatively short lived, he gets on well with everybody and people enjoy his company."
Matt - Tarry
"Matt joins Summerdown School as Simon's replacement, something which Simon struggles to come to terms with when he returns after 'travelling'. Matt's romantic life is something which is highly discussed in the pub; Kurt and Brian are fascinated by what his wife looks like, whereas Penny is simply jealous of her.
Matt finds an uncomplicated friendship with Lindsay, whom he considers to be more mature than Kurt and Brian."
Lindsay - Astro
"Lindsay joins Teachers in the third series when she proves herself to be 'one of the lads'. Brian is so impressed with her burping skills and her ability to down a pint without stopping that he decides he must fancy her. This is complicated however, by the fact that he thinks she's fat. Despite Brian's confusion, Lindsay is in actual fact easy-going and always ready to join in with the lads.
Lindsay is straight talking and quick to put Penny in her place when she whines; however, she is not unkind and helps Bob when he becomes a laughing-stock."
Ewan - Astro
"Initially, unlike Ben and Damien, Ewan is keen to make friends with the teachers from Summerdown. His friendliness, combined with his good looks, does tend to get him into trouble though; he is chased after and fantasised about by a number of women, including Clare and Ping."
Ben - Me
"Ben arrives with Damien and Ewan when Summerdown School merges with another local school in series four.
Initially Ben is reluctant to talk to Penny and Lindsay, but this is due to Damien's influence on him. Throughout the programme, he is easily influenced and is often misled for a joke at his expense.
Ben constantly worries and is paranoid about the majority of things; an example of this is his sudden fear that he will die. Similarly to his predecessors, Kurt and Brian, Ben fails in various parts of his life, including finding a girlfriend."
Damien - Tarry
"Damien is an eternally grumpy character who is incredibly reluctant to talk to any of the teachers from Summerdown School; despite this, he maintains a strong friendship with Ewan and Ben."
Bob - Angelwings
"Bob is the bane of Simon's life as he insists he covers the work required and marks all homework! Bob feels that he is far superior to Simon, Kurt and Brian, but at the same time, he feels as though he is their friend.
Bob spends a great deal of time boasting about his sexual prowess and is too thick skinned to notice that he is making a fool of himself; this is particularly evident when he gets married in the final series!"
Liz - x1988
"Liz is the secretary and personal assistant to Clare. She has a fierce dislike for first Jenny, and then Penny. Liz finds an ally in Simon as they share the same silly, scheming ideas.
Liz fiercely protects both Carol and her daughter Kayla; in some cases, threatening Brian with a 'meeting with Mrs Webb' if he discusses sex in Kayla's year seven Geography class!"
Carol - Zino
"Carol is a very odd character who struggles to communicate effectively with anyone and is regarded as something of an outsider by everyone, except Liz who mothers her.
Carol works under Liz in the School Office and is known for her fickle adoration. She shows her affection to both Kurt and Penny in this way; whilst the feelings are reciprocated with Kurt, Penny uses this to her advantage."
Clare - Malfunkshun
"Clare is the Headmistress of Summerdown School; a job which she takes very seriously. She is very strict and seems to enjoy the power which is bought about by her job.
Clare only rarely lets her guard down, for example, when she hears about Bob's sexual prowess or is suffering from the Menopause!"
Some of the write-ups are a little misleading. Kurt is a lot better than he sounds there.
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