No Fatties Allowed Episode 40!
No Fatties Allowed started with a bang as bombshells
Maryse and the newly crowned Women's Champion,
Tiffany, made their way to the ring, followed by the equally stacked
ODB and our European Champion,
Jessica. Maryse and ODB began the match in a bit of a taunt-off, until Maryse slapped ODB mid titty-spank. Maryse controlled most of the early going until ODB spit the contents of her flask in Maryse's eyes (
Maryse hilariously oversold the cheap tactic), allowing ODB to tag in her much cuter counterpart. Jessica entered the ring and hit the Super Sofaplex on Maryse before following up with the Couch Recliner. Jessica glared a hole through Tiffany as she forced Maryse to tap, letting the Women's Champion know that she was on her radar.
Backstage we caught up with
Sable, who was welcoming two of her newest acquisitions,
Johnny Curtis and
Maxine. Sable reassured the duo that they would be a great addition to No Fatties Allowed as she filed their freshly signed contracts.
Back in the arena, the
Beautiful People made their way to the ring. Their opponents,
LayCool and
Cody Rhodes, were already standing by. Lacey Von Erich climbed out of the ring to cheer on her teammates as the match began, and the Beautiful People seemed to have things under control. Especially Angelina, who appeared to be a bit stiff with Michelle. The direction of the match seemed to change when the men were tagged in, and before Billy Gunn knew it Cody Rhodes had pinned him with the Cross Rhodes! LayCool dog piled Cody in celebration as the female members of the Beautiful People looked on in disbelief.
Billy Gunn tried to appease his girls, but it didn't appear to work as
Angelina,
Lacey and
Velvet circled him. With his back turned to her, Velvet blindsided Billy with the Backstabber. Popping up on impact, Billy was then given a Botox Injection courtesy of Angelina. As Billy Gunn picked himself up, Lacey pulled off her fishnet glovette and beckoned him to his feet. As he turned around, Billy walked into one of the most devastating submission holds in wrestling, the Von Erich Claw! Lacey continued to apply pressure until Billy's eyes rolled shut and he fainted. With the crowd making their feelings toward the Beautiful People clear, our good girls gone bad linked pinkies and headed to the back.
Jessica was fetching a bottle of water when
Tarry surprised her from behind. Smirking at her skittishness, Tarry let Jessica know that she was a joke, and that having a woman hold the European Championship cheapened the once prestigious title, and that he wanted to bring class and dignity back to the championship. "Oh, you're so on." Jessica chuckled. She wasn't going to be intimidated by someone who has tea time.
Elsewhere backstage,
Kelly Kelly stepped out of her dressing room and made her way to the stadium for in-ring competition. As Kelly moved down the hall,
World's Strongest Man stepped into frame, looking awfully sketch. WSM kept his eyes on Kelly until she was out of sight, then crept into her dressing room.
Melina made her way to the ring, followed by
Kelly Kelly. Fans at ringside were given earplugs as the two Divas prepared to clash. Melina took early control of the match, but Kelly fought back with a neckbreaker. With both Divas down,
World's Strongest Man stepped onto the stage, carrying Kelly's Louis Vuitton suitcase with him. Kelly watched in horror as WSM poured some of her most capable looking outfits onto the ramp, including her unmentionables! As WSM sorted through the items, Melina snuck up behind Kelly and hit her with the Sunset Split for the win. WSM continued to examine one of Kelly's racier Victoria's Secret purchases until
Burke ran on stage. WSM instantly dropped Kelly's clothes and skedaddled to the back with Burke in hot pursuit.
After a quick break, we returned to find
Jason in the ring for his #1 contender's match.
International Relations made their way to the ring in the gear that Brandon purchased on Tarry's dime. Jason took instant control of the match, having fun with Brandon before getting another shot at the United States Championship. As Brandon complained to the referee about Jason messing up his hair, Tarry slid into the ring. Thinking he saw commotion in his peripheral, the referee tried to turn around, but Brandon grabbed the official and kissed him, allowing Tarry to hit the Tarrydise on Jason. Shoving the referee aside, Brandon pounced on Jason for the cover and the referee was quick to make the count. A little
too quick. Brandon shied away from the eager ref as he tried to raise the blonde's hand, and even Tarry eyeballed Brandon's very own Slick Johnson as he stepped in to raise the hand of his partner.
European Invasion continued their winning streak, making quick work of
Londrick. Will anyone be able to put an end to the reign of René Duprée and Magnus? Spoiler alert: No.
Our main event saw
The Miz victorious in a ten man battle royal to determine the challenger for Jayzero's title at Hardcore XXXmas. Notable eliminations included
Burke, who was still heated from earlier, spearing
World's Strongest Man through the ropes and chasing him up the ramp; disgruntled workers
Edge and
Chris Jericho Gail Kiming themselves; and
Randy Orton, who was eliminated when
Brandon (
claiming to be at ringside for his partner) checked his reflection in Orton's United States Championship, allowing
Tarry to sneak up behind the distracted Apex Predator and throw him over the top rope.
The music of
Jayzero interrupted
The Miz's celebration, and soon the World Heavyweight Champion and the #1 contender were face to face in the ring. The Miz proceeded to let Jayzero know that at Hardcore XXXmas, the World Heavyweight title would be coming home with him, "Because I'm The Miz... and I'm -" Before The Miz could finish, Jayzero leveled his foe with the title. The fans cheered for the simple fact that someone finally shut The Miz up as Jayzero stood over his unconscious challenger and another episode of No Fatties Allowed came to a close.
