Hairtastrophe

[Brandon]

Throughout history, women in wrestling have struggled. Struggled to be taken seriously. Struggled to be treated just like one of the guys. Struggled to have time and effort put into their segments. Most of all, they've struggled with they hair.

The first defendant on trial, Layla:

[Tiffany]

Layla's curls were in their heyday during the Diva Search. She went onto win the Divas' Search where she unfortunately succumbed to the pressures to fit a certain ideal. While her new straight tresses didn't pose a threat at first, the constant styling eventually took a toll. Stripped of their luster, her curls have never been the same. Nowadays, Layla's hair is looking silkier, shinier, and healthier... leading the jury to believe that she has either purchased a good weave or has finally discovered the benefits of deep conditioning. We are leaning towards the former.

Just look at how much happier and vibrant she looks now. I rest my case.

[Brandon]

While you make a compelling case, and Layla does look better today, that doesn't hide the fake that she ruined her effervescent curls by selling out. And I'm not going to hate on fake hair. Her weave is nice. Doesn't hide the fact that we've all seen the rat's nest that's really underneath it though. Not to mention that she paraded around with that mess for how long exactly? Too long. No matter how "flawless" she thinks she may be, we all know the truth. That's my take on the matter.

[Tiffany]

Defendant: Layla
Charge: Selling Out

Verdict: Not Guilty 3/5

[Tiffany]

*beep* has committed some of the most shameful hair offenses of our time. From harsh highlights to overflamboyant hairstyles to unreliable extensions. *beep* may have finally gotten it together over time, but the visual onslaught she has subjected our eyes to is unforgivable.

We hold these truths to be self-evident:




SMH

[Brandon]

After subjecting us to years worth of OMG WTF hair moments, Melina is a hard one to defend. However, over time she has seemingly grasped the concept that less is more, and has adopted a much more low key look.



They say wrestlers use the time they have while injured to reflect. It seems Melina did just that when she returned in late 2008 with a much more toned down style. Channeling a rare, simple style she rocked with MNM in 2005, Melina left the Cindy Lou Who approach behind, and returned with long, sleek, luxurious raven hair. This new look has really put a stop to those ridiculously over the top bird's nests hairstyles, as well as the drag queen rumors.

In the case of Melina, I'm willing to let her off with a strict warning. She has a gay boyfriend, so I can see how her judgement could be clouded. The man who's supposed to tell her when she does and does not look good is only trying to live vicariously through the fierceness.

[Tiffany]

Defendant: Melina
Charge: Looking Trannylicious

Verdict: Guilty 4/5

[Tiffany]

Beautiful Person Angelina Love is known for her impeccable fashion sense, God-given good looks, and her luxurious golden blonde locks. However, she is also quite notorious for something less glamorous: hair of faux-pas past!

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you:


The journey from the indies to the BIG TIME is a long and suffering one. Somewhere down that road, Angelina befriended an angry Rastafarian who told her her albino micro braids looked cute. Thus, evidence of her lapse in judgment (in her early modeling career) has haunted her ever since.

However, unlike quite a few defendants we've seen in Hairtastrophe, Angelina has managed to overcome her unfortunate blunder. In TNA, we've witnessed Miss Love stepping her hair game up on multiple occasions:




channeling the QUEEN, perhaps?

---

Verdict? Well, as proven by our own Velvet Sky in Ratchet Wrestler Relationships, even Beautiful People make mistakes. Angelina's ability to transform into the beautiful butterfly she is today is only a testament to her case. Therefore, I hereby announce the verdict for the defendant.


whip that hurr, girl!

Defendant: Angelina Love
Charge: Channeling Sheneneh Jenkins

Verdict: Not Guilty 2/5

[Brandon]

^ by far the best turn around of the bunch.

[Mutant Couch]

As the evidence in my avatar clearly shows, I'm definitely qualified to comment on bad hair. Having stated that, I feel Shawn Michaels deserves a spot in this.

Edit: Nevermind I see where this makes up for everything:

I apologize.

[Tiffany]

Oct 16, 2010 1:53:12 GMT -5 Mutant Couch said:

I feel Shawn Michaels deserves a spot in this.

Hairtastrophe is gender-specific. Sorry, we only carry sizes Diva and Knockout. You could try Gaywatch.

[Mutant Couch]

It's totally understandable. If you were to even begin to dig into the atrocities that the male wrestlers have sported on their head all computers involved would likely combust.

Gaywatch was not even remotely what I was expecting.

[Tiffany]

Can't send for one without the other. This episode of Hairtastrophe features none other than Velvet Sky.

Beautiful Person Velvet Sky has skyrocketed to fame as one-half of TNA's Beautiful People. Unfortunately, horrid hair mishaps appear to run in this faction.

Before leaving her beauty mark on TNA Impact, poor Velvet has worked many indie venues on the way - forced to join forces with a butch by the name of April Hunter. Uncoincidentally, this is where most of her offenses have occurred.

Not exactly what Ricky Martin had in mind when he said "She Bangs." The platinum blonde really washes her out. This compelling evidence leads the jury to question whether or not Miss Velvet was unknowingly placed under the influence during the occurrence of these heinous acts. And don't even get me started on those roots.

Eventually, VelVel found a style that suits her. The only problem being that her style hasn't changed since. While the courts understand Miss Sky's reluctance to fix what ain't broke, those two-tone highlights appear to be perpetually glued to her scalp. At times, even her tresses have looked defeated by the constant abuse. Case in point:

_{"no life to those curls whatsoever" - special guest prosecutor, BFizzle}

Though, Velvet does manage to shake things up somewhat every now and then. And despite everything, her transformation is still rather inspirational and impressive! Beauty is all about knowing what works for you, so I can't fault Velvet too much for that. Apparently, she takes the same approach to her hair as she does her relationships. Maybe in 10 years, she'll brave a side-part.

Defendant: Velvet Sky
Charge: Following the Yellow Butch Road

Verdict: Not Guilty 3/5 (by the nape of her neck)



Just lay that curling iron to rest, girl.

[jayzero42690]

In the before pics, the two where she's wearing bright pink, I thought it was Jillian at first. Then the next pick she looks like Cindy Lauper. Current Cindy Lauper.

She's hot as fuck now but back in the day, I wouldn't have looked twice.

[Deleted]

Vel Vel did some hav questionable hairstyles in the past and as said most of them were when she was teaming with April Hunter. BTW I always preferred Talia / Velvet on her own then when she teamed with April. I did like Velvet's hairstyle when she was in WxW though. Well I thought she looked cute with it anyway.

I agree that Velvet's hair does look a lot better today. I miss the hairstyle she had earlier this year. I love her straight hair look but really miss her curly hair style. Maybe Velvet will go back to that look.