Celebrity Hookups & Breakups

[Brandon]

Kaley Cuoco & Henry Cavill Are Fugging

Because Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill know that the tabloids are going to need a picture of them holding hands for their "Yep, We're Fucking!" covers next week, they held hands while going grocery shopping for a ho stroll stroll in front of the paps in Sherman Oaks, CA yesterday. You can almost hear their publicists saying into the earpieces they're wearing, "Okay Henry, put your hand in your pocket and make it look real casual. Okay, Kaley, do that McKayla face so it looks like you're 'meh' about boning Superman even though we all know that we had to sedate your coochie for this photo-op, because it kept howling every time you touched him."

These two just told us that they were doing it earlier this week and they're already working those paps like Pimp Mama Kris is pulling their strings. They're going to be papped house hunting tomorrow, shopping for engagement rings on Saturday, getting a marriage license on Sunday, buying baby clothes on Monday and coming out of the hospital with their new baby on Tuesday. These two are quickly becoming my favorite PRomance of all PRomances. Because just like Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, jealous whores on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook are hating on Kaley like it's their full-time job (aka like a blogger). Who knew that the blond Katy Perry meets Tori Spelling-looking trick from The Big Bang Theory could bring out emotions in anybody. I love it.

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They're both horrible dressers.

[Mutant Couch]

That shirt is Photoshopped, right?

[jayzero42690]

Maybe it's like one of those 3D picture things, and if you look through it, you'll see a good t-shirt, or a sail boat

[Brandon]

Or a seizure.

[jayzero42690]

I just realized the guy that plays Superman and the girl I always wanted to play Supergirl are now having sex

[Burke]

When I heard she used to date Leonard from BBT I remember thinking he was way out of her league.

I mean, I can just about buy into them dating on the show but I refused to believe that her standards would be that low irl.

Jul 4, 2013 20:17:06 GMT -5 Brandon said:

Because Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill know that the tabloids are going to need a picture of them holding hands for their "Yep, We're Fucking!" covers next week, they held hands while going grocery shopping for a ho stroll stroll in front of the paps in Sherman Oaks, CA yesterday. You can almost hear their publicists saying into the earpieces they're wearing, "Okay Henry, put your hand in your pocket and make it look real casual. Okay, Kaley, do that McKayla face so it looks like you're 'meh' about boning Superman even though we all know that we had to sedate your coochie for this photo-op, because it kept howling every time you touched him."

These two just told us that they were doing it earlier this week and they're already working those paps like Pimp Mama Kris is pulling their strings. They're going to be papped house hunting tomorrow, shopping for engagement rings on Saturday, getting a marriage license on Sunday, buying baby clothes on Monday and coming out of the hospital with their new baby on Tuesday. These two are quickly becoming my favorite PRomance of all PRomances. Because just like Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, jealous whores on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook are hating on Kaley like it's their full-time job (aka like a blogger). Who knew that the blond Katy Perry meets Tori Spelling-looking trick from The Big Bang Theory could bring out emotions in anybody. I love it.

I don't know if it's a male/female, a young/old person, etc, but I can tell that if I was ever in the same room as the person who wrote this article I'd probably want to shoot myself in the fucking head.

[Brandon]

I was about to let you all know that Henry Cavill dumped Kaley Cuoco already, but as I was typing it up I heard on E! News that Ryder and Marley of Glee fame are engaged and I erased everything.



I didn't even know they were dating, let alone engaged.


This wont do...