NFA/FNBF 2017

[Burke]

We open cold with Seth Rollins and Jason both furious over the events of Sunday night when special guest referee EC3 laid them both out and left with the Universal Championship. Seth demands that Tiffany get his belt back. She says EC3 hasn’t arrived to the arena yet and to just bear with her, because she has a lot on her plate tonight. At that moment she receives a message from her assistant notifying her that BPW CEO Batista has just entered the building and will be going straight to the ring. Tiffany looks stressed at all the shit going down right now.

The Beast has been unleashed! Batista is here and he looks like he’s all business tonight. He gets in the ring and asks that the entire FNBF roster please come out for this address. The roster makes their way onto the stage with everyone looking around nervously. Big Dave says Shane McMahon was left wheelchair bound following a brutal and cowardly attack a couple months ago and while Tiffany has been running an investigation into the incident, he has been running his own and over the weekend he uncovered a damning piece of evidence. A discarded surveillance tape from the Los Angeles Staples Centre dated August 4 2017 found its way to his desk from an anonymous source. “Production truck, if you will please.” Grainy surveillance footage plays of Shane McMahon in the backstage area when he is struck from behind with a large weapon. The camera zooms in on a blurry figure wearing what looks to be an EC3 “EC3time Champ” hoodie. The audience gasps, as do the wrestlers on the stage. Batista says okay then, where is he. “I guess he’s hiding behind all of you. Step aside and let him show himself.” The roster look around but EC3 is nowhere to be found. A stage hand informs Batista that EC3 hasn’t arrived yet. Batista is pissed but says that when EC3 arrives there will be hell to pay. Following a commercial break Batista is in Tiffany’s office and asks when EC3 is due to arrive. She says she’s not sure but she just contacted a local limousine rental service and apparently someone with his name rented a vehicle and is said to be on his way here as we speak. Tiffany asks Dave if she’s sure it was EC3. “That footage isn’t exactly high quality. Could it be someone wearing his merch trying to frame him?” Batista says he’s sure. In that case, Tiffany tells him to throw the book at him when he arrives.

Father William is in in-ring action for the first time on FNBF and his opponent is the man with the glorious (and now all natural) ass, Tony Nese. Before the match begins, the father addresses his opponent. He says Tony should cover that thing up more because he’s tempting straight men to turn with a big old ass like that. Corey Graves is like, umm, okay, that’s an interesting comment. The good father asks for the crowds silence as he reads a verse from the bible but he is barely able to be heard over their booing. The match begins and Sister Thea is again at ringside with her collection plate. Tony looks to have the win within grasp when he heads up top for the 450 splash but Father William moves then hits the Holy Slaughter for the win. He once again poses like Jesus on the cross and Byron Saxton apologizes, saying the actions of Father William aren’t endorsed by BPW as an organization. Father William once again takes a mic and says this is just the beginning of Nese paying for his sins. He says women prefer a more normal (*cough* flatter *cough*) sized derriere like his over Tony’s monstrosity anyway. He asks Sister Thea to back him up. She hesitates at first and has a cheeky look at Tony’s unconscious ass but then agrees at Father William’s insistence. They exit to more boos.

McKenzie Mitchell is in the parking lot waiting for EC3 to arrive when Kevin Owens does instead. He looks embarrassed and banged up following his loss in that brutal last man standing match with Tye Dillinger on Sunday. McKenzie tries to get a word with him but he’s having none of it. “Shut up, Ariane!” “I’m not Ariane…I’m McKen…” “I said shut up!” KO says he’s already had enough and isn’t putting up with these people tonight and turns right back around and leaves.

Up next is a rematch from this year’s SummerMania as The Iconic Duo face Charlotte and Dana Brooke in tag-team action. Our Women’s Champs are out first and address the audience. They ask us to look at the titantron. A recent tweet by NFA Superstar Alexa Bliss is shown in which she says she is the most iconic female in the industry today. Peyton and Billie burst out in fake laughter for an uncomfortably long amount of time, finally being interrupted by their opponents. Charlotte is livid at the controversial loss she suffered at the hands of the iconic ones on Sunday and takes it to the co-Women’s champs from the opening bell. Dana, who picked up a huge win on Sunday over Emma in a brutal parking lot brawl, also impresses. Charlotte makes Billie tap to the Figure-Eight. After the match she places Peyton in the hold too and she taps! She doesn’t want to release the hold but Dana drags her off and eventually calms her down. The Aussie duo scamper to the back. Charlotte is clearly not finished with them.

Batista is pacing back and forward in the back when he is approached by Corey Graves, who has left the announce desk. “Mr. Batista, I believe I have some information that will be quite useful to you.”

The face-fucking fanatic himself Tom Phillips informs us that Sasha Banks won’t be here tonight. He explains that after an investigation, acting General Manager Tiffany has decided to suspend her for one week for her inflammatory comments on last week’s FNBF.

You’ll never catch him in the next man’s sweater but you can catch him defending his Television title every week on FNBF, that’s right, the champ is here! John Cena arrives and tells the locker room to come get some. The challenge is accepted this week by Rusev. Lana is apparently not here tonight as she is still nursing the injuries she received at the hands of Nia Jax on Sunday. The Bulgarian Brute obviously wants revenge on Cena for his part in Sunday’s match. You don’t always get what you want though and after a tough back and forth tussle, Cena powers out of an Accolade, rams Rusev into the corner and quickly hits the Attitude Adjustment for the 123. Perhaps targeting “the face that runs the place” immediately upon arriving on FNBF wasn’t the wisest move, after all.

The Miz and Maryse are backstage. They gloat about their win over Chris Jericho on Sunday before announcing that they’ll have a huge guest next week on Miz TV. They also tease some huge news of their own which will be announced!

Laurel Van Ness and Billy Gunn are shooting an engagement photoshoot. Laurel is sporting a huge diamond on her ring finger. She wears some very revealing outfits during the shoot and poor Billy can barely contain himself at points. The shoot is interrupted by Brandon. He saunters onto the set and addresses his father. He says he humiliated him on Sunday so it’s time to repay the favour. He says that his Dad looks like he needs a cold shower, but maybe this’ll do the trick. “Boys?” The Revival enter, wielding fire extinguishers. Dash and Dawson spray the ever-loving shit out of the newly engaged couple and leave them looking a damn mess. Brandon grabs the camera from the photographer and takes some snaps of them in their distressed state before leaving. “Happy engagement!”

Our next scheduled match is Nia Jax vs. Emma. These women had contrasting results on Sunday but this is a new day so let’s see who comes out on top tonight. With Nia already in the ring, Emma comes out all bandaged up after the beating she took from Dana Brooke on Sunday. She says she has a note from her doctor and won’t be able to compete tonight. The ref looks at it and says it looks like a forgery. Emma assures him it’s real and says it sucks she can’t wrestle tonight but oh well. She grabs Nia’s hand and shakes it, saying sorry, maybe another time. She laughs smugly and goes to leave but Nia won’t let go of her hand. Emma reacts in horror as Nia pulls her in and drops her with a huge Samoan drop! Byron Saxton finds this hilarious. “Well, I guess Emma technically didn’t wrestle tonight after all!” Corey tells him to stop and says this is a travesty.

It’s been on hiatus while they dealt with American Alpha but Breezango are back with another episode of the Fashion Files! It’s Breezango and the Case of the Not So Perfect 10! Dango and Breeze announce that they’ve appointed themselves as fashion consultants for the upcoming FNBF 2K18 video game. They say while they were conducting their research they found something disturbing. They play a clip of Tye Dillinger’s entrance from the game. “What is he wearing?!” They look absolutely sick to their stomach. Tyler actually has to cover his mouth to avoid spewing. We flash cut to Tye Dillinger’s dressing room. He’s celebrating his huge win over Kevin Owens on Sunday when Breezango enter. They empty his bag and take out all of his clothes. Tye asks what the hell is going on but they continue. They finally come to that dumb conehead looking thing he wears and Dango shakes his head. “Tragic. How did this fly under our radar for so long.” He threatens to place Tye under arrest for crimes against fashion. Breeze shows a little mercy though. He says this is technically Tye’s first violation so maybe they can let him off with a warning, on one condition. They must burn the conehead vest. Fandango agrees and pulls out a lighter. He sets it on fire and the fire alarm goes off. “Alarms may be ringing but this crisis has just been averted, my friend.” They step intimidatingly to Tye and say they’ll be keeping an eye on him. They leave as Tye looks around at the carnage that has been left, completely stunned. “What just happened?”

Sable and Torrie Wilson are here! We knew both legends were in town after appearing at Massacre on 69th Street on Sunday but their presence tonight is a shock to the FNBF Universe. Unfortunately they’re here for a somber reason. They pay their respects to the iconic Hugh Hefner, who helped them become the stars they are today. Not only Sable and Torrie, but other BPW greats like Maryse, Tiffany and Lacey Von Erich also posed for Playboy in the past. A video package plays showing all of their Playboy covers and behind the scenes of their photoshoots. The video ends and the camera happens upon an acne-faced teenage boy, looking flabbergasted by what he just saw. On this day he became a man.

A sit-down interview FNBF special correspondent Ariane Andrew conducted with Ember Moon earlier today plays. Ariane says Ember’s match with Sasha Banks on Sunday was a classic and the FNBF Universe have been raving about it all week but it must have been a tough loss for her to take. In fact, Ariane notes that Ember has a habit of falling short when it matters most. She’s lost every Women’s Championship match she’s ever competed in. And on Sunday, she lost a match that would surely have put her first in line for a title shot had she won. “So Ember, how does it feel to impress the fans each and every time you go out there but never actually win the big one?” Ember sits quietly then gets up and walks out of the room, leaving Ariane bemused. “Was it something I said?”

Chris Jericho is in action as he faces Dolph Ziggler. Dolph puts up a decent showing but ends up doing what he usually does and loses. Y2J slips out of a Zig-Zag attempt and hits the Codebreaker! He locks the Walls of Jericho in for good measure and Dolph has no choice but to tap. Y2J gets his first big FNBF win and celebrates with his Jerichoholics.

A limo pulls into the parking lot. Could it be? It is, EC3 has arrived! He is carrying the Universal Championship which he stole on Sunday. He addresses someone inside the limo then exits. Cameras are flashing everywhere and everyone is staring at him. “What, did I miss something?!” He laughs and makes his way into the arena as we cut to a commercial break.

We’re back and Batista is in the ring. He says the man of the hour has finally arrived and it’s time to face the consequences. He calls out EC3. The former Universal Champ makes his way out to thunderous boos. He looks mystified by the reaction but laughs it off. Batista says part of him wants to just kick his ass or fire him right now but first, he wants answers. “Why? Why dammit?” EC3 plays dumb. “Why did I take the title on Sunday? Simple, because it belongs to me.” Batista grabs him by the scruff of his neck and tells him to cut the shit. EC3 breaks free and climbs out the ring. He says this is an unsafe working environment and backs away up the ramp but he is met by the entire roster arriving on the stage and blocking his exit, including acting General Manager Tiffany and the two men EC3 screwed over on Sunday, Seth Rollins and Jason. EC3 reluctantly inches back into the ring. Tiffany slides in the ring and slaps him. EC3 just laughs and says he enjoyed it. Batista says he took out Shane McMahon. We all know now. After a long pause EC3 replies, “you’re damn right I did!” Batista smirks, his suspicious confirmed. “And you…you put him up to it.” He points at Tiffany and the crowd gasps. Tiffany’s jaw drops but she eventually grabs the mic from Batista. “You’re damn right I did!” Tiffany grabs EC3 and they make out in the middle of the ring as the crowd is throwing trash in the ring. Tiffany pulls a huge diamond ring out of her pocket and places it on her finger. “The engagement is back on!” Batista is disgusted. He says earlier tonight he learned that a month ago Tiffany was told that EC3 was the main suspect in the attack and she failed to follow up on it. He says that’s when all the pieces finally fell into place. He says congratulations on the engagement though. Enjoy married life on the unemployment line. “Because you’re both fir…” EC3 stops him. “Not so fast, Dave. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” He says he has some power around here but the real power now lies elsewhere. Batista asks him what the hell he’s talking about. Tiffany sneaks behind Batista and brings him to his knees with a low blow. EC3 laughs. “You don’t run this show. We run this show!” The roster are about to enter the ring and take them out but he says wait. He points to the titantron. The limo he arrived in is shown. A middle aged woman emerges from the limo with a huge smile on her face. “Evening, sugs!” EC3 makes a formal introduction. “Ladies and gentlemen, my aunt…and the new majority shareholder of Friday Night Bitch Fight…Dixie Carter!” Dixie makes her way past the stunned roster on the ramp and enters the ring for a group hug with her nephew and Tiffany. The superstars around the ring are absolutely flabbergasted as Dixie takes EC3’s mic before the show fades to black. “Buckle up buckaroos!”

[Brandon]

Tiffany has an assistant? Her when she heard that Batista was in the building:


EC3 does actually have his own hoodie, but I know it's too much to expect you to even do a quick Google search's research.

EC3 when he finds whoever put that tape on Batista's desk:

Sept 29, 2017 13:36:08 GMT -5 Burke said:

Father William once again takes a mic and says this is just the beginning of Nese paying for his sins. He says women prefer a more normal (*cough* flatter *cough*) sized derriere like his over Tony’s monstrosity anyway.

How do you get Ariane and McKenzie mixed up...

The PornHub CEO may as well extend an offer to Tom Phillips to make his face fucking fantasies come true.

Sept 29, 2017 13:36:08 GMT -5 Burke said:

You’ll never catch him in the next man’s sweater but you can catch him defending his Television title every week on FNBF, that’s right, the champ is here!

God, I hate you... I'm impatiently waiting for the day Cena demands a challenger and Braun Strowman's theme hits.

Diva era teas with me interrupting a photoshoot. However, I'm sure I also ended up covered in a white substance by the end of the night...

Nnnn, Emma. Your commentary dialogue is always on point.

Shouldn't it be BPW 2K18, though? 💀 Oh, wow. I showed you that 205 Live segment between Breezango and Drew Gulak so you could have Fandango homoerotically intimidate Tye Dillinger, and you used all of my suggestions for that segment BUT that. You really need to work through your subconscious homophobia, especially when you have no problem flashing Mandy Rose's titties every week.

Sept 29, 2017 13:36:08 GMT -5 Burke said:

The video ends and the camera happens upon an acne-faced teenage boy, looking flabbergasted by what he just saw.

I don't know why you included yourself in this segment, but RIP Hef.

Ember came THIS close to turning heel during that sit-down:


WHEW, this final segment is a WCW messy kinda ride. Tiffany going from slapping EC3 and acting as outraged as Batista, to happily admitting she was in on it, kissing him, and putting on her engagement ring. 💀 That visual of them ferociously making out while the crowd throws trash into the ring will go down in history, though.

Sept 29, 2017 13:36:08 GMT -5 Burke said:

“Buckle up buckaroos!”

Please don't ruin this potentially amazing storyline with purposely bad writing.

[Tarry]

Who's Tiffany's assistant though? It seems we have a new mystery to solve here on FNBF

I didn't even suspect EC3 for a second, even though you told me in a PM that he would be turning heel this month. I thought you had changed your mind on the turn, lol. He's in deep shit when Batista gets his hands on him

All this time we thought Father William's switch hitter was John Cena, but it's actually Tony Nese's ass 💀

Poor KO. I don't blame him for leaving the arena in embarrassment, that's much better than losing his mind because of an embarrassing loss

I'm sure that tweet will come back to haunt Alexa

I hope Corey's informant is eventually revealed to the world, and I hope it's Hornswoggle

Just because Brad Maddox is no longer around to get kink shamed on a weekly basis on NFA, it doesn't mean you have to fill the lack of kink shaming by targeting poor Tom Philips 😭

Rusev is the only person in the BPW Universe being booked the same way as he is in WWE, lol

I can't believe Brandon sprayed his own father with white stuff. I'm loving this whole saga between Brandon, The Revival, Billy Gunn, and Laurel Van Ness

Please start writing Byron's obsession with Nia (and her feet) into all of her future segments, thanks

Excuse me, why is FNBF getting their own video game? Is NFA not good enough to be included? How rude.

RIP Conehead vest ... You won't be missed

I love storylines surrounding people never being able to win the big one. Ember is the perfect choice for this one. I already can't wait for her to finally do it.

Chills @ the entire roster banding together to prevent EC3 from escaping. Holy shit! I ruled Tiffany out entirely, but man, it was so obvious! Sometimes the most obvious suspect is the best reveal, a swerve is only worth it if it makes sense, so I'm so glad you went down the obvious route. Dixie Carter?! Oh my god! She would 100% say, "Buckle up buckaroos!" though 😂 That entire segment was incredible, probably your best so far, and you've written a lot of great ones since you took over

[Tarry]

Welcome once again to your favourite television show of the week! Matt Striker and Nigel McGuinness, the voices of NFA, run down tonight's card, hyping our huge main event. But first, we head to the ring for Women's Division action! JoJo, take it away!

"This match is schedule for one fall, and it is for the NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship!" The former champion, Alexa Bliss, makes her way to the ring first, determined to reclaim her championship. Out next is the reigning and defending NFA Women's Intercontinental Champion, Natalya! Natalya makes her way to the ring, bringing 2Pawz with her. She places 2Pawz in a carrier placed on a podium at ringside, and the heads into the ring. The bell rings and Alexa immediately gets the jump on Nattie. Alexa drops Natalya with a forearm smash, and then viciously stomps on the back of Nattie's neck. She rolls her opponent over and connects with Insault to Injury, making the cover after the move. The referee begins the count, but Natalya kicks out! Alexa goes up top for Twisted Bliss, but there's commotion going on at ringside that catches her eye. The camera pans to the crowd to show FNBF's The Iconic Duo making their way towards two empty seats on the front row. Alexa Bliss yells out to them, asking who the hell let them in. Billie Kay and Peyton Royce wave their tickets at Alexa, showing that they've paid to be here tonight. The distraction pays dividends for Natalya, who sneaks up behind Alexa and connects with a sit down Powerbomb from top rope! The referee counts the fall, declaring Natalya the winner. Nattie takes 2Pawz out of the carrier case and takes him to the back to celebrate her retention.

We cut to Becky Lynch storming into Summer Rae's office, "Last week was the most embarrassing moment of my life, and I reckon it could have been prevented if you had been here to explain to the police that my attack on Ronda Rousey was all part of the show," Becky says, throwing her weight around, "So you'd better make it up to me by giving me someone to unleash straight fiya on tonight!" Summer prepares to respond to Becky's request, when suddenly, the door flies open and Naomi barges in, "Why the hell was I not booked on the show last week?" Naomi asks, "You'd better not forget to book me tonight!" Summer stands up from her desk and walks over to the two women in her office, "I'm afraid I have to leave early tonight, so I'm personally unable to grant either of your requests, but my assistant here will be happy to help." Summer leaves the office as the camera pans to show Rockstar Spud sat on a tiny stool in the corner of the room. He stands up from the stool, clears his throat, looks down at his clipboard, and then over to the TV in the office which is showing The Iconic Duo sitting at ringside, throwing popcorn at Matt Striker and Nigel McGuinness, "So you both want to get your hands on somebody tonight?" he asks, "Well, there are two extremely disruptive fans in attendance, do you fancy working security for a few minutes?" Naomi and Becky Lynch exchange a glance, before leaving the office together, heading down the corridor, passing through the Gorilla Position, and heading down the ramp to ringside. Becky Lynch and Naomi tell The Iconic Duo to stand up, but they continue to sit in defiance. Naomi and Becky don't put up with their shit for long though, as they reach over the barricade and drag them out of their seats, beating their ass at ringside before dragging them to the back. The two NFA women continue to drag the two FNBF women through the corridor of the arena, heading towards the exit. They toss them out of the door, resulting in them crashing into a pile of garbage bags. Naomi and Becky Lynch head back into the arena, locking the door behind them.

PJ Black and Jack Evans, still performing under the name The Worldwide Underground, are in the ring ready for tag team action. Their opponents are the much bigger team of Akam and Rezar, The Authors of Pain, who are making their in-ring debut here tonight. Paul London leads The Authors of Pain to the ring, telling them, "Do it for The White Rabbit!" Akam begins the match by almost decapitating Black with a huge clothesline! PJ crawls over to Jack Evans, tagging him into the match. Jack springboards into the ring with a forearm attempt, but Akam swats him to one side. Akam tags in Rezar, and The Authors of Pain double team Jack Evans, performing The Last Chapter to pick up the quick win. PJ Black enters the ring to check on Evans, but he's dropped by Rezar. Paul London orders The Authors of Pain to finish off The Worldwide Underground, and they comply by destroying them with the Super Collider! The NFA Tag Team Division rush down the ramp, too late to save The Worldwide Underground. Suddenly, a smoke of cloud appears in the ring, concealing The White Rabbit Following. NFA Tag Team Champions, Enzo Amore & Kane, The New Day, British Strong Style, Támi, Jace-Hero & Roderick Strong enter the cloud of smoke, as The Usos, The Guerrillas of Destiny, and The Dashing Ones patrol the outside of the ring. The cloud of smoke clears, and The White Rabbit Following are now nowhere to be seen. The tag teams exchange the same confused look, as Paul London is heard saying, "Follow The White Rabbit!" over the speakers.

Tonight the three challengers for the NFA World Heavyweight Championship will share their thoughts on their chances in the match. Cathy Kelley is standing by with THE Tarrynator, "Tarrynator, people think you're the underdog in tonight's match, what do you have to say to those people?" "First of all, who the hell are you? You must be new here." "I literally interviewed you last week." "I don't recall," THE Tarrynator replies, scratching his head, "Something that people will be able to recall for an eternity though, will be my performance in tonight's main event, a performance that most athletes only dream of! I will defeat The World's Funkiest Man, Prince Devitt, and Leakee, and I will reclaim my BP World Championship! 2012 is my year!"

Kalisto makes his way to the ring for the Mask vs. Mask match! His opponent is the man who he has been frequently tagging with in recent weeks, The Viper, but this match could see their friendship come to an abrupt end. The Viper makes his way to the ring next, hoping to win the match and conceal his identity for a while longer. The two men shake hands as the bell rings. Kalisto delivers a stiff kick to the gut of The Viper, following up with a spiking Tornado DDT. Kalisto makes the cover, but The Viper kicks out! Kalisto climbs the top rope, but The Viper quickly recovers and attacks him from behind. Kalisto falls crotch first on the top rope, ouch! The Viper stands him up, pulling his legs through his head, and then delivers a cheeky kick to the face! Kalisto falls from the top rope, allowing The Viper to make the cover, but Kalisto gets his foot on the bottom rope! The Viper calls for the Springboard RKO, but somebody at climbs out from under the ring and pulls the ropes down, resulting in The Viper sliding right through them! Who did that! The camera cuts to a better angle, and oh my god, it's Randy Orton! Orton delivers the RKO on the floor, and then removes The Viper's mask, giving the referee no choice but to throw the match out. Orton leaves with The Viper's mask, as the BPW Universe boos. The Viper begins to climb back to his feet, as we all get a good look at his face. The Viper is Will Ospreay! Ospreay is pissed, cursing Orton's name, as he makes his way up the ramp.

Cathy Kelley is standing by with Roman Reigns. "Roman, tonight we're hearing from all three challengers in tonight's main event, and it's now time to hear from you. What makes you think you've got the edge in tonight's match?" "That ring is my yard, but I know I've got my work cut out for me tonight. I'm dealing with a sprained neck as a result of the beating Pentagon Jr. dealt me last week, and I know he's not finished with me, so Imma have to keep an eye out for him tonight. Having said all of that, I'm still the Big Dog, and overcoming the odds is what I do. You can belee dat."

Dalton Castle and Jessica are in the ring, each taking a seat on one of The Boys, as they wait to meet the King & Queen of Hearts, the perfect representation of true love, sent to NFA by The White Rabbit. Jessica is clearly getting impatient, so Dalton stands up from off of his Boy's back, and orders the Boy to fan Jessica, in an attempt to keep her cool. The sound of a cheesy 80s ballad hits the speakers, belting out the lyrics, "HERE'S TO THE GREATEST (GREATEST) LOVE I'VE EVER KNOWN!" as Maria and Mike Kanellis make their way out onto the stage. Maria has a microphone in hand, "This is what passes for true love these days? Ha, how embarrassing! You're looking at a real example of true love," Mike and Maria both hold onto the microphone as they finish the promo in unison, "In fact, we love each other almost as much as we love The White Rabbit!" The music hits the speakers again as The King & Queen of Hearts return to the back. Jessica throws a fit in the ring, frustrated with having wasted her time meeting them here tonight.

It's now time to crown a new #1 Contender to the NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship! Asuka, Bayley, Brandi Rhodes, Dakota Kai, Nikki Cross, and Taya, are all in the ring ready to compete in this battle royal. The bell rings and here we go! Brandi tries to jump Asuka from behind, but Asuka telegraphs the attack, side stepping Brandi and tossing her ass out of the ring. Dakota Kai has an impressive showing, unloading with stiff kicks on Nikki and Taya. The leader of Team Kick catches Asuka's attention, and the two women begin to exchange kicks with each other. Bayley scores an elimination on Nikki Cross, but she soon finds herself eliminated by Taya. Asuka and Dakota continue to exchange kicks, neither woman wanting to back down, but it doesn't matter, as Taya surprises them with a double clothesline, sending them both crashing to the floor. The Mayor of Slamtown, Johnny Mundo, makes his way to the ring to celebrate his fiancée's win. He hands her a microphone, so she can brag about her victory. "The NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship is going to go from being over that crazy cat lady's shoulder to being around this crazy white girl's waist when I take Natalya to Slamtown!" Taya drops the microphone like she's just cut the promo of her life or something and heads to the back with Mundo.

Cathy Kelley is standing by for the last time tonight, this time with Finn Bálor. "Finn, we've recently seen a change in allegiances and a change in attitude with you, do you think this gives you the advantage in tonight's match?" Bálor remains silent as Catrina walks into frame. "Finn Bálor's soul belongs to me," she says, "Tonight, Finn Bálor will serve his purpose." Catrina leads Finn Bálor away as we head down to ringside for our huge main event.

We get a video package recapping all 45 of The Man's victories over the past year. Tonight, if he can make it through this Fatal Four Way match with his streak intact, he'll go an entire year undefeated! The first challenger to make his way to the ring is THE Tarrynator, who makes his way out to a mixed reaction. Out next is Roman Reigns, who also receives a mixed reaction from the BPW Universe. Catrina leads Finn Bálor to the ring, with the BPW Universe once again dishing out a mixed reaction. Finally, here comes the currently undefeated NFA World Heavyweight Champion, The Man, and he too gets a mixed reaction! The BPW Universe really don't know who to cheer for in this one. We get the formal announcements and then the referee holds the NFA World Heavyweight Championship above his head, reminding everybody what this is all about. The bell rings and Roman Reigns immediately connects with a Superman Punch to the jaw of The Man! THE Tarrynator then follows up with Tarrydise! Finn Bálor goes up top, leaping off to drive his feet right into the chest of the defending champion with the Coup de Grâce! Reigns makes the cover, but Bálor breaks it up. Reigns and Bálor square up to each other, unintentionally allowing Tarry to sneak behind them and make the cover. 1 ... 2 ... No! Reigns and Bálor both break up the cover to save the match for themselves! The Man pulls himself back to his feet and sprints towards THE Tarrynator, taking him out with a huge clothesline! He then grabs Roman and drives him down with a Powerslam! The Man then turns his attention to Finn Bálor, setting up for a clothesline, but Bálor cuts him off with the Slingblade! The Man rolls out of the ring, joining Roman Reigns and THE Tarrynator on the outside. Finn Bálor hits the ropes and leaps over the top rope, crashing down on top of the other men! Catrina caresses Bálor's face, telling him, "Get it done, now." Finn rolls The Man back into the ring and delivers an inverted 1916! Bálor climbs the top rope and comes down hard with the Coup de Grâce! Catrina directs him back to the top rope, telling him to do it one more time. Finn climbs back to the top rope. He leaps off the top rope, but Roman Reigns slides into the ring and catches him in midair with a nasty Spear! The NFA Zero Limits Champion, Pentagon Jr., hops the barricade and sneaks into the ring behind Reigns. Roman turns around and eats a stiff Superkick! Pentagon rolls Reigns out of the ring and tosses him into the crowd, taking him out of the match. THE Tarrynator re-enters the ring and sets up for Tarrydise on The Man. Tarry hooks The Man for Tarrydise, but The Man counters by throwing THE Tarrynator onto his shoulders. The Man drives THE Tarrynator into the mat with the Death Valley Driver for the 1 ... 2 ... 3! He did it! The Man goes 46-0, and more importantly, he will officially go a year undefeated! The BPW Universe chant, "Same old shit!" at The Man retaining, clearly upset that their favourites didn't win tonight's match. Finn Bálor slides into the ring behind The Man, attacking him from behind after the match. Bálor lays The Man out with 1916, as Catrina signals to the entranceway. Mil Muertes makes his way out to a huge pop from the BPW Universe! Finn Bálor whips The Man into Mil Muertes, who catches the NFA World Heavyweight Championship with The Flatliner! Catrina grabs the NFA World Heavyweight Championship, draping it over Mil's shoulder, as Finn Bálor bows down to them both.

[Brandon]

Nnnn, The Iconic Duo making their way through the crowd to front row seats like Charlotte waving those tickets around on SmackDown last year, which was so fucking funny it made me a stan. I'm sure gays all over the IWC will be abusing hit GIFs of TID doing the same. And I loved the addition of 2Paws. If only there were a way for Natalya and Carmella to have a 2Paws/Ellsworth on a leash match.

Spud sitting in the corner on that stool. 💀 TID throwing popcorn at Striker and McGuinness asdfghjkl. Truly doing FNBF proud.



You'll be hearing from FNBF lawyers for putting hands on my Burke's talent like that.

NFA's tag division is the equivalent of WWE's Cruiserweight division, I see. 💀

lol OF COURSE you debut Will Ospreay the very morning I see a commotion on my Twitter timeline about him liking a tweet with a white wrestler using the n-word in it. You just can't catch a break, sis.

It probably wasn't a good idea to draw legal attention to yourself by assaulting FNBF talent the same week you're sending Roman out to wrestle with a sprained neck.



Asdfghjkl, Jessica being mad Mike and Maria wasted her time. I meant to ask after I thought about it, but was Jessica telling Cesaro she knew another ginger he could date a reference to Sheamus?

Whew, I miss battle royals. I don't even know who I'm rooting for between Natalya and Taya, but either sure beats Bayley.



Asdfghjkl the way I imagined Catrina delivering that line into the camera like Shang Tsung.

Omg, as the action was picking up in the main event I started reading it faster and faster and when you were in the ring with The Man after Bálor and Reigns had been taken out I could see the "1 ... 2 ... 3!" up ahead and I was like asdfghjkl he did NOT just book himself to beat The Man's streak. Whew. Here I thought Bálor was Catrina's new main squeeze, but now it looks like he's a willing cuck to Mil Muertes. 💀

[Tarry]

Oct 4, 2017 11:58:58 GMT -5 Brandon said:

I meant to ask after I thought about it, but was Jessica telling Cesaro she knew another ginger he could date a reference to Sheamus?

lol, yeah

[Tarry]

Oct 4, 2017 11:58:58 GMT -5 Brandon said:

lol OF COURSE you debut Will Ospreay the very morning I see a commotion on my Twitter timeline about him liking a tweet with a white wrestler using the n-word in it. You just can't catch a break, sis.

I can't stand Ospreay, but here I am bringing him onto my show to appeal to the handful of people who may like him (and to play off the ...dive thing) and he delays me with that? Nope, that's it. Angle cancelled. Forget any of this ever happened.

For real though, as shitty as it is of him to like a tweet from a white wrestler who used the n-word, I don't think he realised that he was supporting that kind of behaviour by doing so. Honestly, Will Ospreay is ridiculously stupid in real life, so he really wasn't thinking anything more than "Hahaha, funny Jamaican guy said whaaaaat?!" He's a twat.

[Tarry]

Oct 4, 2017 11:58:58 GMT -5 Brandon said:

NFA's tag division is the equivalent of WWE's Cruiserweight division, I see. 💀

Yet another thing they've copied from BPW 💀

[Burke]

I'm jealous that you've got Jojo as a ring announcer and I'm stuck with Lilian Garcia.

Natalya does realise that by bringing 2Pawz to TV with her she's going to be completely overshadowed, title or not??

That's what Alexa deserves for running her mouth and disrespecting my Women's champs.

Naomi and Becky will pay for that! Probably with a lawsuit. That's how we get even on Friday nights.

The Authors of Pain almost having Vietnam like flashbacks to last week.

I almost choked at Leakee.

Aww, Randy's return probably means less of his lawyer. He won't be forgotten though.

I can totally picture a Maria/Jessica feud.

Of course Brandi was the first eliminated.

Not those fans turning on The Man just because he's a winner. The hell they want him to do, lose on purpose?? And does the poor guy ever get a break. He just got through maybe his toughest match and he's already being attacked by the next monster he's going to have to try and slay.

[Brandon]

Oct 4, 2017 13:32:08 GMT -5 Burke said:

I'm jealous that you've got Jojo as a ring announcer and I'm stuck with Lilian Garcia.

You can’t even stylize her name correctly, shut up.

[Brandon]

When I find out that Burke traded Tyler Bate for Baron Corbin, who he doesn’t even use:




There will be another draft coming in January, because now I have to fix my roster he fucked up.

[Burke]

We kick off with a limousine arriving and out of it steps The Carter Family: Dixie Carter, Tiffany and EC3. The three of them are looking super smug after their hostile takeover of FNBF was revealed last week. After the FNF opening video plays they are already standing in the ring, receiving thunderous boos from the crowd. EC3 introduces the majority shareholder and new General Manager of FNBF, Dixie Carter! Dixie explains that while her past involvement in the wrestling business may not have been an unqualified success…gosh darn she’s sure she can pull it off this time! Btw, online rumours have been swirling that Dixie was only recently saved from financial ruin by a huge lottery win. She says she’s going to shake things up around here and her first “Dixie original” will happen next week when there will be a special 3 hour Friday the 13th edition of FNBF! “That sounds great, aunt Dixie!” EC3 takes the mic back and says that the Universal Championship belt was officially returned to Seth Rollins this week but not to worry, it won’t be long until the belt is around his waist again. He winks at aunt Dixie. He mocks Shane McMahon, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon and says while they were beating the hell out of each other at SummerMania he was already plotting to take over the show. He laughs at HHH and Stephanie for being the perfect red herrings after Shane was taken out and scolds the gullible fans for buying it. “None of you idiots thought it was me!” Tiffany interjects. “And speaking of gullible…my old “boss” Shane McMahon.” She cackles and says that she got sick of being his assistant and NEEDED to be in complete control again and well, EC3’s plan turned her on a little. She says that Shane trusted her so much that he was dumb enough to agree when she suggested she be named his power of attorney when he was incapacitated and unable to run FNBF. She says Batista is running around BPW headquarters as we speak doing everything he can to stop all this but legally there’s nothing he can do. She was legally able to sell Shane’s shares to Dixie once Shane signed that document. She says Shane was a pathetic sight lying in that hospital bed and she only continued visiting him until the deal was 100% done. “We don’t need you anymore…which is good because well, you’re not capable of doing anything anymore.” She motions pushing a wheelchair off a cliff and the fans boo. Whew, that’s enough exposition for one segment. Tiffany and EC3 show off their engagement rings and promise they’ll have the most glorious and expensive wedding ever. He lifts her up in the air and they make out as the crowd throws garbage in the ring and an oblivious Dixie just stands and claps.

He’s ready to brush your mouth like Colgate. It’s the John Cena Television Championship open challenge! Who will step up this week? The answer is…Cedric Alexander. The cruiserweight star has apparently been nursing some injuries in recent months but he’s chosen a huge spotlight for his return match. They shake hands before the bell rings. The clash of styles here turns this one into a thrilling match that has the crowd on the edge of their seats. Cedric wows the crowd with his high-flying antics, including a split-legged moonsault and a huge somersault plancha. Cena battles back with a springboard stunner and a tornado DDT. He goes for the STF but Cedric rolls out and nails The Champ with a roundhouse kick then drops him with a brainbuster. 1…2…Cena kicks out! Cedric goes for the Lumbar Check but Cena pushes him off then catches him with a huge lariat that almost takes his head off. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Cedric slips out and hits an enzuigiri to the back of the head. He goes through the ropes and aims for a springboard clothesline but Cena catches him in the air! He hoists him onto his shoulders and hits the AA! 1…2…3. The Champ retains. They shake hands again after the match and both men are given a standing ovation. Byron Saxton informs us that this was Cena’s 10th week in a row successfully defending his Television title and wonders who can possibly take it from him.

Breezango are in their “office” backstage. Up on the wall is the status of all their ongoing cases. Kevin Owens barges in. “Huh, I thought this was catering.” Breezango literally jump back in disgust. “Ugh, what are you wearing.” KO’s scruffy attire is seriously offending them. Owens isn’t in the mood though. When is he? He blindsides Tyler and throws him into Fandango and they go flying over a desk. “Now somebody tell me where the hell catering is!” KO storms out as Breezango shout for him to return so they can write him his ticket.

Tiffany and EC3 are back out, without aunt Dixie this time. Tiffany has a mic but before she can even say a word…it’s boss time! Sasha Banks is back after her one week suspension. Tiffany is furious at the interruption. Sasha gets in the ring and completely ignores EC3. It’s Tiffany she’s here to address. She calls Tiffany a coward for suspending her and says she always knew that she was a power hungry ho and that while recent developments may have shocked a lot of people, they didn’t shock her. She says she’s done playing her games. Either give me my one-on-one Women’s title match or fire me already. She warns Tiffany though that she’ll show up on NFA next week and help them crush her show to the point that aunt Dixie will be selling her shares on eBay for pennies. Tiffany is not amused. “Are you threatening me? Do you know who I am??” Sasha gets in Tiffany’s face but EC3 steps forward with a silent warning. Tiffany looks like she’s actually considering firing Sasha but after mulling it over she thinks better of it. “I’m not going to give you a Women’s title match…but I’ll give you the chance to earn one tonight.” She says Charlotte is first in line for another title shot right now but why not keep her on her toes. She books Sasha vs. Charlotte for later tonight and the winner will receive a Women’s title match next week. “There, I think I’m being very reasonable here. Consider this a fresh start. There’s no reason we can’t work together like professionals, is there?” Sasha says Tiffany is just sucking up to her because she’s scared of her joining NFA. “But I will beat Charlotte tonight and I will take back my championship next week…and you can bank on that, bitch.” Sasha puts her shades on and leaves as Tiffany grimaces in anger. As Tiffany and EC3 are leaving halfway up the ramp the titantron shows a commotion going on in the parking lot. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon have just stepped out of a limousine! Security are warning them to turn back around and exit the building. HHH punches one of them and the others back off like cowards. EC3 and Tiffany are screaming for more security to get out there as HHH and Stephanie look like they’re heading to the ring! They eventually appear on the stage and the crowd pop. EC3 and Tiffany don’t though as they scurry away through the crowd. HHH grabs a mic and tells EC3 to get his ass back here but the mics have suddenly been switched off and most of the arena can’t hear. More security run down to ringside. HHH dares them to do something. He flips over the ring steps and the announce table and says he’s going to destroy everything until EC3 gets back out there. He is eventually tackled by even more security though. HHH and Stephanie are escorted out of the ring and then out of the building. The Announcers go to show a replay of what just transpired but it cuts out quickly and apparently they've been ordered not to talk about this incident again tonight.

A video package plays highlighting the recent shenanigans involving Seth Rollins and Jason. It is announced that they will have a rematch for the Universal title next week. Hopefully the match actually has a winner this time. We cut to the Universal champ Seth Rollins backstage when he is approached by Jason. Jason says they fought so hard (hehe) at Massacre on 69th Street and Seth better be ready to fight even harder next week, because he will be. Seth stands up and raises his title in Jason’s face. “I’m more ready than you could ever imagine.”

Father William is once again in action and his opponent tonight is Brandon. Before the match begins he takes a mic and says Sister Thea isn’t his only loyal follower. Someone else has joined the good fight. “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing…Sister Taryn!” Hold up, that’s the former Taryn Terrell! She has quite the BPW history. Brandon is confused as Sister Taryn enters the ring in her hot nun outfit. “Taryn girl, what happened to you?” Taryn smiles and is handed the mic by Father William. She explains that she has been sitting at home listening to the good father and loves the message he has been spreading and wanted to finally take action so here she is. Father William looks lovingly at Sister Taryn and Sister Thea looks a little jealous. Anyway, Brandon may well be pleased to have a match to focus on and get his mind off his troubles with his dad, at least for a bit. Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson are out with Brandon. Dash gives him a kiss on the cheek before the match. Father William and the sisters are shocked. He suggests that Brandon would be happier with a beautiful woman like Sister Thea by his side. Sister Thea finally perks up a little. Brandon bursts out laughing and grabs a mic. “Survey time! Should I be with THIS little troll?” The crowd boos. “Or should I be with this THIS?” Brandon tells Dash to pose for the fans which he does to huge cheers. Father William and Sister Thea are pissed. They begin preaching to the crowd but as they do Brandon licks his palms and smacks Father William on the ass! The poor father looks violated as the match gets underway. With The Revival and Sisters Thea and Taryn cheering on from their respective corners Brandon and Father William go back and forth until Laurel Van Ness’ music hits. The distraction causes Brandon to lose his focus. The good father capitalises by kicking Brandon in the ribs then hitting the Holy Slaughter, which gets the 3 count. William, Taryn and Thea celebrate as they pass Laurel on the ramp, blessing her on the way. Dash helps Brandon in the ring as Laurel begins speaking. She says she has great news to share. Her marriage to the great Billy Gunn will happen in 2 weeks…live on FNBF! Brandon takes the news about as well as you’d expect as Dash helps him to the back.

Dixie Carter appears to be a little lost backstage. Apparently she’s looking for her office but can’t find it. She is approached by Dolph Ziggler. He introduces himself. “Hi, I’m Dolph Ziggler.” He shakes her hand and asks for an opportunity. He says he’s been overlooked for too long and hopes that under this new regime he will be given a fair shake. “Sure will, Darren.” “Dolph…the name’s Dolph…Dolph Ziggler.” “Of course it is sweetie.” Dixie stumbles away opening doors, trying to figure out which one is her office.

It’s women’s tag action next as Nia Jax and Dana Brooke team up against Emma and Mandy Rose. Emma is still claiming to be injured following the beatings she took from Dana and Nia at Massacre on 69th Street and last week on FNBF, respectively. She refuses to tag in and makes Mandy do all the work. Mandy eventually snaps though and nails her with a right hand. Mandy, Nia and Dana all surround Emma, who backs off begging for her life. Mandy kicks her in the gut and hits a double underhook facebuster. Dana then drops her with a powerbomb. Finally, Nia plants her with a Samoan drop for the 123. Ouch. Poor Emma.

It’s time for another edition of the most must-see show on television, Miz TV! The Miz and Maryse (glowing with a new shoulder length haircut) say that we may have heard the rumours and it’s true. “We’re pregnant!” Miz kisses Maryse’s stomach and starts speaking baby talk to it. They celebrate for a while longer before remembering that they have a show to do. Miz says he has a huge surprise guest tonight and it’s…Nikki Bella! The former FNBF Women’s Champion gets a big pop and looks happy be back on the show. Maryse and Nikki stare daggers at each other. Nikki does thank them for inviting her onto the show though and says it was great to see some old friends tonight and watch her fiancé John Cena have an amazing match earlier. Miz says okay, let’s get down to business. He says she’s starring on Dancing with the Stars right now and has been impressing the judges. “Of course, I know a thing or two about starring on reality shows myself…but this isn’t about me.” Nikki tries to talk about the show but Miz keeps interrupting her and talking about his own reality show experiences. Eventually Nikki has enough and tells Miz to shut up for a minute. Maryse takes offence. “How dare you talk to my husband like that. Don’t be mad at him because he did what your fiancé can’t and make a baby.” The crowd oohs. Nikki goes to get in Maryse’s face but Miz steps in front of her. Miz helps Maryse out the ring and they laugh all the way to the back. Nikki eventually plays to the crowd a little before leaving.

McKenzie Mitchell is standing by with Y2J himself, Chris Jericho! He has a huge announcement for us. Fozzy will be performing live on FNBF next week! Oh my God! I know you all can’t wait.

It’s main event time and the winner of this will face The Iconic Duo next week for the Women’s Championship. TID are out first and join the commentary team, which Corey Graves loves. They talk about their unscheduled appearance on NFA last week and say that after witnessing her up-close and in-person, sadly Alexa Bliss just isn't iconic. Sasha Banks is out next and then she’s followed by Charlotte. Byron Saxton asks Billie and Peyton who they’d rather face but they brush the question off. Corey says it’s okay, Byron’s used to being ignored by women. Charlotte and Sasha put on a hell of a match with both fighting tooth or nail to get that title opportunity next week. Both women end up on the mat exhausted on the mat at around the 15 minute mark. As they struggle back to their feet they are attacked by The Iconic Duo! They have left the announce table and lay out both of their potential challengers. The ref calls for the bell to ring and ends the match. TID think they’ve pulled off their masterplan but they should know how this goes. Dixie Carter comes out. She says she has another Dixie original for next week! The Iconic Duo will face Charlotte and Sasha in a tag-team match…with the Women’s title on the line! She says if Sasha and Charlotte win the match then whichever one of them gets the pin or submission will be the new Women’s Champion. The Iconic Duo throw a temper tantrum in the ring at the thought of that stipulation.

I hope you weren’t expecting them to keep a low profile because Tiffany and EC3 are back out AGAIN. Tiffany takes the mic and explains why. “I almost forgot…there’s still some business that needs to be taken care of tonight.” She turns to the announce table. “Corey Graves, could you please join us in the ring? Thank you.” Corey is shocked but gets up and enters the ring. Tiffany says she knows that Corey was the one who was feeding Batista information and trying to play them off against each other. Littlefinger ass ho. She says she warned him a month ago to stop digging but his dumbass just wouldn’t listen. “You thought Batista would protect you, huh? And little old Tiffany would get fired?? But here we are. I’m in control and you’re just a sad, worthless little man who better get DOWN ON YOUR KNEES and beg to keep your job.” Corey tries to reason with her but she’s having none of it. EC3 trips him and makes him fall to his knees. “Now say “I’m sorry, Tiffany.”” Corey eventually says sorry, gets up and dusts himself off. “Now that wasn’t so difficult, was it? Unfortunately, it’s not enough.” Tiffany clicks her fingers and EC3 lays Corey out with the One Percenter. She stands over Corey. “With the power vested in me by aunt Dixie…YOU’RE FIRED!” Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips get up from the announce table like they’re gonna do shit but EC3 warns them to sit back down. EC3 and Tiffany have security carry Corey out as they pose in the ring to thunderous boos.

Before we go off the air we get a hype video for next week’s 3 hour Friday the 13th special episode of FNBF featuring Seth Rollins vs. Jason for the Universal title, The Iconic Duo vs. Charlotte & Sasha Banks for the Women’s title, a special live performance by Fozzy and some huge surprises to be announced! The video has gone black and looks like it has ended until a knife slashes across the screen! A creepy old ladies voice can be heard. “Get them, Jason. Get them all.” NEXT WEEK appears on the screen written in blood. Oh my, what could that mean?

[Brandon]

I feel like the Carter family will already be one of the most ICONIC eras of BPW, like the McMahon-Helmsley faction of the early 2000's.

Oct 6, 2017 13:21:51 GMT -5 Burke said:

Dixie explains that while her past involvement in the wrestling business may not have been an unqualified success... gosh darn she's sure she can pull it off this time!

🤣💀

I love how we always use the simplest explinations for the most ambitious storylines lol. Dixie winning the lottery after previously establishing that the Carter family was broke, the BPW roster being released from prison because they were framed, lol. EC3 and Tiffany's exposition was so perfectly written and seamless. And their romance being rekindled because Tiffany was turned on by his scheme to take over the company was sooo Tiffany. 💀 To add insult to injury (literally), they probably consummated the relationship right there on Shane's desk. ⚰️ And whenever Burke goes into legal jargin that actually makes sense it always makes me think of that segment from 2005 I think where Maria went into this complicated explination at Bischoff's trial and everyone was surprised.

Tiffany leaving the hospital for the last time after Shane signed those documents:



Her gesturing pushing his wheelchair over a cliff. 🤣 This is seriously one of my favorite things EVER, already. I'm so glad EC3 and Tiffany back together, because they compliment each other so well, and having Dixie in power just takes things up another notch so we're not just backtracking to when they were together last year. I wonder if she got a new, even bigger engagement ring now that they have money again? 👀

Oct 6, 2017 13:21:51 GMT -5 Burke said:

He’s ready to brush your mouth like Colgate. It’s the John Cena Television Championship open challenge!

You're going to keep his reign going until you run out of things to say like this, which wont be anytime soon, huh? 💀

Of course you wrote KO looking for food.

Oct 6, 2017 13:21:51 GMT -5 Burke said:

“But I will beat Charlotte tonight and I will take back my championship next week…and you can bank on that, bitch.” Sasha puts her shades on and leaves as Tiffany grimaces in anger.

You write Sasha better than the Raw writers. 💀 lol I know it's all just for storyline purposes, but why would EC3 and Tiffany be so afraid of Triple H and Stephanie? She kicked both their asses at SummerMania.

Patiently waiting for Seth's next challenger to arrise so you can quit stalling by having him feud with his manager/lover.

Oct 6, 2017 13:21:51 GMT -5 Burke said:

Brandon is confused as Sister Taryn enters the ring in her hot nun outfit. "Taryn girl, what happened to you?"

Didn't I say I was going to require final approval of all my dialogue? I wasn't joking and this wouldn't have made it past the editing room. You don't talk like Father Burke, Tarry doesn't talk like King Tarry, and Astro doesn't talk like his ho ass character, so can y'all please stop writing me say things I jokingly say on here to be ironic? If 2003 Torrie Wilson wouldn't say it or do it, don't fucking book me to say it or do it.



Father Burke and the sisters blessing Laurel on their way up the ramp. 💀 Me opening my formal wedding invitation next week:



Burke: *Pushes Emma when I've long been viewing her as a jobber.*
BUrke: *Squashes Emma after I've watched the Asuka collection on the WWE Network and have a renewed interest in her.*

I've been thinking recently about how I miss Neck's presence, so I was pleasantly surprised to see her turn up tonight, even if it was just to get read to her face. Who knows? Maybe someday she'll find her way back to FNBF in a non-wrestling capactiy?

You're literally the only one of us who would book a Fozzy concert. 💀

Burke writing better women's matches than WWE is currently putting on as of late. 💀 Whew that Women's Revolution came and went. Not on Friday nights, however.



Even though they only debuted a handful of months ago, TID already feel so established in BPW, and opportunities like the title being on the line in this tag match next week are exactly why I was excited for them to be co-women's champions, because it's unique. And Sasha and Charlotte still have their BFF history in BPW, which makes it even better, wondering if they'll be able to work together like the old days, or if greed will get in the way. Honestly, this deserved to be a PPV match over that twin magic mess you pulled, but at least it's a BIG step up from that. 💀

Tiffany and EC3 coming out THREE times in one two-hour show. Meanwhile, KO isn't even booked. The IWC fans would be IRATE. "Littlefinger ass ho." 💀 It's so true. The show opened with EC3 and Tiffany cementing their regime, and it ended with them showing everyone just how evil they're gonna be. Poor Tom and Byron.

Next week is going to be messy, but iconic. 💀

[Tarry]

How did Dixie manage to buy shares in FNBF? Did she actually buy shares in BPW and she's just too dense to realise that FNBF isn't the only brand the company produces? I'm so mad at Batista and Shane for letting this happen, they're so stupid. I love The Carter Family already though.

Wow, I can't believe you had John Cena have a competitive match with Cedric Alexander. He's squashed bigger stars, lol. 

Kevin Owens looking for catering 💀

Sasha threatening to show up on NFA without realising that she'd be joining Bayley as the show's jobbers 💀 

I thought we'd seen the last of Triple H and Stephanie, I guess not though, lol. You know people on twitter would be debating whether or not that segment was scripted.

It's about time you listened to B and brought in Taryn. Oh my god, the thought of Father William blessing Laurel as he passed her is hilarious. I'm honestly surprised that this will be only the second wedding of the brand split, there's been so much love in there air that there surely should have been more, lol

Who listens to Fozzy in 2017 though?

Dixie Carter's booking is so messy, but that's what makes it great. The tag match for the FNBF Women's Championship is definitely going to make an interesting watch.

Holy shit! It's fitting that you name dropped Game of Thrones during that final segment, because just like a death on that show, Corey's firing came out of nowhere!

[Tarry]

Matt Striker and Nigel McGuinness welcome us once again to NFA! To kick off tonight's show, we're shown exclusive footage of events that took place after last week's show went off the air. Catrina leads Mil Muertes and Finn Bálor to the back, leaving The Man laid out in the centre of the ring. Shortly afterwards, men in white coats arrive at ringside, dragging THE Tarrynator away. While this is going on, Roman Reigns and the NFA Zero Limits Champion, Pentagon Jr., continue to brawl amongst the BPW Universe. Matt Striker promises that we will have an update on all three of these developments at some point tonight. Wait, we have an update on Roman Reigns and Pentagon Jr. right now! Quick, cut to the camera in the back!

We cut to Roman Reigns and the NFA Zero Limits Champion, Pentagon Jr., brawling in the backstage area. Road agents and referees quickly arrive on the scene, separating the two men. They break away, briefly continuing the brawl, until NFA roster members show up to help keep them separated. The General Manager of NFA, Summer Rae, storms out of her office and makes her way down the the hall, clearly concerned for the agents, referees, and wrestlers who have been caught up in this scuffle. "First you brawl amongst the BPW Universe, putting paying fans in harms way. Then you fight out here in the corridor, forcing road agents, referees, and your peers to get involved, which could have jeopardised their own well being. So I can't justify booking you in the match that I had originally planned," she says, reading them the riot act, "What's going to happen instead, is next week, you two will report to Fat Camp, where you will find an empty arena. In that empty arena, you will have the freedom to do whatever you like to one another. So good to you both, because that empty arena match will be for the NFA Zero Limits Championship!" Summer Rae walks back to her office, as Roman and Pentagon Jr. continue to try and get their hands on each other.

Will Ospreay is in the ring, as he gets set to make his official in-ring debut here on NFA. His opponent is TJP, a man who has yet to make a real impact since joining NFA, could tonight be his time to shine? The two men kick off the match by exchanging a series of flashy moves, popping the BPW Universe. Ospreay whips TJP into the corner, but TJP leaps onto the second rope. Will Ospreay seems to have predicted the counter, as he strikes TJP in the lower back as soon as he lands. Ospreay pulls TJP's head through his legs and delivers the Cheeky Nandos Kick! Ospreay makes the cover, but TJP kicks out! Will Ospreay sets up for the Essex Destroyer, but TJP telegraphs it and counters with a Superkick! TJP attempts the Detonation Kick, but Ospreay fights out. Ospreay hits the ropes and springboards off the second rope, connecting with the OsCutter on the rebound! 1 ... 2 ... 3! Will Ospreay grabs a microphone from ringside, "Randy Orton, if you're here tonight, get out here and face me right now!" Will Ospreay waits for Orton's arrival, but The Apex Predator is nowhere to be found.

We follow The Dashing Ones as they enter a locker room. Inside the locker room is the entire NFA Tag Team Division, apparently engaging in a meeting being held by the NFA Tag Team Champions, Enzo Amore & Kane. "Good, now that everybody is here, how you doin'?" Enzo says, officially beginning the meeting, "As you are all well aware, we have all been the target of those big ugly bastards, The Authors of Pain, and it's time that we put an end to them for good." "The Authors of Pain are truly like any team we've seen before," Xavier Woods continues, "And if we as a division want to survive, we all need to band together and send them back down the rabbit hole that they crawled out of." "With all due respect ... which is none," Cody Rhodes interjects, "The only reason The New Day and Enzo Amore & Kane want The Authors of Pain gone, is so you can hold onto your positions here in the tag team division." "That's right," Jimmy Uso says, agreeing with Rhodes, "With The Authors of Pain gone, you boys get to continue to hog the spotlight, and more importantly, Enzo & Kane remain NFA Tag Team Champions." "It's really not like that at all," Kofi Kingston replies, "With them gone, there will be more opportunties for all of us!" "Bullshit!" Jace-Hero shouts out, reverting back to the brash attitude he used to display with pride, "I was the General Manager of this show, and I know better than anyone that there are no opportunities in this division. If anything, The Authors of Pain's arrival has put the spotlight on you all, and their continued presence is the best thing for this division going forward." "You need to shut your mouth before I burn your lips off and make it so that you don't have a mouth to shut anymore," Kane says, sneering at Jace-Hero, "This is my proposal. Any team that can take out The Authors of Pain will receive a NFA Tag Team Championship match whenever they want it, and that's a promise!" The NFA Tag Team Division gets fired up, but the passionate display quickly comes to an end as a menacing laugh fills the room as Paul London seemingly appears out of nowhere, "I have a better idea," he says, "I've come directly from the General Manager's office, and she loved the idea I'm about to present to you all. You will all get your chance to take out The Authors of Pain, but at the same time, they'll get their chance to take out all of you. At the next BPW Network event, Enzo Amore & Kane will defend their NFA Tag Team Championships against the entire division in a Battle Royal!" Smoke fills the room as Paul London disappears, while laughing maniacly. Rockstar Spud enters the room, "Right, I've got some news from Madam Summer!" "We know!" the entire division shout back at him, frightening the life out of the little man.

Dalton Castle struts down the ramp with Jessica and The Boys by his side as usual. His opponent is Big Cass, who is looking to redeem himself after his back-to-back losses to the NFA World Heavyweight Champion. The bell rings and Big Cass immediately goes for the Big Boot! Castle ducks out of the way, grabbing hold of Cass, rolling him up for the quick win! Jessica slides into the ring and plants a kiss on Dalton, congratulating him for his victory. The Boys fan Castle with peacock feathers, although he didn't even break a sweat, so it's clearly for show. The celebration is interrupted, however, by the sound of my new favourite entrance music. "HERE'S TO THE GREATEST (GREATEST) LOVE I'VE EVER KNOWN!" Mike & Maria Kanellis make their way out onto the stage to boos. "Jessica, there's something you need to know about true love," Maria says, "True love is not sexually transmitted, so you can stop spreading your legs for every guy who looks your way, because you'll never find true love doing that." Jessica tries to exit the ring to attack Maria, but Dalton Castle & The Boys restrain her. "Our love is the truest, purest love, and we have The White Rabbit to thank for that," Mike says, staring into his wife's eyes. The King & Queen of Hearts exchange a passionate kiss, filled with nothing but true love, before returning to the back as their music plays over the speakers once again. Jessica looks ready to kill Maria.

We cut to Lynch Hill Asylum, where THE Tarrynator was brought at the end of last week's show. We see THE Tarrynator heavily sedated in a padded cell, wearing a straight jacket for good measure. "What's wrong with him?" an orderly asks, turning to the doctor for answers. "He recently suffered a catastrophic injury to the brain, and ever since he's believed it's the year 2012," the (decrepit!) clinical psychiatrist replies, "But not to worry, the lady paying for his treatment has given us the go ahead to begin our new brand of shock treatment therapy, so he'll be right as rain by this time next week when we deliver him to her live on NFA!" The camera zooms in on THE Tarrynator showing no sign of life in his eyes.

Naomi is backstage when Becky Lynch approaches her. Before Becky can utter a single syllable, Alexa Bliss storms up to them both, "Hey, what the hell was that last week?" she demands to know, "You should have left The (so-called) Iconic Duo to me!" "Excuse me, but weren't you knocked out on the trainer's room table while we were handling business?" Becky replies, laughing at Alexa. "Girl, what were you even doing provoking them in the first place?" Naomi says, scratching her head. "It's not my fault that I'm iconic," Alexa replies, "I was the original NFA post-brand split poster girl, it doesn't get more iconic than that." "And I replaced you as poster girl, making me more iconic than you," Naomi replies. "Yeah, and Ronda Rousey replaced you, so using Alexa's logic that being poster girl is the same as being iconic, then that makes Ronda more iconic than both of you," Becky states, "But not for long, because I will dethrone her as NFA Women's Champion and I'll be the next NFA poster girl. In the meantime though, the three of us should have each other's backs, because FNBF will retaliate, I guarantee it."

Bayley is in the ring, ready for action. Her opponent is the NFA Women's Intercontinental Champion, Natalya, who once again makes her way to the ring with 2Pawz. She places 2Pawz on his podium, and then enters the ring, ready to throw down with Bayley. The bell rings and this non-title match gets underway. Natalya takes Bayley down with her technical prowess, stretching her out in a way that's reminiscent of her grandfather, Stu Hart. Nattie goes for the Sharpshooter early, but Bayley fights out of it. Natalya rushes towards Bayley, but Bayley leaps up and applies a Guillotine Choke out of nowhere! Natalya might be in trouble here! Nattie is brought down to her knees, but she uses the position to her advantage, shifting her weight to pin Bayley's shoulders to the mat. Bayley releases the hold as quickly as possible, saving the match for herself. The two women get back to their feet, beginning to exchange shots that get harder and harder. Natalya hits Bayley with a forearm, dropping her into a seated position. Natalya runs the ropes, using Bayley's back and neck as a bridge, connecting with a seated dropkick on the rebound. Natalya calls for the Powerslam, but Johnny Mundo comes running down the ramp. The Mayor of Slamtown slides into the ring, staring down Natalya, and then surprises everyone by delivering a stiff kick to the ribs of Bayley! The referee calls for the bell, disqualifying Natalya. Natalya is furious, but before she can lay a finger on Mundo, Taya sneaks behind her and drops her with the NFA Women's Intercontinental Championship belt! Johnny Mundo grabs hold of 2Pawz, bringing him into the ring, as Taya applies the Sharpshooter to Natalya. Natalya cries out for 2Pawz, as 2Pawz cries out for her. Oh, the humanity! Taya and Johnny Mundo laugh as they continue to force 2Pawz to watch his momma in pain. This is sickening! Cut to commercial!

We get a video package highlighting all 46 victories of The Man's year long winning streak. The NFA World Heavyweight Champion, The Man, is in the ring with a medal around his neck, a prize for having made it a year undefeated. The Man prepares to give a speech, but he's unable to, as Catrina makes her way out with Mil Muertes and Finn Bálor by her side. "You have something Mil Muertes wants," she says, pointing at the NFA World Heavyweight Championship, "And what Mil Muertes wants, Mil Muertes gets." She sends Finn Bálor into the ring, but The Man is ready, dropping Bálor with a clothesline! The Man grabs hold of Finn, but Mil Muertes slides in behind, dropping The Man with a clubbing blow. Mil Muertes drags The Man back to his feet and drops him with The Flatliner! Catrina tells Finn Bálor to climb up onto the top rope. He leaps off onto The Man, driving his feet into his chest with the Coup de Grâce! The Man somehow climbs back to his feet, but Mil Muertes immediately drops him again with The Reaper's Trident! Mil Muertes snatches the medal from around The Man's neck, launching it into the BPW Universe. Catrina delivers the Lick of Death as her Procession stands tall for the second week in a row.

We cut to Summer Rae's office where she's on the phone, "You're seeing this, right? Don't tell me that's not a fitting match for the Friday the 13th edition of FNBF. Yes, I know they're not FNBF stars, but you want people to actually tune in this Friday, right? I thought so. What do I get out of this? A cut of the ticket sales and merchandise profits, of course. That's great, Batista! Thank you so much for hearing me out!" Summer Rae summons Rockstar Spud to take notes, "Spud, this Friday night, The Man will defend his NFA World Heavyweight Championship for the first time ever in a FNBF ring against Mil Muertes! Please draw up the contract immediately." "That's a genius idea, Madam Summer! I'll get right on it!" Rockstar Spud scurries off to prepare the contract as Summer leans back in her chair, proud with her latest business decision.