So You Think You Got What It Takes – A Challenge To MC

[Burke]

You can’t just change your name and think that’s enough. You’ve got to earn your stripes around here.

I have devised a competition to see if you truly are what you say you are. You will face 3 rounds, each more challenging than the next. Each round will have 5 questions. If you earn 10 or more points out of a possible 15 by the end you will be officially welcomed to the CeNation. If you fail you’re out and have to change your name back. If you don’t complete a round within an hour you forfeit. If you look up the answers online (um, I’m psychic obviously and will know if you have) you forfeit. Now, if you want some…

Round 1: General Cena Knowledge

1. What are John Cena’s middle names?

2. Yes or no, would you ever catch Cena in the next mans sweater?

3. Cena has (had?) a recurring role in which Nickelodeon show?

4. After being kicked out of the Marines, what was Cena’s characters occupation in The Marine?

5. Cena’s heralded debut album, “You Can’t See Me”, was released in which year?

EDIT: Hmm, your hour is almost up. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and extend the deadline. It's what Cena would do. If you answer by tomorrow I'll then post round 2. And please, don't take this lightly. Think before you answer. Much is at stake here.

[Brandon]

[Burke]

Nov 29, 2014 21:12:28 GMT -5 Brandon said:

And don't you be giving her answers either. I know what you're like.

[Astrozombie]

Round 1: General Cena Knowledge

1. What are John Cena’s middle names?

2. Yes or no, would you ever catch Cena in the next mans sweater?

3. Cena has (had?) a recurring role in which Nickelodeon show?

4. After being kicked out of the Marines, what was Cena’s characters occupation in The Marine?

5. Cena’s heralded debut album, “You Can’t See Me”, was released in which year?

1. Felix Anthony

2. Never, as he states in his hit single 'The Time is Now'

3. Cena has never had a recurring role on any Nickelodeon shows, however he was in Nickelodeon's critically acclaimed 'Fred' trilogy, a made for tv movie by Nickelodeon. Bonus: he's made one off appearances on Hannah Montana and True Jackson VP. Learn your Cenalogy.

4. Security guard

5. 2005

[Mutant Couch]

1. What are John Cena’s middle names? Kal-El

2. Yes or no, would you ever catch Cena in the next mans sweater? I'm sure he has worn Randy's sweater after a hot night of steamy barebacking.

3. Cena has (had?) a recurring role in which Nickelodeon show? iCena

4. After being kicked out of the Marines, what was Cena’s characters occupation in The Marine? Gigolo

5. Cena’s heralded debut album, “You Can’t See Me”, was released in which year? Trick question. He's actually saving that album for a posthumous release. The album you lesser Cena fans got to listen to was actually his brother Frank pretending to be him while rapping lyrics that are far inferior to the actual tracks.

Nice try.

[Brandon]

I mean it really doesn't matter what y'all think y'all know because I would suck the man's **** and that makes me the biggest fan of us all.

[Burke]

I was going to change my name to The OG Cena Fan but my head is spinning with all these Cena avatars. I already keep thinking I'm looking at my own posts.

Now, on to the results. The Better Cena Fan disappoints with a paltry half a point out of a possible five (the Randy Orton answer cannot be fully verified at this time). However, in an unexpected turn of events, a new challenger emerges in the form of The BEST Cena Fan with an astounding maximum total of five points out of five. The bell hasn't rang for round 2 yet but this is already looking like the biggest squash match since Cena/Lesnar at SummerSlam.

[Astrozombie]

Nov 30, 2014 5:50:41 GMT -5 Burke said:

I already keep thinking I'm looking at my own posts.

I'm having this issue too, but you know like I'm looking at your posts not mine. It's like some identity crisis.

[Burke]

I thought Astro was MC the first time I read that last post. This is getting too confusing.

Anyway, onto the next one...

Round 2: In the Ring with The Champ

1. Who was Cena’s first PPV opponent?

2. Who overheard him freestyling on the tour bus and then encouraged him to run with the rap gimmick?

3. How many days did Cena hold the WWE Championship for in 2006/2007 before an unfortunate injury forced him to vacate his title?

4. We know “The Champ” is a record breaking 12 time WWE Champion, but how many times did he hold the World Heavyweight Championship?

5. How many WrestleMania main events has Cena wrestled in? Only the last match on the card is classified as a main event here.

[Astrozombie]

Round 2: In the Ring with The Champ

1. Who was Cena’s first PPV opponent?

2. Who overheard him freestyling on the tour bus and then encouraged him to run with the rap gimmick?

3. How many days did Cena hold the WWE Championship for in 2006/2007 before an unfortunate injury forced him to vacate his title?

4. We know “The Champ” is a record breaking 12 time WWE Champion, but how many times did he hold the World Heavyweight Championship?

5. How many WrestleMania main events has Cena wrestled in? Only the last match on the card is classified as a main event here.

I don't wanna play this game anymore. It's no fun when it takes longer than 5 seconds to get the answer off his wikipedia page

[Mutant Couch]

1. Who was Cena’s first PPV opponent? Probably that weird hippie family that were anti-vaccines and lived down the street from him growing up. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pneumococcal_polysaccharide_vaccine

2. Who overheard him freestyling on the tour bus and then encouraged him to run with the rap gimmick? Macho Man Randy Savage. They were set to record a diss album against Hulk Hogan together, but it ended up falling through. True fact.

3. How many days did Cena hold the WWE Championship for in 2006/2007 before an unfortunate injury forced him to vacate his title? All of them. He has a nightly ritual that involves masturbating onto the championship and then smearing it in. B sometimes helps him. So, there goes your proof.

4. We know “The Champ” is a record breaking 12 time WWE Champion, but how many times did he hold the World Heavyweight Championship? 666 when he realized he had picked up the title the 665th time he decided that in tribute to The Beast he'd only pick it up once more. He's unaware that The Beast isn't actually just a nickname for Randy Orton's penis.

5. How many WrestleMania main events has Cena wrestled in? Only the last match on the card is classified as a main event here. Nobody cares.

[Burke]

And with this, mercifully, it's over.

Final Round: Fill in the Missing Cena Lyrics

1. (The Time Is Now)
If they hate, let 'em hate, I drop ya whole clan
___ __ ___ ____, for the three second tan

2. (Summer Flings)
That's when she said, she live right down the street
She love white chocolate, ____ _ ___ _________ _____

3. (All Day)
We all day fam, hotter than a sauna
__ ___ ____ ________, but I'm Common on The Corner

4. (Breaks)
That's just the way it goes, don't take it to heart B
I say you're ____ _ ______, cause my Biz is the Markie (marquee)

5. (Basic Thuganomics)
The war rhymer, turning legends to old-timers
My incisors like a _____, biting through your one-liners

[Mutant Couch]

I feel bad that you actually put effort into this.


1. (The Time Is Now)
If they hate, let 'em hate, I drop ya whole clan
Burke'll drop his pants, for the three second tan

2. (Summer Flings)
That's when she said, she live right down the street
She love white chocolate, not as much as Burke

3. (All Day)
We all day fam, hotter than a sauna
Burke sucks good dick, but I'm Common on The Corner

4. (Breaks)
That's just the way it goes, don't take it to heart B
I say you're better than Burke, cause my Biz is the Markie (marquee)

5. (Basic Thuganomics)
The war rhymer, turning legends to old-timers
My incisors like a Sharknado, biting through your one-liners

[Deleted]

I don't know what the hell happened here while I was gone, but I just wanted to point out that with B's current avi, it looks like Kimberly is killing that poor little lamb.

[Mutant Couch]

This is the most shameful thing I've ever been part of. I'm still embarrassed.