Man Breaks Plate Across Partner's Face Over Music

[Mutant Couch]

You need to reply to that, Burkkake. Maybe you can get some extra cash while you're down there.

[Astrozombie]

Mar 21, 2014 17:51:05 GMT -5 Mutant Couch said:

You need to reply to that, Burkkake. Maybe you can get some extra cash while you're down there.

Whenever I see Burke, I will only see that. That is wonderful, thank you.

[Burke]

Florida at it again.

Florida Worker Mistakes Woman's Corpse For April Fools' Prank

April Fool's Day pranks are often known to be macabre, so when a Florida man spotted what appeared to be a mannequin made to look like a corpse outside his work Tuesday, he tossed it in the trash without giving it a second thought.

It was not until police arrived hours later that 61-year-old Ronald Benjamin, of St Petersburg, learned that the prop he had hurled into the Dumpster was actually a deceased 96-year-old woman.

The victim jumped to her death from the 16th floor of the Peterborough Apartments senior housing complex where she lived, landing on the pavement outside 440 Fourth Avenue North.

That is where Benjamin, who was manning the front desk in the apartment building, came upon the body when he went out for a smoke at around 4.30am.

The shapeless form on the ground resembled a mannequin, and Benjamin concluded that a reveler returning from a bar must have left it there as a ghoulish April Fool's joke, Tampa Bay Times reported.

Two hours later, another staffer at the housing complex raised concerns about the human figure on the patio, but Benjamin assured her that it was fake.

When a deliverywoman and her son came by later to drop off newspapers, Benjamin asked the boy to help him dispose of the 'dummy' with a knot of gray hair on its head.

Benjamin later recalled that the figure was very light as he and the boy tossed it into a garbage bin.
The clerk did notice that there was some blood on the ground, but he dismissed it as fake gore.

At around 8.30am, a maintenance worker opened the Dumpster to discover the body of a 96-year-old woman, who had committed suicide overnight.

The news left Mr Benjamin stunned and unable to sleep. He insisted that the victim’s face looked rubbery, just like a Halloween mask.

'If I thought for one instant it was a real person I would have called the police, my manager, everyone I could think of,' Benjamin stated.

[Brandon]

I don't care what any of you say. That is the funniest story any of us have ever posted.

[Mutant Couch]

I lost it at 96-year old suicide victim. I mean, shit, if nature let her make it that long she should have just held out a couple more weeks or whatever.

[Burke]

[Deleted]

Burke, I swear to god if you don't do something to end up in this thread this Summer I'm going to be so pissed at you.

[Burke]

If anything I'll be the victim of one of these stories.

Seriously, I'm going to look at everybody like they're a potential psychopath after reading all these stories.

[Wolfgang]

Well its good you guys keep all your crazies in one state.

[Brandon]

- Tragic Haircut Ruins Florida Grandmother

A Central Florida grandmother said a bad haircut is ruining her life, and now she's demanding money from the salon for her "pain and suffering."
Vyunda Bradshaw said she wants $1,000 after the stylist at Great Clips gave her a bad cut.
"I attend church regularly, I have a social life, I can't go anywhere with my hair looking like this," she said.
Strips of her hair are gone, she has a bald spot and there's uneven shaping all around after she said the stylist used clippers.
"I don't wear wigs, it's 97-degree weather," Bradshaw said. "With the wig it's going to be 125 degrees and I'm going to pass the heck out."

The gasp I let out...

Granny got did in.

[Brandon]

- FL Woman Feeds Daughter Tapeworms to Make Her Lose Weight

When a teenage girl arrived with a bulging stomach at a Florida hospital, pediatric E.R. nurse, Maricar Cabral-Osorio and her fellow staffers thought the girl might be pregnant, but an ultrasound showed no signs of a baby.

At some point, the patient went to the bathroom and started screaming. "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl."

One question remained. "We were wondering how did she get those tapeworms, and then you saw the mom turn white," Cabral-Osorio said. "The mom was apologizing to the girl: "I'm so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant."

Cabral-Osorio said the mother admitted giving the girl pills with tapeworm eggs.

More...

What the hell is wrong with the people in Florida? Is it the sun, the water, the air...

I think I would pass out on the spot if I went to the bathroom and a bunch of worms came sliding out of my ass.

[Burke]

thechive.com/2014/08/21/florida-is-not-where-normal-happens-32-photos/

Florida needs to get it together, quick.

[Angelwings]

"Woman Stabs Spouse with Ceramic Squirrel over Beer"



That is best headline ever material.

[Burke]

I liked this one.

[Brandon]