Money in the Bank

[Brandon]

Here's all of the important notes and results you need in regards to tonight's Money in the Bank PPV.

• Big Show's fat ass broke the ladder rung.
  
• Kane wins the SmackDown! Money in the Bank ladder match.
  
• Sheamus declares himself "beautiful." Boy stop.
  
• Eve is dressed like Hulk Hogan's illegitimate daughter.
  
• Alicia retains the Divas Championship. No1curr.
  
• Tamina finally bought a new shirt.
  
• Natalya body slams Tamina on the outside.
  
• David Hart Smith makes Thing #1 tap via the Sharpshooter and The Hart Dynasty retain the Unified Tag Team Championship.
  
• Rey Mysterio lurked Dolph Ziggler's booty shorts and made a full costume out of them.
  
• Jack Swagger puts Rey Mysterio in an Angle ankle lock, but Rey Rey's cheap boots come off.
  
• Rey Mysterio retains the World Heavyweight Championship and is celebrating over-dramatically.
  
• Kane comes out, cashes in his Money in the Bank suitcase, puts his foot up Rey's ass and wins the World Heavyweight Championship.
  
• Kelly Kelly pushes Michelle McCool over the barricade in the LMAO moment of the night.
  
• Layla retains the Women's Championship in a 5* match.
  
• Maryse accompanies Ted DiBiase Jr. to the RAW Money in the Bank ladder match and looks to die for.
  
• With all of the guys out of the ring, Maryse gets in, takes off her heels, sets up a ladder, and goes for the Money in the Bank suitcase herself!
  
• Our nation's champion, The Miz, wins the RAW Money in the Bank ladder match and delivers an inspirational promo. Best match of the night.
  
• WWE fans forget Sheamus exists.
  
• Nexus player hate Cena.
  
• Sheamus retains the WWE Championship. No1curr.
  
• Cena unjustly targets Darren Young once again.

And that, ladies and gentleman, was Money in the Bank in a nutshell.

Thanks to Beautiful Persons' own astrozombie50 (what's his name again?) for having the stream hookup on lock.

[Astrozombie]

Was the Kelly match good? And how was the Eve/Alicia match?

[Burke]

Oh shiiiiit! Sounds like Maryse's spot in the MITB match stole the show, haha. Can't wait to see this.

[Brandon]

Eve vs. Alicia was okay. I don't know, I just don't really care for either of them so I wasn't that into it. Eve did do a standing moonsault ala Victoria tho. I really liked Kelly Kelly vs. Layla. I think Kelly proved here that she can be taken seriously as a ~main event Diva. Another fun spot in this match was when Kelly was laying on the ring apron and Michelle got her in face to taunt her. Layla ran up behind Kelly and drop kicked her, sending her outside on top of Michelle with an inadvertent crossbody.

Maryse stole the show for me, but that's to be expected.



She almost had it in the bag until HoMo cock blocked her.

[Burke]

Did I just catch Morrison trying to cop a look up Maryse’s dress?

And the crowd reaction (or lack thereof) for the diva matches is getting more and more embarrassing. I’ve been to funerals that were more lively than Alicia v Eve. At least they did manage to come alive when Kelly went psycho on Michelle on the outside and then for Maryse’s daring attempt to grab the briefcase, the 2 highlights of the night, no doubt. Kelly getting angry is hilarious.

[Brandon]

Yes, HoMo couldn't wait to get his grubby hands on our Queen. Just trying to feel up on her butt whut. Who can blame him tho? She's hotter than his man girl.

[Burke]

Melina obviously isn't woman enough for him.

Matt Striker is a fucking horrible announcer. I planned to watch the other MITB match as well but I'm already tired of listening to his useless analogies. Maryse should immediately replace him on color commentary for all future PPV's/special events.

[Brandon]

He really is. I just watched the segment over again and he called her a "former Women's Champion and Divas Champion." I take pride in the fact that Maryse is the only two time Divas Champion. Get your act together, Striker.

[Burke]

Another of his pearls of wisdom: "If you have broken your fingers then it's going to make it harder to pull yourself up the ladder". No shit, Matthew.

[Brandon]

I die a little bit inside every time he calls Layla his Lil' English Muffin.

[Burke]

How can I forget his horrible attempt at the English accent? When Michael Cole finds you unfunny it's probably time to call it a day. His blatant favoritism and pandering towards Laycool and his lack of interest in poor Kelly in that match was sickening.

Back to people who matter, I'm just imagining the possibilty of Maryse getting over excited on top of that ladder, breaking from the script and pulling the briefcase down straight away before Morrison could stop her, lol.