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Post by Mutant Couch on Jan 15, 2015 16:18:29 GMT -5
lol I can't believe some teenager tried to pull a reverse Chris Hansen on you.
Burke, I would be the happiest person in the world if you got Tinder or Grindr. The stories you'd have...
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Post by Burke on Jan 15, 2015 17:45:28 GMT -5
Burke, I would be the happiest person in the world if you got Tinder or Grindr. The stories you'd have... I might at some point. In the immortal words of Diddy and Ginuwine, I Need a Girl. Although maybe the fact that I go around quoting Diddy and Ginuwine is one of the reasons why I can’t get a girl.  |
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Post by Brandon on Jan 15, 2015 18:06:47 GMT -5
In the immortal words of Diddy and Ginuwine, I Need a Girl. Maybe you should try a boy?  |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Jan 15, 2015 18:08:38 GMT -5
Plus, if you would quit turning everyone that is interested in upkilt shots down, then maybe you'd have less trouble.
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Post by Burke on Jan 15, 2015 18:16:02 GMT -5
In the immortal words of Diddy and Ginuwine, I Need a Girl. Maybe you should try a boy? I think I've found my new entrance theme if NFA ever comes back. |
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Post by Brandon on Apr 13, 2015 17:30:11 GMT -5
My teacher this morning when we were the only two people in the classroom: When's the test? Me, in the middle of trying to cram before class starts: ... I thought it was today? My teacher: No... I think it's tomorrow. Did we finish covering the heart? Me: I think so? My teacher: What's the last chapter you have notes for? My lying ass, who didn't take any notes, pretending to flip through my notebook: Umm... chapter 12? My teacher: Okay, that's what I thought. I may have derailed his whole lesson plan.  |
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Post by Brandon on May 9, 2015 6:17:56 GMT -5
Last night I was talking to this guy and he said he wished he could shave me.  |
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Post by Mutant Couch on May 18, 2015 12:39:47 GMT -5
Aunt: They're opening a Jurassic Park theme park.
Me: What?
Aunt: They just advertised it on tv.
Me: You mean the movie?
Aunt: No. It's not a movie it's a theme park with dinosaurs like Jurassic Park.
Me: Jurassic World?
Aunt: Yeah.
Me: It's a movie.
I can't deal with these people so often.
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Post by Brandon on May 31, 2015 16:25:37 GMT -5
I went to see Poltergeist today with the guy who I was supposed to see Jurassic Park with a few days ago. Like, he's funny and we have a lot of similar interests which makes for good conversation and he told me a couple of weeks ago that he likes me but I let him I don't see us being more than friends and that I'm not really trying to date anyone right now, but after the movie we grabbed lunch and did some shopping and when I was I dropping him back off at his car but he told me to wait because he had something for me and when he came back the proceeding occurred:
Him: *Presents me with the Emma Frost Ultimate Collection.*
Me: *Feigning surprise.* "Oh my God! I can't believe you got me this, how thoughtful!"
Him: "Yeah, I thought of you as soon as I saw it since I know how much you love Emma and I - wait, you already have it, don't you?"
Me: "...Yeah. My friend got it for me for my birthday."
Him: "God damn it!"
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Post by Burke on Jun 8, 2015 12:40:02 GMT -5
Once a year or so I get a visit at work from one of the security supervisors from my company to see if you're doing a decent job, etc. One of them turned up today and the first thing he said was, "what's happening, Willie?" Bitch, you don't know me like that.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Aug 11, 2015 23:33:50 GMT -5
After another phone call with my grandma I realized how frequently she suggests sex as a cure.
First time I remember:
Me(15): My cramps are really bad this time.
Her: I stopped getting cramps after I started having sex.
Me: *horrified*
We've had variations of that conversation many more times.
Me: I'm not up to it, I have a headache.
Her: Orgasms are good for that.
Me: Okay...
Most recently:
Me: All this cut grass is killing me.
Her: You might feel better if you were having sex regularly.
Me: You need to stop.
Her: I'm only trying to help.
Honestly, her believing dicks have magic powers explains why she was nicer to my male cousins than female ones.
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Post by Burke on Aug 16, 2015 8:18:03 GMT -5
I hate when I'm in my garden and one of the neighbours is in theirs too. They always want to talk about some boring bullshit and they don't take the hint that you don't want to talk.
I'm walking away, waving and am like, "okay then, bye", and not only do they not take the hint but they'll start telling me a whole new story and I'm trapped for another 5 minutes.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Aug 16, 2015 12:44:50 GMT -5
That's why I put in earbuds before I exit my house. They're usually not even plugged into anything. I also then don't make eye contact. I don't even know any of their names.
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Post by Burke on Aug 16, 2015 12:47:52 GMT -5
That's why I put in earbuds before I exit my house. They're usually not even plugged into anything. I also then don't make eye contact. I don't even know any of their names. I try to avoid eye contact too but they shout me over. I need to try the earbud idea. |
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Post by Brandon on Aug 16, 2015 15:33:46 GMT -5
That's why I put in earbuds before I exit my house. They're usually not even plugged into anything. I also then don't make eye contact. I don't even know any of their names. I try to avoid eye contact too but they shout me over. I need to try the earbud idea. You'll never commit. They'll still call your name and you'll still turn around because you're not bitchy enough to pretend you didn't hear them like MC or I would. |
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