Awkward Interactions

[Mutant Couch]

I was semi-flirting with this guy earlier tonight, but then this happened:

Guy: If by strange chance you didn't see X-Men yet, you and I should go see it.
Me: I have seen it and I didn't even complain about Gambit. You should totally see it.
Guy: Uh, yeah, I will for sure.

I didn't realize until like 20 minutes later that he was asking me out. I'm kind of mad.

[Deleted]

Smooth

[Mutant Couch]

We can't all be good at getting laid, okay.

[Deleted]

It's not all your fault. He was being too vague. He should've just been like:

"Yo Jess...."


It's what I would've done.

[Mutant Couch]

It probably would have worked. Unless I just thought he had a weird tick.

[Mutant Couch]

The cashier at the grocery store told me I look "just like" her brother. I'm done with people.

[Mutant Couch]

I met Tarry's American counterpart tonight. I was wearing my Johnny Gargano t-shirt and this happened:

Him: Do you like Power Rangers?
Me: I don't dislike it.
Him: I'm excited for next week.
Me: Why?
Him: My Megazord is coming.
Me:... cool?

[Mutant Couch]

My uncle (not the ridiculous one that I'm going to give to B) has hooked up with a woman with kids. I was talking to the little girl today.

Her: I want an American flag for Christmas.
Me: Just a flag?
Her: AMERICAN flag.
Me: Do you want it on a shirt or dress?
Her: Shirt. No. Dress.
Me: Okay. Can it be an ugly dress?
Her: No. I hate ugly people.

New mascot.

[Burke]

This happened while I was walking down the high street this morning.

Random preacher on the street while pointing at me: "You look like a man of God. I can always tell. Am I right, brother?"

Me while quickly walking away: "No, not really."

I kinda felt terrible. Like I had just spoiled a magicians trick.

[Brandon]

Over the summer I had a date with this really cute guy and we got ice cream and talked and we really hit it off and made plans for a second date, but then when the day came he totally blew me off and didn't respond to my text asking him if we were still on.

Today he came into my job and I had to help him, and my manager was standing right there so I had to be extra polite and friendly.

It was so degrading.

[Mutant Couch]

This bitch constantly tries to set me up and I've been dumb enough to go for it a couple of times. I think she secretly hates me.

Friend: My boyfriend's friend would be great for you.
Me: I'm good.
Friend: You should come over and meet him.
Me: What's wrong with him?
Friend: Nothing. He's cute and reminds me of your uncle.
Me: ...

[Brandon]

So while I was on grindr earlier I started chit-chatting with this cute guy who was nearby and he said I should visit him at work when I got off because it was dead, and it was on my way home, so I thought, why not? Thinking if we hit it off, maybe we could hang out later. So I stopped by, and this transpired.

Him: What kind of movies do you like?
Me: I like horror, action, comedy...
Him: *Nods along interestedly.*
Me: What about you? What kind of movies do you like?
Him: Oh, I don't really like movies. I like sports.
Me: Oh. Well, what kind of sports do you like?
Him: Football. I'm not really sure what I like now that that's over, though.
Me, beginning to find him strange: Ah...
Him: Pull your dick out.
Me: ... Right now?
Him: *Nods.*
Me: ... Isn't that a camera? *Points to the corner behind him.*
Him: *Looks over his shoulder, then back at me.* Nah.
Me: I'm pretty sure that's a camera.
Him: I don't think it is...
Me: Are you sure about that?
Him: *Stands up and examines the camera.* Oh, maybe it is...
Me: I better be going...

[Burke]

Jan 14, 2015 17:34:44 GMT -5 Brandon said:

So while I was on grindr earlier I started chit-chatting with this cute guy who was nearby and he said I should visit him at work when I got off because it was dead, and it was on my way home, so I thought, why not? Thinking if we hit it off, maybe we could hang out later. So I stopped by, and this transpired.

Him: What kind of movies do you like?
Me: I like horror, action, comedy...
Him: *Nods along interestedly.*
Me: What about you? What kind of movies do you like?
Him: Oh, I don't really like movies. I like sports.
Me: Oh. Well, what kind of sports do you like?
Him: Football. I'm not really sure what I like now that that's over, though.
Me, beginning to find him strange: Ah...
Him: Pull your dick out.
Me: ... Right now?
Him: *Nods.*
Me: ... Isn't that a camera? *Points to the corner behind him.*
Him: *Looks over his shoulder, then back at me.* Nah.
Me: I'm pretty sure that's a camera.
Him: I don't think it is...
Me: Are you sure about that?
Him: *Stands up and examines the camera.* Oh, maybe it is...
Me: I better be going...

Dating in America sounds terrifying.

All the horror stories you guys have of meeting up with these Grindr/Tinder people make me think of this (the second half anyway):



Y’all are putting your life on the line every time you agree to meet up with one of these psychos.

[Brandon]

Jan 15, 2015 14:00:23 GMT -5 Burke said:

Dating in America sounds terrifying.

All the horror stories you guys have of meeting up with these Grindr/Tinder people make me think of this (the second half anyway):



Y’all are putting your life on the line every time you agree to meet up with one of these psychos.

Well bitch, do I have a story for you. Because I just got home from being catfished.

All afternoon I'd been chatting with this gorgeous biracial dude. He told me he was 19, and he looked even older than that in his picture. After a few hours, he said he really wanted to meet me, and I was feeling him, so I agreed. I showered, cleaned up in case we decided to come back to my place, and drove to our agreed meeting spot. He told me he was letting his sister borrow his car and that he was gonna walk, so I drove across town to accommodate him. While I'm on my way there, he 'jokingly' asked if I were a cop, talmbout you can never be too careful. And in my head I'm thinking, why would it even matter if I were? Unless you're underage or a prostitute or something, but we certainly haven't discussed me paying you for anything.

I park, and after a few seconds I see someone approaching, texting, and I ask if he's wearing a gray hoodie. He texts back yes. As he gets closer, he's beginning to look less and less like the guy in the photo. In the photo, he was light skin with strong facial features. In person, he had dark skin and a chubby little face. I debate locking my doors, but I'm too nice, and I let him into my car. He has his hood up, trying to conceal his face. Reluctantly, the first thing I ask him is if that was really his picture he sent me. He told me yes, but that he looks different because he needs a haircut, but that I'm not the first person to ask him that. I start to give him the benefit of the doubt, because I know my Instagram is a collage of selfies and none of them look the same depending on the lighting and filter, but as I begin to drive it just isn't sitting well with me. The joke asking if I were a cop, the vast difference in appearance from the photo he sent me. He tries to strike up a casual conversation, talking about how crazy guys on grindr are, and all I can think is, yeah, and you're one of them. I look at him, and I ask him if he's really 19, and tell him he looks much younger. He laughs and says yes, but I'm not the first person who doesn't believe him. I know he's lying, so I turn around and drive back to where he got in. I tell him I'm sorry, but that I'm not feeling this anymore. He tells me he understands and gets out. I quickly lock the doors and drive away, and when I fish my phone out of my pocket to text every one I've ever met, there's a text from him that he sent when I asked if that was really him in the photo, and it said, "Just go with it for me."

[Burke]

Holy shit.