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Post by jayzero42690 on Jun 9, 2012 22:19:51 GMT -5
I'm so there
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Post by Brandon on Jun 9, 2012 22:39:16 GMT -5
I feel like we definitely have to bring our families together at some point in this lifetime. And then lock them away for all eternity.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Jun 20, 2012 20:02:43 GMT -5
I need to find a new grocery store.
Guy in need of grooming: You'd look good with my dick in your mouth.
Me: -Okay, I was a little too busy laughing to reply, but seriously how else do you respond to something that stupid?-
Him: Bitch.
Me: -This is probably where I should have made some sort of retort and defended my honor or something, but it really just prompted more laughter.-
He left before I could give him my number.
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Post by Tiarnán on Jun 25, 2012 17:43:23 GMT -5
I wasn't sure what to make of this. I was talking to this South Asian guy at work and we were the only two in the staff place. I was telling him I don't really like the club I was at last Thursday and said that people seem to think everyone who goes there is a 'poser'. I think he mistook the word 'poser' for something else though.
Him: Yeah, I hate those posers. One time I was there and they started feeling my ass. I wasn't having it like.
Me: Oh, okay, haha. *Looks at book quickly*
...
Him: That was my girlfriend on the phone.
Me: Mhm.
Him: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Um, no...
Him: You should get one.
Me: Hmmm...
Him: It'd be good for companionship and bed.
Me: Oh...
Him: Are you interested in anyone?
Me: Okay, that's my break over! See you!
Maybe I'm just being paranoid, and he doesn't seem horrible or anything, but something was holding me back from saying 'NO, I like boys'.
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Post by Brandon on Jun 25, 2012 17:49:39 GMT -5
Whelp.
That misjudgement really doesn't get any less awkward over time.
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Post by jayzero42690 on Jun 25, 2012 18:14:59 GMT -5
Him: It'd be good for companionship and bed. lololololololololol |
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Post by Burke on Jul 7, 2012 6:46:50 GMT -5
I came across an old school friend on Facebook so sent a friend request and a PM asking how he has been doing. Then I had a look at his wall and noticed that he had said he's been in prison for a lot of the past few years. Oops.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Jul 14, 2012 19:16:14 GMT -5
All the background you need is that this guy I don't know came up to me at a kid's birthday party and sat next to me and started talking.
Him: Can you believe someone broke into my house and stole everything?
Me: Oh, that's awful.
Him: When I was in the hospital they just took everything, the guns, money, drugs.
That was immediately after introduction. I don't need to know that much about anyone I'm not getting naked with.
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Post by jayzero42690 on Jul 31, 2012 0:59:08 GMT -5
I don't know if I ever mentioned on here but when I lost my house in January I had to move back in with my mom. Which is pretty much the worst thing ever when you've been on your own for 2 years. Doesn't help that she has the most idiodic, pot smoking, ugly ass, hick, white trash boyfriend now and I pretty much loathe everything about the guy. My payoff for living with the guy all year was I got to punch him in the face on 4th of July. Anywho, I forgot my load in the laundry when I went to the store earlier, and he decided to do his, mixing my clothes with his. I will probably burn these clothes before I wear them again, but while he was separating his clothes from mine, awkwardness ensued. .....  I seen the purple underwear. I knew he was about to see the purple underwear. I knew he was going to say something about the god damn purple underwear. What I didn't expect, was for him to pick them up and examine them like the fucking guy looking at the mosquito at the beginning of Jurassic Park. Me: Yeah those are mine thanks. (Snatches them out of his hand) Douchebag: No comment... yet Me: No comment ever. Douchebag: Why are they purple? Me: Cause it's a fucking color and they came in a pack with black and gray. (Gives me judging look) Fuck you asshole. Just cause your uglass can't pull off purple doesn't mean I'm not allowed to bring out my inner Zack Ryder whenever I see fit. Now give me my drawers and move on with your life. |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Aug 6, 2012 16:13:36 GMT -5
Kid: Who is that on your shirt, Big Time Rush?
Me: No. It's The Clash.
Kid: What are Clash?
Fucking kids.
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Post by Tiffany on Aug 7, 2012 17:40:03 GMT -5
*at Forever 21 during my lunch break*  Me: You look familiar. Her: Yeah, I get that a lot! Me: I can't remember where I know you from tho... were you on tv? Her: Yup, the Real World. McKenzie. Me: Well, it's nice to meet you. Her: Keep watching tv, I might be on there again soon! Me: Oh.  oop, I thought she was Billie Piper. |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Sept 12, 2012 13:08:39 GMT -5
I was interviewing a possible babysitter today...
Her: When is her bedtime?
Me: It goes to sleep around 9. Shit. I meant she. She goes to sleep around 9.
It got really awkward after that. I think she might take the job just to check that I don't abuse the child too much.
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Post by Tiffany on Sept 15, 2012 18:06:08 GMT -5
Customer: What's your name? Me: Tiffany Customer: You're really pretty. I like your dress; it's really cute. Me: Thanks! Customer: Can I get your number? Me: ...How old are you? Customer: 17  |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Sept 15, 2012 19:25:15 GMT -5
Perfect. It gives you time to train him before dating even comes up.
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Post by Brandon on Oct 11, 2012 13:59:22 GMT -5
At lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while: Him: So why are you gay? Me:  At least he acknowledged that it was incredibly rude right after, I guess. |
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