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Post by Mutant Couch on Jan 15, 2012 3:23:29 GMT -5
Creepy Cabbie: You look nice.
Me: Uh, thanks.
Creepy Cabbie: I like your hair.
Me: Thank you.
Creepy Cabbie: Can I touch it?
GIBS: No.
I probably would have let him, honestly.
Later tonight:
Annoying Clerk: *stoner giggle* That's funny.
Me (after looking around in an attempt to figure this shit out): What?
Annoying Clerk: You're buying carrot juice.
Me (after checking the expiration date again): Is there something wrong with it?
Annoying Clerk: No, but you're buying carrot juice and you're a carrot top. Get it?
Me: Can I have my change now?
I'm thinking about going brunette.
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Post by Brandon on Jan 15, 2012 4:47:11 GMT -5
lol irl.
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Post by Burke on Jan 16, 2012 16:07:26 GMT -5
Guy at work: "You ever been to Aberdeen?"
Me: "Yeah. I can’t stand the place. The people are so smug."
Other guy: "I’m originally from Aberdeen."
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Post by Mutant Couch on Jan 18, 2012 22:08:45 GMT -5
GIBS: You didn't tell me he was special needs.
Me: He's not.
GIBS: Has he been tested?
Unfortunately my uncle stopped by while the boyfriend was over.
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Post by Brandon on Jan 19, 2012 3:28:59 GMT -5
I'm actually jealous that he got to meet your uncle before me.
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Post by Tarry on Feb 10, 2012 11:20:44 GMT -5
I was watching Royal Rumble 2004 with my younger cousin last Saturday. He's only recently got into wrestling, so I thought I had to show him some of the stuff he's missed. I completely forgot that 2004 was Benoit's year, so out he comes and my cousin asks me a series of questions.
Him: Who's he?
Me: Chris Benoit.
Him: Where is he now?
Me: He's dead.
Him: How did he die?
Me: Erm...
Him: Natural causes?
Me: Yeah, if you like.
Him: Was he strong?
Me: Perhaps too strong.
Him: Could he kill someone?
Me: ... Oh look, Randy Orton's entry number two.
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Post by Brandon on Feb 18, 2012 15:22:51 GMT -5
Friend: "My girlfriend and I wanna try anal, any advice?"
Me: ...
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Post by Tarry on Feb 25, 2012 10:21:08 GMT -5
There's nothing more awkward than having to make conversation with someone after you've been told that their second job is as a porn actress.
I didn't really know what to say. I couldn't really say, "I love your work," could I?
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Post by Tiarnán on Feb 27, 2012 13:39:50 GMT -5
It wasn't one on one interaction, but the lecturer today spent about fifteen minutes rambling on about the part of the book that was describing anal sex. He talked about the sounds and the pain and the motions and everything. Then he said something like, "Whoops, got a bit distracted by the excitement there..."
It was awful but hilarious.
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Post by Brandon on Mar 1, 2012 2:37:19 GMT -5
Me: "I wanna be celibate."
My friend: "Until when? Monday?"
Me: "No really, I'm really thinking about being celibate."
My friend: "You gone be sellin' it on this corner, that corner. . ."
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Post by Tiffany on Mar 2, 2012 23:23:04 GMT -5
Mom: "Why aren't you and that Karen girl still friends?" Me: "Because she accused me of dating her boyfriend, Michael." Mom: "But you did date Michael." Me: "Yeah, but she didn't know that for sure."  |
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Post by Brandon on Mar 4, 2012 19:48:43 GMT -5
( From last night) Guy: "Wanna go for a run?" Me: "I'm about to go sleep." * A lie* Guy: "Come on! Just this once, I can't fall asleep.  " Me: "It's 50 degrees outside and it's going to rain . . ." Guy: "Well we could watch a movie." Me: * Cuts phone off* |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Mar 6, 2012 19:45:27 GMT -5
Stranger: Hold up, baby, let me talk to you.
Me: What?
Stranger: You wanna hang out tonight?
Me: No thanks.
Stranger: What? You don't like black guys?
It was a brilliant move on his part, because I had no clue how to proceed. Anyway, I will not be going to that store anymore, the time before that some weird homeless guy showed me his penis, without me asking him to.
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Post by BigFaker on Mar 10, 2012 6:58:17 GMT -5
Stranger: Hold up, baby, let me talk to you. Me: What? Stranger: You wanna hang out tonight? Me: No thanks. Stranger: What? You don't like black guys? It was a brilliant move on his part, because I had no clue how to proceed. Anyway, I will not be going to that store anymore, the time before that some weird homeless guy showed me his penis, without me asking him to. So it's not all bad? |
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Post by Mutant Couch on Mar 10, 2012 15:54:24 GMT -5
I suppose not. It is probably good to see as much penis as possible so you know when you've got a quality one on hand.
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"