No Fatties Allowed Episode 33!
BP United States Championship Chase! Match: Our show started off strong with a US Championship Chase! Match between
'the Worlds Strongest Man' Mark Henry taking on
'Bad Ass' Billy Gunn. Henry went on the attack from the bell, hitting Mr. Ass with various bodyslams. Mark looked to have the match won at one point when he delivered a huge splash in the centre of the ring to Gunn, but he kicked out at 2. Henry was obviously frustrated as he shot Billy Gunn into the ropes looking for a rebound Worlds Strongest Slam, but Gunn was too quick as he the Sleepslam out of nowhere. Gunn set up and delivered a Falling Powerbomb and followed it up with a huge Fameasser for the win.
Next up
Hernandez and
Rosita of Mexican America took on BP European Champion
Worldsstrongestman and the number one contender to the European Championship,
Jessica. Jessica started the match against Rosita. Jessica connected with many stiff kicks to the legs and abdomen of the tiny Rosita. Rosita managed to run the ropes and connect with a low dropkick on Jessica. Rosita tagged in Hernandez and he went to work on Jessica. He lifted Jessica into the Bordertoss as Worldsstrongestman just looked on. Luckily for Jessica she reversed the move into a sunset flip for the near fall. She delivered a few kicks to the legs, chest and jaw of Hernandez before setting him up in the corner for her patented Super Sofaplex, but Worldsstrongestman swiped the legs off his teammate knocking her from the top rope. A confused Jessica looked up at the BP European Champion, who shouted some abuse at her before walking away from the match. Jessica turned back around to Hernandez who delivered a huge Super Mex shoulder tackle from the top rope for the win.
BREAKING NEWS: Worldsstrongestman will explain his actions next week, live on No Fatties Allowed!
We're back from the commerical break and there's a café set up in the ring. This can mean only one thing, it's time for the Beautiful Persons debut of Café de René!
René Duprée made his way to the ring with his BP Tag Team Championship under his arm, sat down in a chair and sipped on a coffee as the crowd booed him for eating up TV time. He shushed them a few times before picking up his microphone and cursing them out in French. He took another sip of coffee, cleared his throat and introduced his guest... the other half of the BP Tag Team Champions,
Magnus. Magnus strolled to the ring and embraced his tag partner with a manly hug. The two of them sat down and discussed their plans as a tag team. They informed the crowd that
Co-GM Roddy Piper gave them the power to bring new blood to the BP Tag Team Division, and that's exactly what they've done. Tonight we'll see two new tag teams debut! Magnus told the crowd that Roddy Piper also granted them the privilege of choosing their opponents for
Neon Night. René laughed and said something rather sinister in French. If our viewers have any clue as to what he said, drop us a Tweet!
Up next was the Motor City Machine Guns,
Alex Shelley and
Chris Sabin taking on the debuting team
Chuck Taylor and
Johnny Gargano who are collectively known as F.I.S.T.
Magnus and
Duprée had a table reserved at ringside, where they kept a close eye on the participants. The finish came when 'The Whole Shebang' Johnny Gargano locked in the Crosston Crab on Chris Sabin for the submission win. René and Magnus gave a standing ovation as we cut to commercial.
We make a triumphant return from the commercial break with a
BP United States Championship Chase! Match: The former Continental Coalition enforcer
Wade Barrett took on the Apex Predator
Randy Orton for a place in the second semi-final 3-way at
Neon Night. Orton went on the offense early, getting in some Power Slams and headlocks before Barrett made a comeback with a huge Blackhole Slam. Orton appeared to be finished but he managed to kick out before 3. Barrett set up for Wasteland, but the Viper wriggled out of it and hit a huge RKO out of nowhere. Orton has the match won, but he's not finished. He obviously remembers all the stress Barrett caused him as not only a member of the Continental Coalition but also as the leader of the Nexus. Orton hears the voices in his head and they're telling him to punt Wade, and that's exactly what he did. Orton covered Barrett for the win. After the match, the medical team sprinted to ringside to check on Barrett. They strapped him to a stretcher and got him to an ambulance. We hope to have an update on Wade's condition ASAP.
Next up was another tag team match, this time between the highspeed
Brian Kendrick &
Paul London the debuting team of 'The Funky Pharaoh'
Amasis & 'The Venomous and Vile Serpent from the Nile'
Ophidian. Amasis and London start the match. London tried to lock up but Amasis teased him with an MC Hammer shuffle everytime he tried. London got frustrated and tagged in Kendrick, which made Amasis tag in Ophidian. Kendrick went to town on Ophidian, pulling on his mask a few times which wound up the Serpent. Kendrick pulled Ophidian over to the corner, where he delivered a few chops. Everytime Kendrick chopped Ophidian, he made a loud hissing noise; obviously mocking Ophidian. Kendrick turned his back and this gave Ophidian the chance to roll across the ring to tag in the Funky Pharoah. London jumped into the ring and the four of the them went at it. Ophidian was irish-whipped into Amasis who caught Ophidian. Amasis pointed Ophidian at Kendrick and London as the Serpent performed his infamous hypnosis techinque. Amasis called out the the production truck, who started to play
Super Bass into the arena. Ophidian and Amasis took the opportunity to start a dance-off between the hypnotised Londrick and the slightly insane Osirian Portal. After the short dance-off, the Portal picked up the win with the Osirian Sacrament on Kendrick. After the match,
Magnus &
Duprée were shown in
Roddy Piper's office. They tell him that they want to face The Osirian Portal at
Neon Night. He approves their decision.
BP United States Championship Chase! Match: 'The All-American American' Jack Swagger made quick work of
'Long Island Ice Z' Zack Ryder after Ryder went for the Rough Ryder on the opening bell but was caught in a huge powerbomb by Swagger. After the match
Billy Gunn made his way to the ring to confront Swagger. Before Gunn had a chance to speak, he was interrupted by
Randy Orton. Orton was then interrupted by
Chris Jericho. Jericho himself was interrupted by
Jason and
John Cena. The final 6 of the BP United States Championship Chase! all stood in the ring giving each other the side-eye.
Co-GM Sable walked out onto the stage and announced that next week, Randy Orton will team with Jack Swagger and Billy Gunn to take on the team of John Cena, Jason and Chris Jericho. No one looked pleased with this decision.
After the commercial break,
Booker T entered the ring and decided to treat our fans to a Spin-a-Roonie! During his performance he was blindsighted by a hooded man who entered from the crowd. The mystery man pull back his hood to revealed himself as,
Nigel McGuinness. McGuinness delivered a Tower of London to Booker and then left the ring and sat next to
Jim Ross at the Commentation Station. McGuinness told JR and the fans that he's kindly allowed Booker to take some time off. It looks like Nigel is sticking around for the time being.
The BP ring crew are rolling a tartan mat in the ring, it looks like it's time for Piper's Pit!
Co-GM Roddy Piper's music hit and he walked to the ring to a massive reaction. He says this isn't about him and it's about
Tiffany confronting
Jazz. He brought out the BP Women's Champion first. Piper asked her how it felt to be the BP Women's Champion. "The championship is a bonus. The real prize is the pleasure I get from snapping Barbie dolls, week in week out," replied Jazz. Piper decides that it's time to bring out the challenger. Tiffany's music hits but she's nowhere to be seen. "I obviously scared her off," bragged Jazz. Tiffany's music hit again, and Jazz stared out at the stage waiting for her. Tiffany's on the top rope, but Jazz hasn't seen her. "Turn around you dozy cow!" uttered
Nigel McGuinness from the Commentation Station. Jazz must have heard McGuinness because she did indeed turn around, however she turned around into a huge dropkick from Tiffany. Tiffany mounted Jazz and smashed her head off the canvas multiple times before Roddy Piper broke up the attack. He announced that Jazz would defend the BP Women's Championship against Tiffany next week on
No Fatties Allowed!
After a much need commercial break,
Douglas Williams,
Co-GM Sable,
THE Tarrynator and Tarrynator's enormous legal team met in the ring for a contract signing. Doug signed the contract and passed it to Tarry. Tarry passed it to one of his lawyers who ripped it up and handed him a new one. Tarry explained to Doug that he's made a few changes to the match. Tarry says he's no coward, so he's allowed Doug to keep his original stipulation. However, if Williams uses the Chaos Theory Suplex; he's instantly DQ'd. Also, THE Tarrynator can use foreign objects if he pleases; he's also allowed outside help if he desperately needs it. Tarry proceeded to sign the contract. Sable called out Tarry as a fool, saying nobody in their right mind would agree to those ridiculous rules. Doug obviously falls into that catergory as he too signed the contract. Tarry ordered his lawyers to attack Doug... they just looked at Tarry like he's lost his mind. Doug jumped over the table and wiped them all out. Doug picked up Tarry, looking to German Suplex him through the table. Tarry reversed his attempt and instead put Doug through the table with a vicious Top Rope Tarrydise. Tarry left the ring with his entourage.
Our main event was up next,
Burke made his way to the ring and waited for his opponent
Tiarnan. Tiarnan brought
Jayzero's BP World Championship to the ring with him, treating it as his own. Burke and T locked up and went at it from the bell. Midway through their PPV quality match, the current BP World Champion Jayzero made his way to ringside to reclaim his championship. Tiarnan, obviously emulating Jayzero's reaction last week, started screaching "My championship!" repeatedly. T turned around into a huge FU from Burke! Burke got the 3 count and the victory. After the match, Brandon sprinted down the aisle to attack Burke. Burke no-sold the attack and threw Brandon over the top rope onto Tiarnan. Jayzero and Burke remained in the ring to pose for the fans.
Backstage the Co-GMs
Sable and
Roddy Piper were seen talking about Burke and Brandon's rivalry. They decide to take a week to decide what they're going to do with the two of them.
Tune in next week for the
BP United States Championship Chase! competitors 6-man tag match, BP Women's Champion
Jazz defends the championship against
Tiffany, BP European Champion
Worldsstrongestman will explain why he turned on
Jessica and the Co-GMs will make a decision on Burke & Brandon's feud!
