No Fatties Allowed Episode 30!
We’re just 4 days away from
2 Pretty 2 Bleed live on PPV and
No Fatties Allowed is coming at you live!
We kick things off tonight with a match that is sure to set male pulses racing:
Tiffany vs.
Velvet Sky…in a bra and panties match! The Meanest Girl enters first as
JR reveals that over the weekend Tiffany vs.
Angelina Love for the Women’s title was made official for
2 Pretty 2 Bleed. He also explains that after their out of control brawl last week, it has been ruled that they can’t physically touch one another until their match on Sunday or face an indefinite suspension.
Booker T ponders whether Tiffany requested this match with the
Beautiful People’s second in command Velvet Sky here tonight to “send a message” to Angelina prior to Sunday. Tiffany is aggressive right from the opening bell and takes it to Velvet with an intensity rarely seen in matches of the bra and panty variety. After exposing the steel turnbuckle she slingshots Velvet face first onto it and she’s busted wide open! Tiffany lifts the lifeless Velvet back up, laughs in her bloody face and sends her back down with the Bitch Slap before stripping her down to her bra and panties as the bell rings! Tiffany doesn’t stop there and continues stomping on Velvet after the match until Angelina Love has seen enough and attempts to make the save for her partner! Tiffany see’s her sprinting towards the ring and ducks out before grabbing a mic from ringside. “Security!” “Stop this woman, she’s not allowed to touch me!”
BP officials come down and stand between Tiffany and Angelina. The Meanest Girl can’t help but taunt TBP leader though. “Go on, hit me…I
dare you to!” she laughs as she gets right in Angelina’s face as security try and defuse the situation. “Do it!” “What, are you sca…” Angelina snaps, charges past security, and punches Tiffany in the face! The Women’s Champion dramatically falls to the floor clutching her beautiful face as security hold back Angelina. Tiffany unleashes a devilish smile and demands that Angelina be escorted out of the arena. “Get that woman out of here now!” “She knew the rules…she wasn’t allowed to touch me!” Angelina is forcibly taken to the back and escorted out of the arena and as a result of her violating General Manager
Sable’s no physicality decree, is apparently suspended indefinitely and no longer the no. 1 contender for the Women’s Championship! After a brief commercial break we return to see Tiffany in the backstage area laughing when she comes across a worried
Lacey Von Erich who is distraught over what just happened to her TBP stable-mates. The timid Lacey is clearly petrified of the menacing Tiffany but still manages to muster up the courage to slap her in the face! Tiffany feigns that she’s gonna back off before turning back around, picking up a steer chair and cracking poor Lacey in the head with it! The third generation diva‘s pretty face has been busted open! This is tragic! Tiff casually walks off pleased with her work. JR scolds “that damn jezebel Tiffany” on commentary. “The Beautiful People have been decimated here tonight by this evil woman!” “A bloody Velvet Sky was stretchered out of the ring, Angelina Love is apparently suspended indefinitely and now poor Lacey Von Erich has been destroyed and left in a pool of her own blood!”
GM
Sable was clearly flexing her political muscles this week as up next she booked a match in which long-time rivals
Tiarnán,
Randy Orton and
Cody Rhodes would be forced to team up with each other ahead of their triple threat match this Sunday at
2 Pretty 2 Bleed. Stevie Wonder can see where this ones headed. Sure enough, all hell broke loose when Randal had
John Morrison beat following an RKO but Tiarnán refused to let him get the win for the team and distracted the referee from counting the pinfall, resulting in Randy flooring his one time stalker with a huge right hand! Amidst all this confusion, a conflicted Cody tagged himself in and walked straight into a Spear from
Edge and that was enough for the 3 count. Post match, Randy and Tiarnán were still brawling as a disillusioned Cody watched on before bringing them both to their knees with low blows! He slowly picked T back up and dropped him with the Cross Rhodes! He then turned his attention towards Randy but he had obviously taken too long as the Viper had recovered and brought Cody’s dashing face crashing to the mat with an RKO! He wasn’t done there though. Randal had snapped and was having one of his little moments/seizures. You know what that means…he sets up for the Punt! Just as he’s about to kick Cody’s Frankenstein like head off though, Tiarnán stops him with a spear/tackle like manoeuvre and the two of them trade punches on the mat as Cody bails to the outside. If this is what happens when they’re a team then what will happen when these three men are opponents and encouraged to beat the hell out of each other this Sunday?!
Tiffany is in the back berating a
BP photographer during what appears to be an impromptu photoshoot session. “What did I tell you…this lighting is all wrong!” “Maybe those
Beautiful People bitches will accept mediocrity but when you’re shooting me we do things correctly, understood?” “Don’t think I won’t have your ass fired if…“ GM
Sable comes by and Tiffany immediately stops in her tracks. She looks disgusted with Tiffany after her actions earlier. “You probably think you played us all real good tonight, huh?” “Well guess what, you’re not getting off that easily.” “I said if either you or
Angelina Love laid a finger on the other then that person would be suspended…and I stand by that decision…Angelina Love as of right now is officially deactivated as a member of the
BP roster.” “However…I’ve decided that she will be re-instated…let’s say by…Sunday.” Tiffany screams that its not fair before Sable cuts her off. “Oh, I’m not done here, sweetie.” “You like making people bleed so much, right?“ “Well, Angelina Love will make her return on Sunday just in time to challenge you for the Women’s Championship…in a first blood match!” Sable strolls off as a distraught Tiffany falls to her knees and ponders the injustice of it all. “But I’m too pretty to bleed!”
Mark Henry came to the ring and called out his good friend
Worldsstrongestman. Noting there recent misunderstandings, the former Sexual Chocolate pleaded with his tag partner to come out and bury the hatchet. After a slight delay, WSM made his way out. Henry apologizes for making WSM wrestle in their Tag title match a couple weeks ago before he was medically cleared to compete and says he understands that “it was every man for himself" in the
Beautiful Persons Rumble last week and he has no hard feelings after he eliminated him. WSM responds and says it’s cool, he’s willing to put there recent problems behind them and move on. He suggests that they take a break from their tag team for a little while and focus on their solo careers, noting that he is the current European Champion and defending that title will require his full attention. Mark seemed to take offence to this but eventually begrudgingly accepted and extended his hand. WSM shook his hand and attempted to pull away but Mark pulled him back in and dropped him with a huge Worlds Strongest Slam! “You selfish son of a bitch!” Mae Young’s former beau repeatedly screamed. “I bet you were never gonna offer me a shot at that Championship!” “I thought we were friends!” Henry picked him back up and delivered another Worlds Strongest Slam before making his exit to a chorus of “you suck” chants. After a commercial break, cameras are in GM
Sable’s office as she officially announces Worldsstrongestman vs. Mark Henry for the European Championship at
2 Pretty 2 Bleed.
Up next was the official contract signing for
2 Pretty 2 Bleed’s World Championship match between
Jayzero and
THE Tarrynator.
BP announcer
Jim Ross was the official host. He first introduced the challenger for this Sunday, THE Tarrynator, who of course came to the ring with the entire
Continental Coalition by his side. The World Champ was out next and he received a hero’s welcome from the sold out crowd in attendance. Both champion and challenger took seats on opposite sides of the table set up in the ring as JR (who looked uneasy by the presence of the CC standing behind Tarry) addressed them and asked for their thoughts on the match. Tarry snatched the mic from JR and proceeded to cut a long winded promo. Declaring himself the most distinguished superstar in
Beautiful Persons history, the egomaniacal cult leader ran through his list of accomplishments. “Leader of the most powerful entity in
BP history: The Continetal Coalition, the man who ended
John Cena’s reign as first ever
BP World Champion, 2 time European Champion, winner of the first ever
Beautiful Persons Rumble and by the end of Sunday night: the first ever 2 time
BP World Champion.” Tarry finally stopped talking about himself long enough to sign the contract and passed it to Jayzero who signed it immediately without saying a word. Tarry wasn’t done talking though. “You do realise the reason you are still walking of your own free will right now is because I have allowed it?” The smarmy Englishman said he “spared” Jayzero from his CC last week because he wanted him to be at 100% when he defeats him at
2 Pretty 2 Bleed. “However, after thinking about it for the past week, well, I’ve changed my mind.“ Tarry clicked his fingers and the CC members surround Jayzero. Shit’s gonna get real right about now! Jayzero laughed and turned the table over on Tarry, sending him flying to the ground! He quickly turned around and got shots in on
Desmond Wolfe and
Magnus but was quickly overwhelmed by the CC numbers. JR fled the ring as an enraged Tarry made his way back to his feet and directed his soldiers.
Doug Williams picks the table back up, sets it up in the corner and Wolfe and Magnus of
London Brawling pick Jayzero up and drive him through the table with a vicious double spinebuster!
Wade Barrett then lifts him on his shoulders and drops him back down with the Wasteland! Tarry picks up Jayzero’s World Championship belt and instructs London Brawling to hold up the lifeless World Champion so he can crack him in the skull with it! Jayzero crumples to the ground as Tarry and the CC finally depart, clearly satisfied with their destruction of the World Champion.
Booker T questions whether or not Jayzero will be able to recover from such a brutal attack and be able to defend his title on Sunday.
BP medical staff are quickly on the scene and help Jayzero to the back as the still stunned crowd give him a polite applause.
Cameras are in the
Meanest Girls private dressing room and find a still furious
Tiffany crying to
Brandon. “Can you believe that bitch
Sable?” “ME, in a first blood match??!” Brandon tries to calm her down but Tiffany goes off on him. “And don’t think I’ve forgot about you leaving me high and dry in our match last week!” Brandon apologizes and says later on tonight he plans on going to the ring and calling out
Burke ahead of their I Quit match on Sunday to prove that he’s really not scared of him. He says it would mean a lot to him if she would accompany him out there. Tiffany doesn’t appear to be interested though. “Just shut up!” “I don’t have time for this!” “I have more important things to worry about right now!” Brandon is speechless as Tiffany storms out. Uh oh, trouble in Meanest Girls paradise!
In a highly charged grudge match,
Jessica battled
Michelle McCool. There was very little in the way of wrestling here as the two rivals spent the better part of 10 minutes brawling before Jessica finally caught the
LayCool member in the Couch Recliner and forced her to tap out! Clearly still seething after weeks of abuse, Jessica refused to break the hold even after the bell! The cheers in the arena got louder and louder the longer it went on until the other half of Team LayCool,
Layla finally made her way to the ring and broke the hold to thunderous boo’s. Layla grabbed Jessica by the hair and pulled her off but Jessica fought back and smashed the annoying Brit’s face into the turnbuckle repeatedly! Looking to turn her attention back to Michelle, Jessica was quickly caught off guard when she turned around and walked right into a big boot from Mrs. Undertaker! Michelle and Layla double teamed Jessica mercilessly and even dropped her on her head with a sickening double DDT on the outside of the ring. The wannabe duo seemed to take pleasure in basking in the boo’s of the crowd.
Yeah, you know this shit is made up when Michelle McCool is getting a crowd reaction. After a brief commercial break, we return and
Sable (who really has been kept busy tonight, hasn’t she?) says that she’s sick of these 2 on 1 assaults. She announces that on Sunday at
2 Pretty 2 Bleed it will be a fair fight and books a tag team match: LayCool will take on Jessica…and a partner of her choosing.
In a rematch from the first ever
BP World Championship match back in March, seemingly lifelong enemies
John Cena and
The Miz squared off once again. In a predictably one-sided affair, JC made the Mizfit his bitch and made him tap out to the STFU in very short order! Afterwards,
Jason came out to congratulate “The Champ” and had a proposal for him. He says it’s been a dream come true teaming with him these past few weeks and thanks him for all he’s done for him. He praises Cena as “one of the greatest of all-time” and says out of respect, he’s here to challenge him to a match this Sunday. “It would truly be an honour to go one-on-one with the legendary John Cena.” JC smiles, nods his head and then shakes Jason’s hand. The challenge has been accepted!
Burke is backstage being interviewed by
AJ. He says up next he and
Brandon will come face to face one last time ahead of their I Quit match at
2 Pretty 2 Bleed. “That is, unless he pussies out and runs away from me again.” Burke promises that he’ll make Brandon quit on Sunday and that he’ll tell him that to his face tonight.
Finally, a rather pensive looking
Brandon made his way to the ring. He was accompanied by a somewhat reluctant looking
Tiffany, after all, so perhaps they kissed and made up after their little blow-up earlier tonight? Or maybe not…a clearly annoyed Tiffany seemed offended when Brandon ordered her to “go get him a mic.” Brandon explained that he’s just been playing mind games with
Burke in recent weeks…he’s really NOT scared of him. Fans chant “bullshit.” “Honestly, I’m not!” Even he doesn’t believe that shit! Brandon revealed that
Meanest Girls bitches
Rene Dupree and
Jazz are still recovering from the “cowardly” attacks that were inflicted upon them a few weeks ago and Tiffany is all he’s got left. She rolls her eyes. B says that “when you take on one Meanest Girl, you take on both of us!” and promises that Burke won’t be able to “handle their jelly” on Sunday. Tiffany takes exception. “What the hell are you talking about?” “I have a Championship match this Sunday…I ain’t got time for you and Burkie’s little games.” An embarrassed Brandon tries to make her see sense. “But wait…what about our plan?!“ “You can’t do me like this in front of everyone!“ Tiffany is having none of it though. “Sorry boo, you’re on your own tonight…and you‘ll be on your own on Sunday!” The Women’s Champion makes her exit as Brandon pleads with her not to leave him, even going so far as to clutch at her leg as she’s stepping through the ropes. “This is pathetic!” exclaims
JR. With Tiffany gone, Brandon kneels in the middle of the ring with his head in his hands. Just when he thinks things can’t get any worse…it’s Burke! The Scotsman makes his way to the ring and doesn’t appear to have any sympathy for poor Lil’ B’s plight! Rather surprisingly given his usual cowardly nature, Brandon didn’t back down. Perhaps feeling he has nothing left to lose, Brandon bitch slaps Burkie! Burke no-sold this heinous act, smirked, and dropped B with a huge right hand to the jaw! He unleashed a flurry of shots to Brandon on the mat until B kicked him in the balls! Their
catfightheated brawl made it’s way to ringside.
Booker T stepped up from the announce table to try and restore order but Brandon cheap-shotted him for his efforts! Taking advantage of the distraction, Burke clotheslines B over the security barricade and they brawl through the crowd! Burke hands Brandon his ass for a good 5 minutes as the crowd are in a frenzy getting an up close and personal view of the action! The brawl finally makes it’s way back to the ringside area as Brandon once again uses a dastardly tactic to gain the upper hand by biting Burke’s fingers when he tries to grab him! B grabs a steel chair from under the ring and swings for Burke‘s head…but the Scot ducked and Brandon turns back around and gets speared into the steel ring steps by Burke! Burke applies a modified STFU/Crippler Crossface to Brandon on the outside. B is tapping like crazy but this ain’t no match, ho! “What, so you quit?! …I can’t hear you!” the vengeful Burke mocks him! B continues to tap but Burke won’t release the hold until eventually
BP security come out and drag his ass off. “That’s just a taste of what you got coming on Sunday!“ Burke warns him as he’s being held back from inflicting any further punishment. A barely conscious by this point Brandon somehow stumbles back to his feet. Burke fights his way past security and knocks him back down before extra officials run out to drag him off! A huge “let him go!” chant erupts from the crowd. A beyond pissed Brandon seizes the opportunity with security holding Burke back and cheap shots him by raking his eyes! All that does is further anger him though as he AGAIN powers free of the security and tackles B right over the top of the announce table! Poor JR is in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets knocked down in the melee! They continue trading blows on the ground until yet ANOTHER swarm of security hit’s the ringside area and finally manages to separate them as a booming “let them fight!” chant rings around the arena. There aren’t any announcers left to sign us off so the show abruptly goes off the air with Burke and Brandon both staring a hole through each others eyes, being held back by dozens of officials, and screaming obscenities at each other.
NFA 9/21/11 Quick Results:
Women’s Champion Tiffany def Velvet Sky in a bra & panties match
Edge, Chris Jericho & John Morrison def Tiarnán, Randy Orton & Cody Rhodes
Jessica def Michelle McCool
John Cena def The MizOMG,
2 Pretty 2 Bleed is THIS Sunday! Check out the official card below and be sure to order the show right away! Don’t be streaming my shit!
Live this Sunday on PPV…
Beautiful Persons presents
2 Pretty 2 Bleed!
World Title - Jayzero© vs. THE Tarrynator
Women’s Title First Blood Match - Tiffany© vs. Angelina Love
European Title - Worldsstrongestman© vs. Mark Henry
I Quit Match - Brandon vs. Burke
Triple Threat Match - Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. Tiarnán
Jason vs. John Cena
LayCool vs. Jessica & ? ? ? 
) She tried to sabotage your relationship with Kelly. (Speaking of which... M.I.A. much Kelly?) All Brandon did was steal your title, brutally attack you off camera, and almost ended your career. Not to mention all the constant insults, cheap shots, and stinkfaces. Don't you think you're overreacting just an itty bitty bit?
