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Post by Brandon on Jun 27, 2011 11:30:17 GMT -5
Oh please. You guys weren't crying about fairness when you were tripping poor Kelly Kelly or sleeping your way to World Championship matches. Burkie needed a little help too.  |
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Post by Tiarnán on Jun 27, 2011 11:50:17 GMT -5
Awesome show. Perhaps getting my comeuppance will bring out a more human side in me or something.
Who's next?
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Post by Brandon on Jun 27, 2011 11:57:53 GMT -5
I still have one more show, but I'm pretty sure Mutant Couch is next on the list. If not her, then Jayzero.
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Post by Mutant Couch on Jun 27, 2011 22:16:51 GMT -5
Yeah, I think I'm just going to have to forgo this altogether. Classes started again today and I have fuck-all in regard to free time.
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Post by Burke on Jun 29, 2011 15:24:23 GMT -5
No Fatties Allowed Episode 18!                   |
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Post by Brandon on Jun 29, 2011 15:29:49 GMT -5
Fresh off of Over The Weight Limit, NFA is back with all of your old favorites, a few new faces, and the same drama you've come to know and love. Days of Our Lives ain't got shit on this.
Kicking off our show, Beautiful Persons newest World Champion, Burke, stood in the ring alongside John Cena and Kelly Kelly. There was red carpeting in the ring and balloons tied to the turnbuckles. "This is all a bit much for me." Burke modestly admitted. As he went on to dedicate his title victory to his friends, and more importantly the fans, he was rudely interrupted by Jayzero, who stomped to the ring with a microphone in hand. "Last night was a joke! That title should be mine!" Jayzero cried. His anger was directed towards Cena more so than Burke. "I had everything set up and you ruined it!" He continued. "Have you all gone mad?" Tarry appeared at the top of the stage, interrupting the confrontation. "That title was stolen from me last night!" Just when it looked like all four men were about to brawl, Sable appeared at the top of the ramp. "Can you boys wrap this little party up? I do have a show to run." She reminded them. "If you want to fight so badly, do it in a match. Tonight, Burke will team with John Cena to take on Jayzero and Tarry." The GM decided. Cena and Burke high fived upon hearing the news, while Jayzero and Tarry eyed each other with contempt. They hardly considered themselves friends.
Hoping to please their King before his match, London Brawling approached the ring to take on NFA's newest resident jobbers, The Young Bucks. After viciously ripping through the competition and reminding the audience that Continental Coalition is still a force to be reckoned with, Magnus planted Jeremy Buck with the Mag Daddy Driver for the win.
Next, the fans were treated to a slice of Diva heaven as the combination of ODB, Madison Rayne, Layla, Winter and Jazz took on fan favorites Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly, Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich. The heels spent the majority of the match working on Kelly in their corner, making frequent tags to distract the referee and quadruple team the blonde bombshell. With the NFA crowd behind her, Kelly managed to fight Winter off in the corner. After turning around to shove Layla off the ring apron, Kelly nailed Winter with a flying clothesline before making the hot tag to Candice. Storming the ring in a flurry of offense, Candice managed to catch Winter off guard with a spinning wheel kick. Just as Candice went for the cover, Madison ran into the ring and interrupted the pin. Y'all know what happened next. Beauty Mark by Velvet, fallaway slam by ODB, Botox Injection by Angelina, Bitch Clamp by Jazz, Chokeslam by Lacey, Layout by Layla, K2 by Kelly, swinging side slam by Winter, and finally the Candywrapper by Candice. With the two legal combatants in the ring, Candice went for the cover on Winter, this time uninterrupted. With the faces standing tall, Candice, Kelly and the Beautiful People cleared the ring of the heels and raised each others arms victoriously.
Meanest Girls strutted to the ring in their matching velour gear, linking arms with René Duprée between them. They knew Jason and Justin Gabriel had a score to settle, but they were confident with Duprée by their side. Jason and Justin stepped onto the stage next, but they weren't alone. Ashley Massaro stepped out between the duo. Thrusting her arms into the air and releasing a row of pyro behind her, the punky playmate jogged down the ramp with Jason and Justin following closely behind. Brandon and Tiffany weren't the least bit pleased. With the match underway, Meanest Girls retreated to their corner, leaving the muscle work to René. As the match found its way outside, Gabriel shoved Duprée into the ring apron. Seeing an opportunity to insert herself, Tiffany grabbed a handful of Justin's hair. Unaware of Ashley climbing into the ring after her, Tiffany was shoved off the ring apron right into René's arms, which the referee counted as a tag. Brandon's jaw dropped in response. Placing his hands on his hips, he tapped his foot against the ring apron, impatiently waiting for an explanation. Seeing Brandon's expression, René quickly threw his hands up, dropping Tiffany on her tailbone. With Tiffany rubbing her jelly on the outside, Ashley rolled her back into the ring and body slammed her fellow cover girl near the corner. While Brandon questioned René, Ashley climbed to the second rope and nailed Tiffany with the Starstruck, scoring the victory for her team. While Jason and Justin celebrated with Ashley, Brandon threw his hand in René's face, silencing him. Could Duprée's presence cause trouble in paradise?
Newcomers Sarita and Rosita approached the ring next, along with their boys Hernandez and Anarquia. AJ Lee and Naomi Night awaited them in the ring as the rookie-Divas prepared to face Mexican America. It was quite an impressive debut for the four women, who put on a fast paced high flying show. Nevertheless, Mexican America found themselves victorious when Hernandez made his presence felt. Hopping onto the ring apron, Hernandez ruthlessly pie faced poor AJ to the canvas, allowing Rosita to strike with the moonsault for the win. While Mexican America celebrated the corrupt victory, the NXT girls huddled together in the corner, scared to death of that thug Hernandez.
Jessica found herself in the opposing corner of her former BPX teammate, Tiarnán, as he took on Edge. It was clear that Tiarnán's mind was elsewhere, as he seemed to be going through the motions. He almost seemed medicated. After grounding Edge with a corner facebuster, Tiarnán propped him up for the Dragon Sleeper. Just when he locked in the hold, something caught Tiarnán's eye. Randy Orton was coming down the ramp, holding the European Championship. "That's mine!" Tiarnán shrilled. Tossing Edge aside, Tiarnán stood on the bottom rope and shouted at Randy while Jessica encouraged Edge to his feet. Randy just grinned at Tiarnán, running his hand along the faceplate of the title. Tiarnán groaned in agony and tugged at his short curls. Having forgotten all about the match, Tiarnán went bugged eyed when he spotted Edge squatting in the corner. Before he could retaliate, Edge had taken him down with a spear for the win. As Edge and Jessica celebrated on the outside (they didn't want to be anywhere near Tiarnán), Randy retreated up the ramp. His work was done.
Carrying over their differences from the PPV, Maryse put her Women's Championship on the line against Melina. Taking personal offense to Maryse's backstabbing, Melina was vicious in her offense. "You were always a horrible friend!" The Latina screamed. The two women sparred against one another, showing off their impressive kickboxing and karate skills. It was more like a game of Mortal Kombat than a wrestling match. When Melina was seated on Maryse shoulders for a victory role, she caught site of The Miz walking down the ramp. Taking advantage of the distraction, Maryse dropped Melina on her back. Pulling the challenger up by handfuls of weave, Maryse drilled Melina to the canvas with the French Kiss, just like at Over The Weight Limit.
With Melina down, The Miz entered the ring and shoved the referee aside. Pulling Melina to her feet, Miz held the Latina's arms behind her back, allowing Maryse to trash talk her former friend in between slaps. Before things went too far, Melina's beau John Morrison hit the ring. After tossing Melina aside like yesterday's garbage, The Miz was speared to the mat by Morrison and a brawl ensued. With Morrison mounted on top of her man, Maryse appeared from behind and struck with the French TKO, dropping Morrison in a heap. With his adversary down, Miz pulled Morrison to his feet and nailed him with the Skull Crushing Finale for added insult. With Melina and Morrison down and dead like Romeo + Juliet, The Miz held the ropes for Maryse and accompanied her up the ramp to the back.
As a break from all of the heavy mellow drama, we were treated to a rump shaking showdown as the original MILF of wrestling, Joy Giovanni, took on SmackDown!'s former first lady, Kristal Marshall, in a bikini contest. World's Strongest Man served as the master of ceremonies. After the two Divas left booty enthusiasts the world over in need of a cigarette, WSM ultimately declared Joy Giovanni the winner, thanks to her baby face status. In a moment reminiscent of her Diva Search days dancing with Kamala, Joy celebrated with WSM while Kristal leered enviously.
Backstage, we caught up with Burke and Kelly Kelly, who were talking intimately amongst themselves in a corner. John Cena hated to cock block, but he informed Burke that their match was next. "Good luck guys." Kelly smiled, patting Burke on the chest. Burke turned to leave, but stopped. "Kelly, I was wondering... do you maybe wanna see a movie later? If you're not busy of course." He asked hopefully. "Yeah! I've been dying to see that new zombie movie." Kelly stated. "Great." Burke smiled. Could he possibly be anymore in love? "I'll see you after the show." Burke walked backwards down the hall, still captivated by her beauty. Kelly just giggled to herself, finding Burke all too cute. "Let's get through this match first." Cena nudged his partner playfully, snapping Burke out of his daze.
Jayzero and Tarry made their way to the ring together, but they didn't so much as share a glance. Burke and John Cena were out next, rousing the fans to their feet as they stepped out on stage. While Burke and Cena played rock-paper-scissors to determine who would start things off, Tarry was less sportsmanly, demanding that he start over Jayzero. They argued over it, but ultimately Jay complied, only so the match could start. "Tag him in!" Tarry pointed past Burke to Cena, the man he held responsible for his loss of the World Championship. Shrugging, Burke answered Tarry's request and tagged Cena into the match. Before Tarry had a chance to lock up, Jayzero slapped his shoulder and blind tagged himself into the match. "What are you doing?" Tarry asked irritably. Jay just waved him out of the ring. Following the rules, Tarry stepped onto the ring apron, waiting to see Jayzero fail. Instead of approaching Cena however, Jay placed his hands against Tarry's chest and shoved him off the ring apron. Livid, Tarry climbed back into the ring and tackled Jayzero from behind. Burke and Cena laughed in disbelief as they watched the two men fight each other. Looking to wrap this up, Burke pulled Tarry off of Jayzero and tossed him outside before climbing out of the ring after him. When Cena pulled Jayzero to his feet, Jay reeled back and shoved him away. Honestly, Cena was only trying to help. He almost felt bad for Jay. But Tarry's attack had left him berserk. Charged full speed at Cena, Jayzero was taken down by a drop toe hold, followed by the STFU. With no one to tag out to, Jayzero had no choice but to submit, making Cena victorious in his return match.
Will Mexican America become a force to be reckoned with in BP? Will René Duprée cause a rift between Brandon and Tiffany? Has Tiarnán suffered from a full on nervous breakdown? I don't know, I’m not writing it. Stop asking me.
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Post by Burke on Jun 29, 2011 15:48:05 GMT -5
Taking Kelly to see a zombie movie would literally be the greatest date ever. I bet she'd be so excited. I'd comfort her if she got too frightened, of course.
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Post by Astrozombie on Jun 29, 2011 19:17:53 GMT -5
!!!! Yes!  |
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Post by Brandon on Jul 1, 2011 7:01:28 GMT -5
Oh, I forgot to say what my favorites storylines and stuff were.
Loved:
Burke/Kelly Kelly
Anything involving Sable
Meanest Girls
Randy Orton/Tiarnán
Liked:
Continental Coalition
Jason/Justin's budding romance
Maryse/Melina/Beautiful People
Edge/Jessica/Pope
Could have done without:
I regret nothing!
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